I found the perfect amauter porn clip

There is something appealing about getting drunk in the middle of the day. I think the idea is that if you can get drunk in the middle of the day you might also be able to get laid in the middle of the day.

I have some homemade refried bean tostadas waiting for me in the kitchen. I should take a pass on eating them and walk down to the neighborhood bar. If I don't eat I could get drunk fast and afterward walk over to local porn shop. Like most porn shops you can rent movies there, but in addition to the take home videos the local porn shop I go to has private booths where you can watch porn. The owners don't care if you jack off in those booths.

Porn shop jack-off booths are nothing like coming home to your wife in the middle of the day for a blow job. A wife never stares uncomfortably at the tiny cock hanging out of your shorts like the queers at the front of the porn store do.

The queers hang around the front of the store hoping to spot the "first timers" who by mistake find themselves in one of the first 3 booths. The First Timer has no idea that his booth is connected to other booths by windows that have had the glass broken out by hopeful faeries.

I can't explain why "straights" would pick one of the booths with the connecting windows. I guess they just like all the male companionship of jacking off together. You know. Like in the sixth grade when you used to "build" forts out of blankets. Because of the heat from of all those blankets you would strip down to your underwear and your best friend would run his hard on all over your thigh, which you made okay by just pretending that all your friend wanted to do was build forts with you because he said he wanted to be in the military like his dad.

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This amateur porn clip has it all. The star is an old, fat, hairy, white guy with a small cock. He "comes" in under a minute.

The other star of the clip is the fat disinterested wife.

This couple looks like most of the couples that shop at my grocery store.

The best thing about the clip? EVERYTHING!

The clip starts out showing an obviously drunk and obese middle aged woman. The TV is blaring at her. She sips a drink of her 22 ounce "Full Throttle" energy drink.

The chubby naked husband strolls over to the wife. His cock in full glory at a good 2 or 3 inches. The wife looks at the cock. She can't believe this tiny thing needs to be sucked off to cum.

For the time period from 28 seconds to 45 seconds you can tell she is just phoning in the BJ. But that all changes around 45 seconds. She sucks him good for a few seconds. All it takes is 4 to be exact. After all that attention the husband only needs to jack off for a few more seconds more to come on her face.

The really loving part of the "Lunch Time Blow Job" finale is how the wife runs her face through the husbands cum by shaking her head side to side.

It's the LOVE that makes Amateur Porn great!

Why fat chicks love sex more than you

I was told I was fat because I have lifestyle issues not because, "it is in my DNA." Life style issues? I don't know what that guy is talking about. I don't have any life style "issues." I like my lifestyle. I have been drinking coke and surfing the net all day. I drove to McDonald's for lunch so I could buy a Big Mac Meal because they have their Monopoly promotion on again.

I have to say that buying Big Macs is a great investment strategy right now with the Stock Market in the tubes and all. For 7 dollars I got a large Bic Mac meal and two bags of ice. The super sized Big Mac meal came with 6 free chances to win a prize, so I feel like I am finally on the road to financial recovery.

Friday my work reissued my lost payroll check. I cashed it and took all the money to 7-11 to pay my electric bill. The kiosk took all my money, but it did not credit my account. I called the customer service number and they promised me that the money is going to be credited soon. "Maybe Wednesday or Thursday." The operator said. I told her that was kinda shady and she told me to stop eating chocolate graham crackers and cola after eating a Big Mac for lunch. I wanted to tell her to mind her own business, but she has a point. I'm fat. And because I am fat I promised to tell you the secreet to why fat chicks love sex. I will, but hang on for a second. I'm not done talking about me yet.

I need to buy a tire, because I got a flat the other day. I think the tire is going to cost me a hundred bucks. I haven't made a truck payment to Card Shard this month. I need to do that this week, or at least at some point this month. I need to shop around for cheaper car insurance, because 120 dollars a month is too much to pay for a 2001 truck.

I do have some good news on the finance side. I have not received the bill for the internet which means I can still blog at home for you before I go to work. I won 280 dollars at poker last night. My share is 140 dollars and with it I can buy a new tire even if Walmart refuses to honor the warranty Card Shark says he has on the flat.

I have 21 minutes before I need to get ready for work and I am down to my last chocolate graham cracker cookie and I have not even started all the research I need to do in order to deliver to you my newest report on why fat chicks love sex so much.

My initial hypothesis is an extension of an earlier theory I had on why the retarded love sex so much. If the mentally retarded are going to survive in the world they need to reproduce at a higher rate than the non-retarded. That is why evolution equips the retarded with an almost insatiable curiosity for sex. The retarded are constantly playing with themselves and dry humping unsuspecting visitors anytime some one knocks at the door.

I am not sure about "legally," but ethically you can't rape a retard because they love sex so much. I am pretty sure the same thing goes for fat chicks. If you have ever had sex with a fat chick then you know how grateful they are for penatration. FAt Chicks loves cock and even though you have heard the rumors that fat chicks gobble down all day on your rod because they are woried you will leave them for a skinny chick, I am telling you to skip the foreplay and go straight to the fucking.

As soon as you put it in a Fat chick she will scream like you are cutting through her with a chainsaw. I don't know about you, but I like a loud fuck. I like it when the girl bucks and screams your name and claws your back and begs you to put it in "deeper."

I did some research on the internet and by research I mean I watched a lot of fat chick porn on the internet. You know that I review amatuer porn clips but that I can never find a site that lets me embed the clips. I figured out why. I forgot that the best web site for embedding porn clips is Red Tube. Here is a fat chick. They look limber when they bang you.

I review porn clips and I make racist/sexist comments

There is something liberating about being covered up in a burka and having a man dominate and control every aspect of your life. You don't know anything about that because you live in a country full of men who don't feel the need to slap you around every time you go and get the menses, or stone you to death if you leave the house on your own.

I guess that's why when middle eastern chicks finally get to fuck they go all crazy and ask their man to bury his face in your ass. I know all this because I was watching porn last night and the porn was an amateur clip of Arabs fucking. Either that or they were Mexicans. But I am leaning towards Jordanians because it helps with the jokes.

MY REVIEW OF :
Mi Ex-novia TANYA.. me la cojo rico (I guess they were mexican)

This chick likes fucking and I can't think of a thing I like better in a girl than a girl into fucking. You never see passion from the professional girls like Tanya has. I think she must be really into this guy. Notice how she is hugging and licking the guys chest and thighs as she blows him. This licking and kissing is not the kind of perfunctory variation of tease from cock to thigh that you see in the regular porn. This girl is really desperate. She wants to consume him.

Tanya wears a g-string straight out of 1990, but since she is foreign I think she pulls it off. She is cute. Thin. But if you noticed the strange green bruises on her thigh then you weren't alone. I assume as a Mexican she can't afford to eat meat so she is probably just a little anaemic.

I am not really sure as to why Tanya likes to fuck this guy. He has a really small penis. I like to watch movies where the men have small penises, but can really please a women. I will have you know it is not because I have a small penis. I have to stop making small penis jokes now that I have an internet girlfriend.

Inexplicably in the middle of this porn clip they stop fucking to take a phone call. She then performs oral sex on mr. tiny while discussing the latest price on tortillas or the ending of some sappy novella or whatever the hell mexican women discuss in that funny little language of theirs.

I know earlier in this post I was suggesting that muslim women are freed to be sexual dynamos because they live in a culture that exploits and degrades them. I think the same thing must go for the mexicans. I can't imagine why else Tanya would exclaim in such excitement every time she gets pounded by her b/f/. He certainly can't be getting that deep to set off any rockets.

My guess is that she feels so cloistered by society that sex with her man is the only time she feels she is allowed by him to exert any free will. I think that is what makes repressed chicks so good to fuck once you get them over all their hang ups. Clearly Tanya is done with having hang ups.

I found the clip over at YouPorn. (Do I need to tell you not safe for work?) I would have embedded the video, but the submitter has disabled that function. Also, I am not so sure I want to be labeled as a porn blog which I am sure Google would do if I embedded a few clips of people showing some physical affection towards each other.

No commenting is allowed on this clip due to the submitter and that is a shame as the comments on YouPorn are almost always more entertaining than the clips themselves. I know you will be disappointed in my choice of porn videos I chose to review for the first time, since you can't see the video while you read my review. And because I insist on telling you how funny the comments are on You Porn and I chose to use a clip that did not provide us any. But if you have read this blog for any lenght of time you get used to me doing shit like that, don't you?