Ninja World Movement Alert

World Control has become aware of a massive deployment of Ninjas.

Angola has entered into the collective unconscious of this blog by sending 2500 of its deadly Ninjas to attack Zimbabwe.

Angola sends 2500 'ninjas' to Zimbabwe - World - smh.com.au

The move was called "normal" and "unnewsworthy" by Zimbabwean authorities. We at World Control know better.

Ask me why I hate Ninjas

You guys aren't going to believe this. The single worst podcast ever was nominated as one of Itunes favorites.

This just goes to show you that Apple doesn't have a fucking clue.

I seriously invite all 3 of my readers to click on over to Mr. Ninja and ask him just how the hell he has the nerve to don his costume and sully the good name of every ninja out there.

Better yet just go over and click on any random post. If you make it through an entire show your head will explode. And you will be banned here for life.

This might be the worst day of my life. I always assumed every blogger needed an enemy. Why did I have to pick one that was so powerful? Now that AskaNinja boy has corporate backing I fear for my life. I am sure Apple has a way of spying on me from my Ipod. They are probably giving AskaNinja my GPS as we speak.

If you don't hear from me everyday call the cops on him.

I suck

At least that's what I have been told by a ninja. And if a ninja says you suck. Then you probably do suck. Ninjas don't lie. They just sneak up on you when you are least suspecting it and slash your throat.

Sometimes they stay and watch as the blood they spill gushes out on to the ground. I think some Ninjas get off on that. Not all of 'em mind you, but enough do that it gives the whole lot of them a bad name.

I've been a bit depressed again lately. I just read some of my old posts and none of them were very funny. I felt like giving up on my novel.

And after reading this post by the adorable Tweeker Chick and seeing how great it was and how it was like nothing I'd ever wrote. Well you can bet all my insecurities, doubts, and feelings about my usefulness were pretty much confirmed by all the attention she was getting.

I suck. I am not the cute 24 year old who sleeps on the wet spot for you. I keep losing my hair and gaining weight because I can't face waking up every morning without pounding down at least a few 2 liters of coke a cola.

I know that Ask A Ninja is a religious studies student. If I commit suicide because of his meanness do you think he will too? Cuz, it would be totally worth it if he would die. Or do you think his "ninja" side would just rationalize my death as dignified in the Samurai tradition?

Cuz if I am dead there is no way in hell I want that damn ninja to go on living.

Hugs and Cuddles

Romius T.

This post is dedicated to George Clooney's fine work on the Facts of Life.