tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-84408572024-03-07T11:24:46.074-07:00Bathos for the MisanthropicMaking terrible choices, so that you can live free and beautiful.Romius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.comBlogger414125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8440857.post-74537702830517046132023-09-09T13:52:00.001-07:002023-09-09T13:52:06.159-07:00hey, Singapore! So apparently I'm getting 1,000 hits a day from Singapore. Can anyone tell me why? Romius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8440857.post-61744442299809943332014-01-16T04:07:00.002-07:002014-01-16T04:40:12.703-07:00I teach you things about Lesbians and Fatties (edited from an earlier post)<h3 class="post-title entry-title" itemprop="name">
<a href="http://bathosforthemisanthropic.blogspot.com/2008/01/i-teach-you-things-about-lesbians.html">I teach you things about Lesbians</a>
</h3>
<div class="post-header">
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-4727914862997675232" itemprop="description articleBody">
I like the fact that the only people who read me are fat lesbians. <i>I say fat lesbian like there is some other <b>kind</b></i>. <br />
<br />
I'm sorry about that fat lesbian crack. I know a lot of fat lesbians
and I don't mean to hurt your feelings. In fact most of my girlfriends
have been fat lesbians, so I think I've learned a few things about them.<br />
<br />
Like I know there are many different categories of Lesbians.<br />
<br />
First there are the masculine <a href="http://www.afterellen.com/archive/ellen/Movies/2005/11/aggressives.html">Boy-lesbians</a>.
Boy lesbians look a lot like prepubescent boys. They have short spiky
hair, they wear boxer shorts and hang their pants off their ass like
gangsters do. Boy lesbians scare the shit out of me. Boy-lesbians are
militant feminists. And even though they are anti-penis <i>they love</i>
penetration. Sometimes a boy-lesbian tries to pass herself off as a
guy. Don't worry too much guys, boy-lesbians don't want to physically
transform into a man, because being a boy-lesbian is way more fun. The
just want to "try on" being a man. You know.. like finding out what it's
like to pay for dinner and shit. Boy-Lesbians [aka aggressives] love to hook
up with lipstick lesbians.<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQHV8PyHfjIr09jmptJ4pbLMeLc6A3VRCCxk1_FsiBi5hB4kdp-PTYG5fSpyTj-mD_Zxc6gSDADhVHVFR_9-_Me4clSxHdeklJD8pKYxkiJFrgzZPe9GJj4DT9YPUR7FIry88Q9w/s1600-h/shirt.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQHV8PyHfjIr09jmptJ4pbLMeLc6A3VRCCxk1_FsiBi5hB4kdp-PTYG5fSpyTj-mD_Zxc6gSDADhVHVFR_9-_Me4clSxHdeklJD8pKYxkiJFrgzZPe9GJj4DT9YPUR7FIry88Q9w/s400/shirt.jpg" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5158991519957054898" style="cursor: hand; display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a><br />
Lipstick lez's aren't even lesbians, they are just tired of guys getting
"off " before they finish their orgasms. Watch out for a Lipstick
lesbians. They will blame you for all their sexual problems. I know a
lot of lipstick gals who've never used a vibrator or explored their
pussies with a mirror or even watched an entire episode of Rosanne. How
do they expect to achieve orgasm with some one else when they can't even
give one to themselves?<br />
<br />
You've heard advice that women should, "discover their bodies through the use of dildos." Sound advice unless taken too far and that's usually what happens to the lipstick kind of lesbian. She discovers her clit and then goes to town. Eventually she can only get off using a vibrator
and so she's ruined herself for normal dick. I have two words for
those bitches. Fuck no! I am not mutilating my dick by attaching metal rods sideways into my
dick just because your shit is so stretched out from giant black dildos
and numb from that pocket rocket electrocution that you can't feel my
three inches of thunder!<br />
<br />
If you aren't a lipstick vag or boy lesbian then you are probably on of
those fat lesbians. Too the fatties reading this and getting pissed off
at me, don't. I know you aren't the kind of fat lesbian that turned her
vagina away from dick, because the guys don't like you. You're fat. But
not ugly. If you had a six pack of beer, a copy of Planet of the Apes
for us to watch, and could stomach laughing at my jokes for an hour, you
could get laid by me.<br />
<br />
Then there is the reluctant lesbian, or the lesbian who just had too
much religon mixed in her mommie's baby sack. Reluctant lesbians know
that lovin' a chick is wrong and will get them to hell. But they have
such overgrown clits that every time a hot chick walks by they get a
boner like I did in 6th grade swim class. I remember how I forgot my
swim trunks that day and had to borrow a pair of green see-through
speedos that the school supplied for the idiots who forgot their
trunks. All those cute girls walked past me and I checked out their
stiff nipples and got a boner. Only nobody knew I had one because I
hadn't hit puberty yet, so my little wiener was more a like a Vienna
Sausage than a life-sized cock.<br />
<br />
I have no idea if that's why I developed that fetish for naked male
/clothed female porn, or if the Vienna sausage thing got me excited
about Sigmund Freud, and he made me want to be a psychologist until I
figured out that would require a lot of work, and I was a lot more
interested in jacking off than reading books and doing homework.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: verdana;">(I can teach you a thing or two about fat chicks. Even Though you may hate fat chicks.)</span><br />
<br />
Because you are not the kinda fat chick who's pussy stinks, you may not
know a lot about stinky pussy. First point of fact. If you are fat chick
and if you think you have never had a stinky pussy, then I have some
seriously fucked up news for you. Your pussy stinks. Your pussy always
stinks and it's stinking right now. Do me a favor. Sneak a peak down
there. Ok, now go smell that finger. I hope we got clear on this,
Captain Tuna! You get my point.<br />
<br />
The best thing about fat chicks is they have cleavage. And the best
thing about cleavage is it look a lot like ass, only tits and cleavage
don't drip shit out accidentally. The scary thing about fat tits on
chicks is sometimes those chicks don't really have big tits. I mean
sometimes it looks like they got a big rack. But sometimes those tits
will turn out to just be a big fold. Some fat chicks have a skinny
girl's small tit genes and just love to eat. And some fat chicks just
have the random bad luck to have small tits and a giant frame. I've paid
money for freak shows, but I always ask for my money back it they show
me into a room full of fat chicks with tiny tits.<br />
<br />
Some things are just too freaky, even for T.<br />
<br />
Snuggles.<br />
<br />
p.s. funny thing is I wrote all this shit before I watched the
documentary "aggressives." I just watched the documentary because I
downloaded it for free from the public library. <br />
<br />
p.s.s. I prefer the term I invented for aggressives, boy-lesbians. Don't you? Here's the YouTube.<br />
<br /></div>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/IVdqdbNtg40" width="420"></iframe>
Romius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8440857.post-56718101679811883392010-07-28T03:24:00.000-07:002010-07-28T03:24:44.116-07:00Don't check your blog statsThey serve only as a reminder to depress you.<br />
<br />
<br />
Talked to a nerdy girl at a bar last night. I like nerds. I want to get with a nerd. She was ex-Mormon and made a joke about 8 year old boys and the pope.<br />
<br />
I could be in love.<br />
<br />
Totally got cock-blocked by her friends. But she "just" turned 21. <br />
<br />
You say. "Maybe that was a good thing as I should date women my age."<br />
<br />
Are you serious?Romius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8440857.post-5516763358083046702010-06-01T01:19:00.001-07:002010-06-01T01:21:02.810-07:00Somebody ought to fix this.If you Google "<a href="http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=how+to+kill+your+baby+and+get+away+with+it">How to kill your baby and get away with it</a>." You will get no useful information.Romius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8440857.post-28261210291842156522010-05-08T03:07:00.002-07:002010-05-08T03:07:22.129-07:00For the Phone DogRomius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8440857.post-80226965283328089082010-05-08T00:56:00.001-07:002010-05-08T00:57:43.321-07:00I have bad dreamsI keep having this dream where it is my 40th birthday, and all my friends and family forget that it's my birthday, and nobody writes me, and nobody calls me, and nobody comes over to visit.<br />
<br />
So I write this long post on Facebook about how I hate my life and the world and I decide to kill myself. I buy a bunch of pills and start drinking and arrive home to a shock. A surprise party. As soon as I stumble through the door I throw up and pass out.<br />
<br />
I wake up to a stomach ache and a severe headache. I see a number of family members and friends through a halo of dim eyesight. I have only one remark for them:<br />
<br />
"So <i>this</i> is what Hell is like."Romius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8440857.post-81643690453668756692010-05-02T00:41:00.000-07:002010-05-02T00:41:06.600-07:00Aphorisms and AnotationsKnowledge is useless. The ability to see all sides is what paralyzes god.Romius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8440857.post-24426723027438761692010-04-17T00:44:00.002-07:002010-04-17T00:48:01.417-07:00I follow John Larroquette on Twitter.The gray carpet underneath my feet is scrunchy. I would like to tell you that it is not wet with my cum, but I can't. I guess that starts us out kinda creepy. And that is regrettable. I like to keep my creepiness to myself and slowly let you in on it. That way my creepiness is more like an inside joke that we share than some kind of mental illness on my part.<br />
<br />
Like when I tell you I can't control my shivering around women anymore and that I am not too sure how long I can make it if I don't get some sex soon.<br />
<br />
I'd offer to sit you some place other than next to me on the couch, but that would require moving all the used paper plates off of my chair, and I hate moving shit off my chair. My chair is not for sitting. My chair is an extra dining room table.<br />
<br />
Also you sitting close to me is about as close as I get to sex. So I take your human heat and imagine it to be a warm blankey that you have given me to sleep with when I call out your name in the middle of the night, because of the sleep terrors I get.<br />
<br />
I know this makes me seem like a kid to you, even though I am 40 and you are half my age, but I use little mind tricks like that. Not on purpose. Not really. I mean no harm. No harm is intended. All you do is think of me younger than I really am when I use my mental tricks on you.<br />
<br />
Don't judge me reader. Nothing ever comes of it.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.johnlarroquette.com/home.html">JL</a> did not write this, I did.Romius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8440857.post-39417893095014329152010-04-15T00:15:00.001-07:002010-04-15T00:16:54.059-07:00I need to stop reading your personal adsIf I read how one more person likes to watch movies and enjoys listening to music I am going to puke on myself. Then I am going to make you eat it off my stomach, because that's how I roll. <br />
<br />
I roll with a giant plastic tarp attached to my truck that I lie out before you, all the while forcing down your throat the puked out residue of my intestines, all because I get sick of reading the same banal shit about how you enjoy doing things that are awesome, but hate doing things that suck.<br />
<br />
Other things that make me want to decapitate you? When you talk about how you are interested in being challenged, and how you need a man with goals. I don't have any goals. I think goals are stupid. What happens if you get all your goals before you are dead. Do you just sit there for the rest of your life wishing you had sucked at the lower levels of life more?<br />
<br />
Life is not a video game.<br />
<br />
If I have to read one more personal ad about how you want to "grow" I will be forced to grind your decapitated head into hamburger meat and feed it to your now orphaned children.<br />
<br />
Grow what? The only thing I have noticed growing is your ass. And now it has gotten way too big for either of us to know what to do about it.<br />
<br />
The only thing I can think of for you is to for you to continue your junior college study of Oprah on the Lifetime network and for me to start dating your teenage daughter. At least she puts out on the first date.<br />
<br />
Signed.<br />
<br />
An exasperated man.Romius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8440857.post-87830227657040358732010-04-12T23:36:00.000-07:002010-04-12T23:36:35.201-07:00Nothing much happened today.Which I guess is okay if you are me. I mean who am I to ask for things to happen to me just so I can write them down for you to enjoy.<br />
<br />
Number 1.<br />
<br />
You don't enjoy anything. So why the hell should I go about the hard task of taking all the mundane shit that happens to me and try to make it seem interesting. <br />
<br />
I won't. And I don't.<br />
<br />
But at least I am writing in this blog again. I think we can just turn this blog more into a daily journal than a place to go for my creative writing since my creative writing is so shitty anyway.<br />
<br />
Poop Watch<br />
<br />
I took one today. The house is full of mosquitoes. I am sure that is a coincidence.<br />
<br />
My computer is running slow again. I am out of memory. I need a new internal hard drive (or maybe external)/ I need some more RAM as well.<br />
<br />
I know I mentioned that before but I think it is important to repeat oneself as much as one can get away with it.<br />
<br />
Not that I did here as what I just wrote bored the shit out of me.<br />
<br />
I am doing laundry.<br />
<br />
That was more boring. But I am not going to worry about that. I am just gonna keep typing because I am going to start writing every day here at this blog.<br />
<br />
Like it or not.<br />
<br />
I watched 24 today. I made a giant pizza and ate the entire thing.<br />
<br />
I told my brother I am not going to get an i-pod touch. I have a classic and I am (one day) going to get an Android based phone so I don't really see the need for an i-pod touch or i-phone.<br />
<br />
I hate the new i-pad. Who has money to buy something that is a niche filler and not a necessity?<br />
<br />
Fan boys I guess.<br />
<br />
I am going to file this post under worst written post ever. I am sorry I wasted your time. I just need to get in the habit of writing every day.Romius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8440857.post-37989316443451551062010-04-11T18:40:00.000-07:002010-04-11T18:40:54.829-07:00I need to get a PO Box so you can send me drugs through the mail. I hear that is totally safe.After 3 weeks of coughing out phlegm I think that the bacteria have finally surrendered, or at least they have figured out a way to peacefully co-exist within my lungs. Either way I am happy. I am done coughing up and spitting mucus into a paper towel or giant noogies on the street.<br />
<br />
I've alway found the practice of hocking up mucus to be disgusting- even when I am amazed by the strength and power some men demonstrate when they engage in the practice.<br />
<br />
It seems to me that those men are not at all bothered by such a practice and it also seem that those men always have girl friends so it may be the case that I am doing it all wrong and they best way to attract women is to spit something up on the asphalt.<br />
<br />
Let me know ladies.*<br />
<br />
*your response can't be that yo find the habit disgusting. you need to address the fact that all these men have gf's and I don't. otherwise you two cents ain't worth one.<br />
<br />
If you read my other blog (and you also read this blog) then you might want to get a real hobby like taking PCP. <br />
<br />
Like I said if you read the other blog (who reads this one?) then you might have gotten the impression that I am calm motherfucker on PCP. <br />
<br />
That's not exactly true.<br />
<br />
I'm a fucking maniac. I can't even describe what the fuck happened last time I was on it. Let's just say I participated in a number of felonies.<br />
<br />
Don't do PCP with your crazy crack head gf. She will want to use the kid she pooped out as fodder for comic relief. And two year olds are not very good at running even from people on PCP. <br />
<br />
"Don't worry Bobby, I'm not on PCP anymore."<br />
<br />
The kid will fucking believe you know matter how many times you lie to him. <br />
<br />
Really, I mean two year old's are almost clinically retarded.<br />
<br />
In a side note finding PCP and E is really difficult right now. Damn near impossible. If you can (and it's legal) send me some to my PO BOX. You'd really be helping a mother fucker out.<br />
<br />
p.s.s<br />
<br />
I'm going to a rave this Saturday. Hopefully I will grab a lot of crotch! I hear chicks go to raves and don't take anything because all the E takers are all love and dovey and not aggressive jerks like most guys who drink. <br />
<br />
They have no idea that I get horny as shit on E and I get all crazy intense with my ASS GRABBIN' (registered trademark of the ASS GRABBIN Halloween Costume Company).<br />
<br />
Pretty sure I'll get away with it, but we will see.<br />
<br />
PSSS<br />
<br />
Really bad insomnia for the last month. Also headaches. I wonder if my brain hurts from all the experimenting I'm doing.Romius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8440857.post-3036807785867686152009-12-23T04:37:00.002-07:002009-12-23T04:41:44.246-07:00Suicide Christmas CardsThere is always bad weather around Christmas time. The wind won't stop blowing, the rain won't stop falling. Raining down on me like the bullets rained down that night at Columbine.<br />
<br />
What a fucking night that must have been!<br />
<br />
Dear Mom & Dad<br />
<br />
This is just a little card to let you know that I care.<br />
<br />
If you were wondering if Uncle Tommy's molesting had something to do with my decision to smash my head like one of those Halloween pumpkins that David Letterman tosses off buildings in his crazy "throw stuff off tall building segments" then you were straight up correcto!<br />
<br />
You should really think about getting on that TV show "So you think you are smarter than a 5th grader?"<br />
<br />
Because for the first time in your lives...YOU WERE!~<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
<br />
Billy "your head look a little bit like a pumpkin that got pushed off a 10 story building."<br />
<br />
p.s.<br />
Dirty Hairy was right, " A Colt 45 does some magnificent damage."Romius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8440857.post-57195386185848324772009-12-12T04:59:00.000-07:002009-12-12T04:59:19.259-07:00I should use this blog for something<span style="font-size: x-large;">My Dumps:</span><br />
<br />
I took a massive stinky dump at midnight. Shit stinks, but the smell from my dump worried me. It was the smell of cancer or sickness. I took another dump earlier today. Though that dump was small. Not even perfunctory. Just like the eraser tip from a pencil. More annoying than anything. The big dump was gray. Better than the black dumps I have had for the last week or more.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Media Consumption:</span><br />
<br />
I watched the Daily Show. Two episodes. I listened to Twilight on the Env3. Book 1 parts 4 and 5. I watched the final 20 minutes of Law Abiding Citizen. I watched Full Moon the movie. Am I turning into a 16 year old girl? How the fuck does Twilight part 2 end with a marriage proposal. I was like "get the fuck out of here!" I know Bella will say yes. I am sure of it!<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Hypochondria:</span><br />
<br />
My back hurts. My liver hurts. My liver pain may only be back pain, but you never know. The pain in the liver comes on the lower left hand side of my back. I think I need a new bed. The back pain is worse because of it. I think my testicles have something growing in them. Whatever it is, it is getting bigger. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">SEX:</span><br />
<br />
I did not masturbate today. Romius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8440857.post-22842021413939154332009-07-20T15:34:00.013-07:002009-07-20T17:23:07.090-07:00I found the perfect amauter porn clipThere is something appealing about getting drunk in the middle of the day. I think the idea is that if you can get drunk in the middle of the day you might also be able to get<span style="font-style: italic;"> laid</span> in the middle of the day.<br /><br />I have some homemade refried bean tostadas waiting for me in the kitchen. I should take a pass on eating them and walk down to the neighborhood bar. If I don't eat I could get drunk fast and afterward walk over to local porn shop. Like most porn shops you can rent movies there, but in addition to the take home videos the local porn shop I go to has private booths where you can watch porn. The owners don't care if you jack off in those booths.<br /><br />Porn shop jack-off booths are nothing like coming home to your wife in the middle of the day for a blow job. A wife never stares uncomfortably at the tiny cock hanging out of your shorts like the queers at the front of the porn store do.<br /><br />The queers hang around the front of the store hoping to spot the "first timers" who by mistake find themselves in one of the first 3 booths. The First Timer has no idea that his booth is connected to other booths by windows that have had the glass broken out by hopeful faeries.<br /><br />I can't explain why "straights" would pick one of the booths with the connecting windows. I guess they just like all the male companionship of jacking off together. You know. Like in the sixth grade when you used to "build" forts out of blankets. Because of the heat from of all those blankets you would strip down to your underwear and your best friend would run his hard on all over your thigh, which you made okay by just pretending that all your friend wanted to do was build forts with you because he said he wanted to be in the military like his dad.<br /><br /><br /><div style="margin: auto;" align="center"><object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://www.SubmitYourFlicks.com/embedded/11815" height="540" width="665"><param name="AllowScriptAccess" value="always"><param name="movie" value="http://www.SubmitYourFlicks.com/embedded/11815"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.SubmitYourFlicks.com/embedded/11815" allowscriptaccess="always" wmode="transparent" allowfullscreen="true" height="540" width="665"></embed></object><br /><a href="http://www.submityourflicks.com/">Click here for More Free Porn Movies</a></div><br />This amateur porn clip has it all. The star is an old, fat, hairy, white guy with a small cock. He "comes" in under a minute.<br /><br />The other star of the clip is the fat disinterested wife.<br /><br />This couple looks like most of the couples that shop at my grocery store.<br /><br />The best thing about the clip? EVERYTHING!<br /><br />The clip starts out showing an obviously drunk and obese middle aged woman. The TV is blaring at her. She sips a drink of her 22 ounce "Full Throttle" energy drink.<br /><br />The chubby naked husband strolls over to the wife. His cock in full glory at a good 2 or 3 inches. The wife looks at the cock. She can't believe this tiny thing needs to be sucked off to cum.<br /><br />For the time period from 28 seconds to 45 seconds you can tell she is just phoning in the BJ. But that all changes around 45 seconds. She sucks him good for a few seconds. All it takes is 4 to be exact. After all that attention the husband only needs to jack off for a few more seconds more to come on her face.<br /><br />The really loving part of the "Lunch Time Blow Job" finale is how the wife runs her face through the husbands cum by shaking her head side to side.<br /><br />It's the LOVE that makes Amateur Porn great!Romius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8440857.post-84855551387843902322009-07-19T04:35:00.002-07:002009-07-20T16:29:36.920-07:00I am getting spammedI am forcing people to type in those matching words for a few day until the spam bot gets the point. Hopefully we will be back to regular comment posting soon!Romius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8440857.post-26452425114064775552009-06-15T13:08:00.002-07:002009-06-16T23:33:39.890-07:00The New PodcastNot that you noticed but the old Self Help Center Blogcast was deleted by my hosting site. Something about getting bought out by a paid site. Only the assholes at Podcast did not tell me anything about what was going on so I lost a years worth of shows because I don't have most of the podcast saved.<br /><br />I know none of you like the podcast so none of you care but the podcast was downloaded over 2500 times so maybe a few people out there want to know where I am hosting the new version.<br /><br /><a href="http://selfhelpcenter.mypodcast.com/index.html">HERE.</a>Romius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8440857.post-55799295181710287642009-05-22T12:41:00.000-07:002009-05-22T12:42:59.452-07:00A Purposeless Driven LifeWhat follows will be part 1 of many :
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mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--><w:sdt contentlocked="t" sdtgroup="t" id="89512093"><span style="font-size: 1pt; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";"><w:sdtpr></w:sdtpr><w:sdt xpath="/ns0:BlogPostInfo/ns0:PostTitle" text="t" storeitemid="X_93402F35-7E77-48A0-946E-951BA4E12A51" title="Post Title" id="89512082"></w:sdt></span> <p class="Publishwithline"><span style="font-family: "Wide Latin","serif";">A Purposeless Driven Life. </span><span style=""><w:sdtpr></w:sdtpr></span></p> </w:sdt> <div style="border-style: none none solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color -moz-use-text-color rgb(79, 129, 189); border-width: medium medium 1pt; padding: 0in 0in 2pt;"> <p class="underline"><o:p> </o:p></p> </div> <p class="PadderBetweenControlandBody"><o:p> </o:p></p> <h1>A Purposeless Driven Life®</h1> <p class="MsoNormal">A Magnum Opus by Romius T.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Algerian;">Subtitled: A compendium of all the things I have learned.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">There is no purpose to life.<span style=""> </span>A fact you are well aware of. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Two days have passed since your birthday. No one acknowledged your birthday.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">No one should have.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">By <i style="">not</i> acknowledging your birthday your friends have given you <i style="">not just you a gift</i>, but the <i style="">best</i> gift they can give you.<span style=""> </span>The gift is that of awareness.<span style=""> </span>Awareness of the emptiness of life.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">You feel alone.<span style=""> </span>Good.<span style=""> </span>You are alone. There is no god.<a style="" href="#_ftn1" name="_ftnref1" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style=""><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">[1]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a><span style=""> </span>Even if there is a god, he does not care about you.<span style=""> </span>No serious person could believe in a personal god.<span style=""> </span>But many serious people claim to believe in a non-personal god.<span style=""> </span>I think you call that belief Deism. <a style="" href="#_ftn2" name="_ftnref2" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style=""><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">[2]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">In this essay I had hoped to get around talking about the existence of god, but since I brought it up and since so many of you will have some kind of belief in god I guess I might as well tackle the belief head on.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><span style="font-size: 36pt;">Deism <o:p></o:p></span></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="">Deism is not an acceptable answer to the purposeless driven life.<span style=""> </span>That’s because deism allows many of its practitioners to see purpose in the world. The more pernicious deists see agency in nothing more than random patterns. <span style=""> </span>Usually deists see the agency “behind” the phenomenal world. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>Many deists see “design” in the universe and believe that means there is a god. <a style="" href="#_ftn3" name="_ftnref3" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style=""><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">[3]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a><span style=""> </span>But not all deists make such easy to refute claims.<span style=""> </span>Einstein:<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">"[If you]try and penetrate with our limited means the secrets of nature and you will find that, behind all the discernible laws and connections, there remains something subtle, intangible and inexplicable. <b style="">Veneration</b> <b style="">for this force </b>beyond anything that we can comprehend <b style="">is my religion</b>. To that extent I am, in fact, religious." [My emphasis]</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Einstein was a great man.<span style=""> </span>He was also a very smart man.<span style=""> </span>He was much smarter than me.<span style=""> </span>But is what Einstein talking about god? "Yes, you can call it that.”<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Actually.<span style=""> </span>No.<span style=""> </span>You can’t.<span style=""> </span>That’s not god.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The awe that humans feel when confronted with the “inexplicable” is understandable and it is what drives every great scientist and philosopher to truth.<span style=""> </span>The desire to make sense of the world is natural.<span style=""> </span>Every child is born with it.<span style=""> </span>Curiosity may not be limited to humans, but it certainly is one of our finer characteristics.<span style=""> </span>But it is a giant leap to go from confusion to god.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 28pt;">Veneration.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="">The problem with the Veneration of Mystery. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="">I don’t worship anything I don’t understand. <span style=""> </span>I don’t know why anyone would.<span style=""> </span>That's why I am more of a Troy Aikman kinda guy and less of a Tony Romo kinda guy.<a style="" href="#_ftn4" name="_ftnref4" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style=""><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">[4]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a><span style=""> </span>Even still.<span style=""> </span>That seems like a personal choice of mine and not a logical argument.<a style="" href="#_ftn5" name="_ftnref5" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style=""><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">[5]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="">Let me break down the “logical” argument for you in to several parts.<span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="">First.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><span style=""> </span>Deists act like Atheists. <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="">Einstein said that he “venerated” the “force behind” the seeming logical consistency of the world. But did he?<span style=""> </span>Did he go to church?<span style=""> </span>Did he light candles?<span style=""> </span>Did he worship?<span style=""> </span>Did he pray?<span style=""> </span>How did he devote himself to the force?<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="">The answer is he did not.<span style=""> </span>That is why Spinoza was excommunicated.<a style="" href="#_ftn6" name="_ftnref6" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style=""><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">[6]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a> And rightfully so.<span style=""> </span>Deists never get around to really doing anything religious. They love a good mystery.<span style=""> </span>They make terrific writers of constitutions, but they really have no place for gods as most people understand them.<span style=""> </span>Because Deists don’t act like religious people <i style="">they often</i> get confused for Atheists. <a style="" href="#_ftn7" name="_ftnref7" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style=""><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">[7]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a> <o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="">Second.<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="">The world may not be so darn comprehensible.<a style="" href="#_ftn8" name="_ftnref8" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style=""><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">[8]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a><span style=""> </span>Einstein was not a fan of Quantum Mechanics.<span style=""> </span>He once famously said that “god does not play dice with the universe.” He was wrong. <span style=""> </span>God does play dice.<span style=""> </span>Even if god does not play dice I just wanted you to know that I knew that quote by Einstein.<span style=""> </span>Also, I knew that the second I started the sentence “Einstein once famously said…” you expected me to use that quote.<span style=""> </span>So I did.<span style=""> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="">I guess my point is that if Einstein would have just paid more attention to Quantum Mechanics he might have been an Atheist and saved us all a lot of trouble. <a style="" href="#_ftn9" name="_ftnref9" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style=""><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">[9]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a> But he didn’t.<span style=""> </span>And that is another good reason to dislike religious thinkers. (But that is still not a good enough reason to not believe!)<o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""><o:p> </o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <div style=""><!--[if !supportFootnotes]-->
<br /> <hr align="left" size="1" width="33%"> <!--[endif]--> <div style="" id="ftn1"> <p class="MsoFootnoteText"><a style="" href="#_ftnref1" name="_ftn1" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style=""><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">[1]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a> I know there is no need to instruct you on the silliness of a personal god.<span style=""> </span>All I have to do is point out that Zeus is not real. Nobody prays to Zeus anymore.<span style=""> </span>Speaking of praying. I have no idea why people pray, or light candles.<span style=""> </span>Really!<span style=""> </span>When the fuck did lighting a candle ever do anything?<span style=""> </span>If you think that lighting a candle can do something other than increase your contribution to the alarming growth of green house gasses into the Earth’s atmosphere then you are fooling yourself.<span style=""> </span>What you really believe in is magic.<span style=""> </span>And that is sad.<span style=""> </span>There is no such thing as magic. I know that saying that “there is no such thing as magic” seems like a big claim, and maybe it is.<span style=""> </span>You might even want me to prove.<span style=""> </span>Well I am not gonna.<span style=""> </span>And I think you are an asshole for suggesting to me that I should.<span style=""> </span>By the way, if you believe in magic you can’t claim to be a deist.<span style=""> </span>If you are not a Deist then you are in the same category as the monotheists and the crazy right wing creationists.<span style=""> </span>That category is the crazy folk.</p> </div> <div style="" id="ftn2"> <p class="MsoFootnoteText"><a style="" href="#_ftnref2" name="_ftn2" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style=""><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">[2]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a> At least the dictionary says it is.</p> </div> <div style="" id="ftn3"> <p class="MsoFootnoteText"><a style="" href="#_ftnref3" name="_ftn3" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style=""><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">[3]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a> Do I really need to suggest to you that you go and read Kant?<span style=""> </span>If you don’t want to do the research for yourself then you HAVE to take my word for it.<span style=""> </span>The ontological argument is an argument <i style="">only</i> an idiot could like.<span style=""> </span></p> </div> <div style="" id="ftn4"> <p class="MsoFootnoteText"><a style="" href="#_ftnref4" name="_ftn4" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style=""><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">[4]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a> I still think Tony Romo is going to win me and the Dallas Cowboys at least 2 Super Bowls.</p> </div> <div style="" id="ftn5"> <p class="MsoFootnoteText"><a style="" href="#_ftnref5" name="_ftn5" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style=""><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">[5]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a> If you like big words you might have used aesthetics. </p> </div> <div style="" id="ftn6"> <p class="MsoFootnoteText"><a style="" href="#_ftnref6" name="_ftn6" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style=""><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">[6]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a> I suppose you don’t know who <i style="">he </i>is either. Einstein based some of his understanding of the god force on the pantheism of Spinoza, "I believe in Spinoza's God, who reveals himself in the lawful harmony of all that exists, but not in a God who concerns himself with the fate and the doings of mankind."</p> </div> <div style="" id="ftn7"> <p class="MsoFootnoteText"><a style="" href="#_ftnref7" name="_ftn7" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style=""><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">[7]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a> There is a huge fight between Atheists and theists over Einstein.<span style=""> </span>It seems everybody wants a piece of him.</p> </div> <div style="" id="ftn8"> <p class="MsoFootnoteText"><a style="" href="#_ftnref8" name="_ftn8" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style=""><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">[8]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a> We could play a bunch of logic games here.<span style=""> </span>If the world is <i style="">ultimately incomprehensible</i> (i.e. the thing in itself that is the force behind the apparent lawfulness of the universe) how could the world be comprehensible at all? We probably need to read more Kant.<span style=""> </span></p> </div> <div style="" id="ftn9"> <p class="MsoFootnoteText"><a style="" href="#_ftnref9" name="_ftn9" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style=""><!--[if !supportFootnotes]--><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">[9]</span></span><!--[endif]--></span></span></a> Interesting side note, Einstein’s religious thinking may have clouded his scientific mind to the point that he overlooked Quantum Mechanics and thus avoided reconciling the new science with his theory of relativity ultimately dooming his quest for a theory of everything.<span style=""> </span>The ultimate theory of everything would prove god does not exist <i style="">which would make this whole introduction</i> <i style="">parenthetical.</i><span style=""> </span></p> </div> </div>
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<br />Romius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8440857.post-84544434142922422182009-04-23T15:32:00.000-07:002009-04-23T15:33:34.118-07:00I believe in one less god than you<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/09LbMMv2xTU&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/09LbMMv2xTU&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Romius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8440857.post-53175106598285870622009-04-15T01:58:00.001-07:002009-04-15T01:58:38.148-07:00YES WE CAN!<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ph3ro8SUlHg&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ph3ro8SUlHg&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Romius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8440857.post-49486524902150060502009-04-08T23:00:00.001-07:002009-04-08T23:03:14.682-07:00Simply the Funniest thing I have seen in a long time<table style='font:11px arial; color:#333; background-color:#f5f5f5' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='360' height='353'><tbody><tr style='background-color:#e5e5e5' valign='middle'><td style='padding:2px 1px 0px 5px;'><a target='_blank' style='color:#333; text-decoration:none; font-weight:bold;' href='http://www.thedailyshow.com/'>The Daily Show With Jon Stewart</a></td><td style='padding:2px 5px 0px 5px; text-align:right; font-weight:bold;'>M - Th 11p / 10c</td></tr><tr style='height:14px;' valign='middle'><td style='padding:2px 1px 0px 5px;' colspan='2'><a target='_blank' style='color:#333; text-decoration:none; font-weight:bold;' href='http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=223862&title=baracknophobia-obey'>Baracknophobia - Obey</a></td></tr><tr style='height:14px; background-color:#353535' valign='middle'><td colspan='2' style='padding:2px 5px 0px 5px; width:360px; overflow:hidden; text-align:right'><a target='_blank' style='color:#96deff; text-decoration:none; font-weight:bold;' href='http://www.thedailyshow.com/'>thedailyshow.com</a></td></tr><tr valign='middle'><td style='padding:0px;' colspan='2'><embed style='display:block' src='http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:item:comedycentral.com:223862' width='360' height='301' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' wmode='window' allowFullscreen='true' flashvars='autoPlay=false' allowscriptaccess='always' allownetworking='all' bgcolor='#000000'></embed></td></tr><tr style='height:18px;' valign='middle'><td style='padding:0px;' colspan='2'><table style='margin:0px; text-align:center' cellpadding='0' cellspacing='0' width='100%' height='100%'><tr valign='middle'><td style='padding:3px; width:33%;'><a target='_blank' style='font:10px arial; color:#333; text-decoration:none;' href='http://www.thedailyshow.com/full-episodes/index.jhtml'>Daily Show<br/> Full Episodes</a></td><td style='padding:3px; width:33%;'><a target='_blank' style='font:10px arial; color:#333; text-decoration:none;' href='http://www.thedailyshow.com/tagSearchResults.jhtml?term=Clusterf%23%40k+to+the+Poor+House'>Economic Crisis</a></td><td style='padding:3px; width:33%;'><a target='_blank' style='font:10px arial; color:#333; text-decoration:none;' href='http://www.indecisionforever.com'>Political Humor</a></td></tr></table></td></tr></tbody></table>Romius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8440857.post-16237450550722755352009-03-08T13:06:00.002-07:002009-03-08T13:11:52.515-07:00Can someone please explain Capitalism to me?I don't understand. We have to give trillions of dollars to keep a system afloat that benefits the few over the many. But the only way the system stays alive is if the many give....<br /><br />We are faced with a real chance to change the world. We are living in a world historic moment. But all we will do is prop up the system again. Until the next crisis.<br /><br />Trillions of dollars.<br /><br />We should be focused on making energy free...<br />We should make every home an energy producer through solar power and recycling. But we won't. <br /><br />We will just give till it hurts so the rich people who run the world can keep running the world because we are so certain there are no alternatives to the mixed economy we have now....<br /><br />We deserve what we get....Romius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8440857.post-45128372238026648962009-02-04T01:20:00.005-07:002009-02-04T02:03:44.072-07:00I write a fan letter to Ricky Gervais, because he has a blog/plus I post pictures of Miley Cyrus' side boob<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmjIQqkvzm4kRMVWoI5d2gBPrVg4lfOcYTr3qwP8zb94yqyeV2hFOPqVwufG3K531XPW5mTo-3CqO0fiutr3GbpSxrmzXDuSlnP05XFuP7zuZO1cSVrgbYqo06vo7GhTI6kQ5dHg/s1600-h/gallery_main-0130_miley_cyrus_dressroom_00.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5298864902491101858" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 267px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmjIQqkvzm4kRMVWoI5d2gBPrVg4lfOcYTr3qwP8zb94yqyeV2hFOPqVwufG3K531XPW5mTo-3CqO0fiutr3GbpSxrmzXDuSlnP05XFuP7zuZO1cSVrgbYqo06vo7GhTI6kQ5dHg/s400/gallery_main-0130_miley_cyrus_dressroom_00.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><div><a href="http://www.rickygervais.com/thissideofthetruth.php">Ricky <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Gervais</span> is one of my favorite comedians. </a></div><br /><div></div><div>Dear Ricky <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Gervais</span>,</div><br /><div>I want to say congratulations to you for having a blog (<em>just like me</em>.) Which I guess means we are a lot more alike than I thought. Like you I am short, chubby, and funny. Unlike you I did not find a way still make lots of money and have a big career. I just have this blog. Which means that I spend my time sitting around my house in my undershirt crying and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">downloading</span> pictures of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Miley</span> Cyrus to my computer.</div><br /><div>I will post pictures of the side boob of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Miley</span> Cyrus on every post I make from now on, or at least as long as I can, and I can't really see any reason not to. (Other than Big Bad Billy Ray <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Cryus</span>.)</div><br /><div>Enjoy the side boobs you monkey perverts. </div><br /><div>P.S.</div><br /><div></div><div>Ricky,</div><br /><div>Did you know that google has not gotten around to spelling your name correctly? I would think that google has a list of all the famous people famous enough that people who don't know how to spell would be able to spell the name if the were smart enough to use google spell check. Well you aren't that famous I guess yet, even though you created the office and extras.</div><div></div><br /><div>I mean I wasn't a big fan of the "original" office. Maybe because it was too <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">British</span>. What the fuck do I know? I hate Monty Python which makes me dead to some <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">people</span>. All I know is I love Extras. I even liked that romantic comedy you made about seeing dead people. So if you are all <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">pissy</span> about me hating on the Office just use all that juice and call <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Gooogle</span> and tell them how to spell your <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">frakin</span>' name all ready.</div><br /><div></div><div>Until then I refuse to spell <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Gooogle's</span> name correctly either.</div><br /><div></div><div>Cheers,</div><br /><div><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Romius</span> T.</div></div>Romius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8440857.post-30421196774112303892009-01-27T04:08:00.007-07:002009-01-27T05:02:30.042-07:00The one about the personal adSo I wrote this devastatingly funny personal ad that I was going to post over at craigslist. Just to gauge things. I am always trying to gauge things. Figure them out. See where I am. I wouldn't need to do this, but my internet girlfriend doesn't take me serious. Why would she? I am not serious. There is nothing serious about me.<br /><br />EXAMPLE:<br /><br />I am driving the truck. I am driving an 18 year old girl home from work. We are talking. We talk about how I need to get the truck washed.<br /><br />"A bird took a crap on my window." I tell her. Then I point to the bird crap. I point to the white stains on my driver's side window.<br /><br />There is a slight pause in the conversation. Like some one is taking time to think. The 18 year old offers up a proposal. "I'll wash your car for 20 dollars."<br /><br />I have no idea why this 18 year old thinks I want her to wash my car for 20 dollars. I can wash the car at the automatic car washer for 5 dollars. They even throw in a free vacuum. I just bought a new towel to dry the truck off after it gets washed.<br /><br />The automatic car washer does a good job with everything except drying. It does not dry the truck completely. That's why I bought the car drying towel. Plus that and it was on clearance at work. I paid 2 dollars for it. The towel is is blue and sticky. It is made out of some kind of strange material from the future. The girl had to move the towel out of the way to sit in the passenger seat. That in and of itself should have been enough of a warning not to suggest such an outrageous fee for washing my car. Clearly I am the kind of guy who can do a bit of manual labor.<br /><br />"Who would pay 20 bucks to have some kid wash the truck for them?"<br /><br />"The only way I am going to pay 20 dollars for a car wash is if I get two girls in bikinis to wash the car."<br /><br />Another pause. Another proposal.<br /><br />"I could get candy to wash the car with kimmie."<br /><br />Those are fake names. Those names are so fake that I am sure they have destroyed whatever ability you previously had to suspend disbelief in this story. I want you to know that I know that. That I know how terrible those fake names are. I want apologize for the fake names, for such bad and terrible fake names. I am sorry that I couldn't even think of anything remotely believable.<br /><br />I tell the 18 year old that she should get the two girls from work that are pregnant to wash the truck. That would be hot. Preggo Car Washers. They should start a business.<br /><br />"Oh no...my water just broke!" The 18 year old makes a joke.<br /><br />"They could wash the car with that." I tell the 18 year old.<br /><br />"You shouldn't say that." The 18 year old says. She objects to my joke. She thinks you should just keep that thought to yourself. "You can't say that out-loud." She chastises me. She knows it is natural to have the thought. She says that she thought the same thing, she just thinks you can't say that kind of thing out loud.<br /><br />"Oh, no." I tell her. "You have to say that kind of thing out loud."<br /><br /><span style="font-size:180%;">BACK TO THE STORY</span><br /><span style="font-size:180%;"></span><br />Instead of posting the personal ad, I sent the e-mail to an online profile I picked at random. Again. Just to gauge things. Just to see if it was funny. If it was interesting. If it was good.<br /><br /><em>What am I doing? I feel guilty. I shouldn't have sent the e-mail. </em><br /><em></em><br />I have no idea if I should feel guilty. Me and the internet girlfriend are not "going out." We are not in a relationship. I mean sure. I did buy her a diamond ring. A huge diamond ring. Maybe 100 carrots. And we will get married one day. Assuming she is foolish enough to say yes. Foolish enough to move to Arizona.<br /><br />The message I sent was not really the personal ad that I was going to write. I ended up sending some (sorta) funny thing that was ignored by the recipient. <br /><br />The original piece was really more like a blog post. I had it all planned out, but I had to go to work. So I lost it. It was good too. One of the best things I have ever written. As funny as anything on Craigslist that gets posted over at Fark.com. It was so damn good it might have gotten me laid.<br /><br />I do remember at one point near the end I go into some tangential point about how I am sick of the "<em>weariness</em>" of women on craigslist.<br /><br />All the women on Craigslist are weary. They are tired. They are looking for something that they can never get. A good man.<br /><br />I remember thinking that I should write a "weary" post too. I am so tired of hearing how weary you are that I would prefer to have a man with the Ebola virus vomit all over me. In the post I was to write I make a descriptive comment about his yellow teeth. I have fucked up the remembrance of this thought. <br /><br />It was shocking and came out of nowhere. Just this vile description of the Ebola virus. How the weariness of craigslist women bothers me like the infection from an ingrown toe nail. Yellow and full of puss. Trickles of blood. <br /><br />The man's face is melting. He is puking in my lap. I see his yellow teeth. I see the steaming hot puke pile on my lap. It collects in my trousers. It soaks through to my skin. I feel wet. I am bathed in the virus. I am drenched in puke.<br /><br />The lesson here for women on Craigslist is that they need not be weary.<br /><br />The other lesson is that <em>puke</em> is not much of a turn on.<br /><br />The final lesson is that some people may insist that your efforts to find new readers by posting blogs faking as personal ads seem to them like a breach of trust. Even if it is not.Romius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8440857.post-64687194092620044362009-01-26T13:58:00.003-07:002009-01-26T14:03:42.963-07:00I am a man of action, full of plansI still write for this blog. Even though I have no idea why. This blog gets 5 hits a day when I am not posting on it. The Karl Marx Blog gets 50 hits a day and I haven't written on it for months.<br /><br />All that is going to change soon. So is the focus of this blog and TKMB. I am going to post random stuff on this blog. I am going to post links and stories, and I am going to write some kind of memoiry blog novella here--in between all the other crap.<br /><br />The Karl Marx blog is going to get a face lift. I am going to get more superficial and less stuffy on it.<br /><br />I hope you enjoy the changes and I hope it makes you decide to come back to this blog and read it again.<br /><br />If not then nothing has really changed anyway.Romius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8440857.post-75631951606351197172009-01-21T14:30:00.004-07:002009-01-21T15:37:53.685-07:00I get hit on from the Philippines<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2BroKK6aBQLEDd4CuqB8d1JTnXOxXSVk2Thwtwr3eD47lcjv-KFvfwdumb28_4w5tQOAnwrUBiLqnWILFhjdzEPRcyvmC-eA1jfbGvH4lR9LY2YKbg1-Zna6WvJp7lkKEpFXxlQ/s1600-h/girl.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5293879394192817410" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 195px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 260px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2BroKK6aBQLEDd4CuqB8d1JTnXOxXSVk2Thwtwr3eD47lcjv-KFvfwdumb28_4w5tQOAnwrUBiLqnWILFhjdzEPRcyvmC-eA1jfbGvH4lR9LY2YKbg1-Zna6WvJp7lkKEpFXxlQ/s400/girl.jpg" border="0" /></a>I know you may find it difficult to believe but I just got a message from a girl who lives in the Philippines. Actually the message wasn't really from the girl who lives in the Philippines, but from her Aunt who lives in Mesa, Arizona and there really wasn't a message, I just noticed that a I got a profile view from someone on one of the many online dating services I signed up for. <div></div><br /><div>Since I never pay for any of the services all I have access to is the free stuff these pay sites offer which is just enough to entice you to pay for something that in fact will be a rip off because no one really hooks up online.</div><div></div><br /><div>The online profile written by the aunt says the girl is 20 and is looking for an online and long distance relationship with a man. The girl's aunt requests that the man must be at least 28 years of age. I guess that is because Asian women like older white guys. And because trips overseas cost real money and in no way are payable from your winnings at World of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Warcraft</span>.</div><div></div><div></div><div><br />The girl is pretty hot. She plays guitar. I think I my have to see if I can bring her over to the United States. Any donations to this site that can get me to the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Philippines</span>, or my new Asian girlfriend over to America will be appreciated!</div>Romius T.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18043032468436393210noreply@blogger.com5