This Week in Living the Dream is Stephanie Ragusa's Smile

A few days ago I decided I was going to write a blog post entry every day for the next 30 days in each of my blogs. Well at least Self Help and here at Bathos. I have already failed. But that won't get me to quit trying.

Below is a picture of pedophile Stephanie Ragusa's Smile . I guess she looks harmless. But looks can be deceiving. If Stephanie does not look familiar to you, perhaps her story will. She was alleged to have sex with a boy in her middle school class. She got arrested and busted again while on parole for having sex with the minor again. In total she was arrested 3 times. Each time she gives the camera that creepy smile.

I was gonna quote some Nietzsche to get you to understand you can't really "know" people sometimes as they have a grasp on reality or some kind of a moral character you can't understand. But who needs 19th century philosophy when we have Shauna, a commentator, from the article on Tampa Bay online:

Posted by ( Shauna ) on April 29, 2008 at 7:57 p.m. ( Suggest removal )
I see someone who has their own code and mores, which are quite separate and different from the mainstream. This can happen among the highly intelligent. Just my 2c.

Shauna's thoughts are worth a heck of a lot more than two cents. Like Shauna I am so thankful I am highly intelligent. I know I am highly intelligent because I read my Myers-Briggs profile. I am an INFP. And it says we are all highly intelligent.

According to the INFP profile at similar minds I am "smart."

I am also:

attracted to sad things, disorganized, avoidant, can be overwhelmed by unpleasant feelings, prone to quitting, prone to feelings of loneliness, ambivalent of the rules, solitary, daydreams about people to maintain a sense of closeness, focus on fantasies, acts without planning, low self confidence, emotionally moody, can feel defective, prone to lateness, likes esoteric things, wounded at the core, feels shame, frequently losing things, prone to sadness, prone to dreaming about a rescuer, disorderly, observer, easily distracted, does not like crowds, can act without thinking, private, can feel uncomfortable around others, familiar with the darkside, hermit, more likely to support marijuana legalization, can sabotage self, likes the rain, sometimes can't control fearful thoughts, prone to crying, prone to regret, attracted to the counter culture, can be submissive, prone to feeling discouraged, frequently second guesses self, not punctual, not always prepared, can feel victimized, prone to confusion, prone to irresponsibility, can be pessimistic


I don't think I am "emotionally" moody. Maybe I am moody, but I have no idea what emotionally is supposed to mean there.

My attempt at Miley Cyrus porn fan fiction

Miley Cyrus' skin is far more freckled up close than you would think. She pouts her lips at you and she makes funny faces whenever you tell her something she disagrees with, like that her Dad used to be way famous before her, and that women think he's sexy even with the mullet haircut.

Miley wants me to do an interview with Barbara Walters. Miley wants me to dispel rumors that I get money from doing interviews about her.  Barbara will pay us 1 million dollars for the interview.

I told Miley from the moment I met her that I would never take a dollar from her. I even signed agreements that exclude the possibility of me making any money out of our relationship.

"I don't really see an upside here for me, Miley."

"Everybody thinks it's a good idea." Everybody is the lawyers and the lawyers are scared shitless that I am ruining Miley's career. I tell Miley that I will come off looking like the creepy old guy who just wants to Britney Spears her ass and get to the money.

Miley reminds me that she is an adult now.

"I'm 18. And I am totally legal. We met after I turned 18 so I don't see how you are doing anything wrong. I know you aren't some kind of pedophile."  She says.

Miley is young enough to be my daughter. I'm 41 years old, so I am just a few years younger than her father. Her father is not pleased about our age difference. Though I am sure some small part of him wonders what he did wrong. Maybe bath time with daddy lasted too long, maybe old Billy Ray should put a towel on after getting out of the pool. Either way, I refuse to spank her and I never let her call me daddy in public. Billy Ray is 6 foot giant of a man and could kick my ass.

Barbara Walters is old. I am not sure what kind of lighting they use to disguise her appearance on TV but it takes 6 men and boxes of equipment to do it. The men take 3 hours to set up the shot, they place me next to Miley on a love sofa.

We had the interview at Miley's place even though I don't live with Miley. I have my own place I tell Barbara, "I even have a job and car. I can take care of myself. Not always well, like a lot of working people in this country, I don't think the policies of the current administration are helping the middle class, but I just want the American public to know that I am not using Miley for her fame or fortune."

I felt good about getting that shot off against the president and his policies, maybe something good can come from this after all.

I am not exactly sure when I started to cry during the interview. I'd like to think that is was at least halfway through it, but some of my crueler friends point out that you can see tears streaming down my cheek almost right away. I guess I was nervous.

"Did you want to do this interview?" Barbara asks. Barb does her homework. She must have someone on the inside, because Miley and me had our first and only real argument over me doing the interview.

"To be honest," I tell Barbara "not really."

"I am going to come off a bit paranoid in this part, but you'd be paranoid too. I have lawyers and publicists that tell me what to. They tell me how to answer your questions without really answering your questions. They tell me to deflect. I think that's the key word they used, "deflect." I found the publicist at didyoufuckup? dot com, and I paid them 19.99 a month for advice. I am pretty sure the website simply copies and pastes from Public Speaking 101 text books, but I don't have a lot of money to spend on things like that. I've got bills like normal people. I get 163 death threats a day. I don't think people understand that."

I think I just broke the first rule of not looking like your paranoid. I try to continue, "One day Miley could get bored with me. And when she does..." Miley nudges me with her elbow, because she gets pissed when I tell her I am just some passing fad with her, that she will grow bored with me. We have almost fights when I tell her how she has an opportunity to meet "anybody and everybody, the famous and the talented, and I can't compete with that."

Miley does her best to calm my anxiety attacks at these moments. She tells me how special I am to her, and how I make her feel, and that no one has ever made her feel the way I make her feel. Most of the times this calms me down, but when I think about it later I realize that my being with Miley is purely dependent on her emotional state and connectedness with me. I have nothing else to anchor her to me. As soon as her teenage hormones calm down I will be on my way out.

"And then I will have to go back to my normal life. Or what I mean is, I will still need to be able to have a regular life. I could get fired from my job for coming on this interview and talking about my relationship. It's going to be hard out there for me now. I don't want to be famous!"

I was basically pleading with Barbara by this point.

"Phillip McCracken is an asshole! He's the most popular podcaster and radio host of all time. And he is making my life miserable."

"All he does is spread rumors on his talk show about how he thinks he should be with Miley and not me and how old I am and how creepy I am."

I ask her, "But have you seen his Myspace page? Gimme a break the guy is totally creepier than me!"

Mom finds hero asleep in bed of 14 year old after girl leaves for school

Some days I don't like getting out of bed. I'll just lay there all day. I try to think of reason to get up. I usually can't. If I need to go to work, I can get up for that. But the whole time I am getting ready I chant how "I hate my life." When I don't have to go to work I just stay inside and watch Netflix all day. In the last month I've had 19 movies delivered to me, and I've watched 18 movies instantly overt the Internet. If you add the blog and podcast to all this excitement I think you can see how I have a full life, and I have no need for marriage or a sex life.

I know you don't care how lazy I am. I am tyring to give you advice on how not to live. If you have a chance to live the dream, don't fuck it up like 27 year old Eric Gahagen did. After driving 1500 miles to bang his new underage girlfriend, he decides to take a lazy nap in her room. Bad idea Eric. Don't be lazy like me.

"Gahagen allegedly climbed into the girl’s second-floor bedroom window and hid there for more than 24 hours . . . until good old mom walked in on him sleeping in her bed. Cops also say that Gahagen claims he thought the girl was 20, yet failed to say anything when she had to leave for school. "

What? College chicks go to class, and college girls love Strawberry Shortcake lunch boxes. I hear prison is fun for lazy people who like to nap and read all day. If I could get the internet and the special "no anal penetration" wing, I could sign up for this prison thing.

I'm not a pedophile, I just play one on the internet

I have a hard time getting a date. The closest thing I have had to a date this year is a text message from a 17 year old. The text message read "I'm a vampire and I need blood." I think that is some kind of code, but I'm not sure for what. I think maybe my under age text message girl friend is involved in some kind of blood cult. She probably wants to seduce me, and steal all my blood for her vampire husband. Well unlike you perverts, I am not at all down for that kind of shit. I'm old, and so is my blood. I can't afford give any of it away, because I think my rectum is bleeding now that I am eating all that yogurt fiber and apples. Either that or the peels of red deelicious apples don't get digested. Since I don't eat apples very often I can't be for sure what I found in my toilet paper. Either way you can't be too careful.

You can't be too careful. That's a saying some of you more advanced Chomo's need to take to heart. Like if you are convicted sex offender over the age of 25 don't go bringing your high school g/f to the prom, even if she asks.

ATHENS, Ala. — A convicted sex offender remained jailed Tuesday after the 25-year-old man, posing as a teenager, was caught taking a 14-year-old girl to a dance at her middle school, Athens authorities said.

Athens Middle School faculty members stopped Gregory Ray Brooks at the gym door because he appeared to be much older than his date at the Friday dance, Athens Superintendent Orman Bridges Jr. said.

"He didn't look like the 17-year-old he said he was," Bridges said. "The faculty did an excellent job of monitoring who was coming in and catching this guy. They kept him from other students and maybe helped this young lady out of a bad situation."