Hey Y'all computer is still down!

That's right
So you have missed
out on me yelling
a lot about
the supermodel
who survived the tsunami.

It made her a "better person."

I'm glad it took nearly getting killed, a few hundred thousands deaths, death of her fiance and the ruined lives of a few million people
to wake up a s skinny, hot, rich, supermodel and
get her to appreciate life.

I think she can now live life one day at a time.

I wonder if the Holocaust was for Paris, but just missed her birth by 40 years or so.

Three Little Words

Those three little words will get you into a lot of trouble in life. First, she will look up at you and say the words like she means it. Her mouth will part. Those sweet little red lips will move. They will tell you to do things. Things you would not do yourself. Those lips of hers move and then you find yourself burying bodies in the desert.

"I love you."

She stares straight into your eyes and you believe. She has on bright red lipstick and perfect white teeth to match. Her blonde spiral perm is blowing in the wind. She kisses at your bottom lip and then your chin. She moves the shovel out from in between you and presses against you.

"I bet you want me to dig this." You think in your mind. It's best to keep thoughts like that to yourself. After all you are burying little dead grey aliens in the Arizona desert. You hardly need anything else dramatic going on.

"After we're done I am going to show you Flagstaff, you'll love it." She tells you. You've been to Flag before and hung out at her old college sports bar and you didn't think it was such a big deal.

Are you going to remind her that that she's taken you there before? No. That would be a bad idea. The last time you were there another girl had tried to get your attention by standing in front of you and the big screen. And Rhonda got pissed. Made a big scene. Rhonda threatened to kick that girls ass. You had to plead with Rhonda to leave. That it was no big deal. That the girl had a big ass and you were in no way interested in her.

Rhonda was a bit nuts. Which is probably the reason you are standing 2 feet deep in a hole that you've been digging in for the last hour. The heat is killing you. The sun is near set, but it's still at least 96 degrees out.

Rhonda must be nervous, because she is chain smoking. Rhonda always chains smokes whenever she gets nervous. She's sitting in the jeep with the door open. Cigarette after cigarette. She's opened the door so you can hear the music playing. Rhonda thinks the radio will may you digg faster. If Metallica wants to hop out of the jeep and pick up a shovel- things might go faster. Otherwise this is going to be slow. You are not prepared for all this physical activity, even after all the fucking you've been doing lately.

I can't think of two clever ways of telling you I have no access to the Internet. My computer is broke. And it's not even my computer. --No I did not break it. One day after a trip Vegas it simply had a message on the screen about windows 32 file being bad. It wants windows to be reinstalled. I think. But I am not going to mess another person's computer.

I hope to return to the Internet soon, so that I can to attend to you, my rabid collection of wounded ducks.

Stay Freaky.

Cuddles.

Romius T.

Bathos WIKI

I've had this idea for a while. I wanted one of my readers to start a Wikipedia entry for me. So the rest of the world could find out about me. But I think Wikipedia is difficult to edit. You would have to sign up to post an entry. I know you won't do that.

My readers are lazy. Most of you don't even click my hyperlinks. I know this because I keep track of your visits with special software. I don't just warn you about the Surveillance Society, I actively particiapte in it. I can't even imagine life without caller i.d. anymore.

Maybe I should just encourage all my readers to write up Wiki posts about me that I can post right here on Bathos. Then you would not have to sign up for anything. The best WIKI entries about Romius T would be heavily opinionated diatribes about the minutia of this blog or The Self Help Center.

You could fill the blog with footnotes. Because we all know that post-modern meta aware fiction is loaded with made up footnotes. I suggest this only because my readers are the best blog writers out in cyber-land and I think you guys could have some fun with it. Also I won't have to write as much.

CyberLand. Sounds like some kind of Kinky adult chat room.

Cuddles.

Romius T.

I want to buy Dale Rippy a beer!

And I would make sure that I used that new Sam Adams beer glass. The beer glass is supposed to make beer taste even better. I don't think that is even possible. Another thing I never figured was possible was for a 62 year old man to defend himself against a rabies infested bobcat. But Dale Rippy did.

Dale Rippy (great name) is my new hero. He found himself in a battle, rabid bobcat vs. senior citizen. And he came out on top!

"A resident of Wesley Chapel, Florida, was pulling trashcans back to his house May 30 when he saw what he thought was a large cat. After realizing the animal was actually a bobcat, he set the trashcans down and prepared for an attack."

Boy did he.

“I started choking it when got a good hold,” he said. “I choked it ‘til he died. I got scratched up pretty good.”

Way to go old timer.

I love my McJob

Mc Donald's would like you to forget that they offer only low skill low paying jobs with few perks or benifits. They've even re-started an old attempt to get the dictionary to re-define the word McJob as something I guess we would all want to do.

I can't speak for Douglas Copeland, but I am pretty god damn pissed off about that. But no matter how pissed I was I figured no way in hell anybody is going to buy that idea from McDonald's I was wrong.

I was watching TV last night. There is a TV in the kitchen. I was making a grilled cheese sandwich. On TV was an all black situation comedy. I don't know how I was watching UPN. Maybe some kind of poltergeist was fucking with me.

At one point in the sitcom a women meets a man for a blind date. She finds out he works at Mickey D's. Before she protest he interrupts her. He gives her the corporate spill about how great it is to work at McDonald's. That one day he will own a few franchises and he will be rich. It won't be long before he can spread the bling bling.

Now I will have to admit to being a bit too white here. I can't recall the name of TV show. Or even what the situation of the show was. I do remember there may have been a couple of hot white girls on the show. Does anyone know what show I am talking about?

How about my minority friends. You guys probably watch this kind of crap. If it helps the girl talking to the Mickeys guy was in a relationship with another regular on the show, but she was trying to get him jealous. I really want to get this article digged, so I am going to need more facts. I want to expose the corruption of Mickeys, UPN, and shitty Hollywood writers who can sell out their souls for a few bucks.

I mean it's not like I would blog about thenew Police album for 10 bucks from pay per post .com

Why I Hate Danielle Dax and the Hipster Record Store Bitch that got me to buy her album

When I was a lot younger I used to buy a lot of new music. Then I discovered UFO. Since my discovery of the worlds greatest rock band I don't buy any other kind of music.

But there was a time when I did buy new music. I went out searching for it. I was young and impressionable. What I am saying here is that I was easy pickings for any cute record store worker with an agenda.

I met one worker with such an agenda. She must have been a Fem-Nazi and not just a hipster. Dax is known for calling powerful men "mean people." And by "powerful men" I mean record company executives who decided her music sucked. And I suppose the rest of the world, because her last album was called:

Comatose Non Reaction: The Thwarted Pop Career of Danielle Dax

And this recommendation for an obscure avantegarde artist came after I mentioned I like MSG and Queensrÿche. I took the Nazi-hipster's suggestion and to this day I regret it.

You need to hear this crazy women yourself.



Just for comparisons sake check out my favorite band in 1985. At least I think it is 1985. The only original band member I can spot is the lead singer, Phil Mogg. A review of the album they are promoting on this UK TV show suggested that it sounded worse than Karaoke.

"Wow. I'm stunned by how much I dislike this mid-80's offering by the once mighty UFO. It's more like Phil Mogg doing karaoke to some rejected Starship backing tracks. Sissy sounding eighties keyboards wash over everything and the guitar is treated like an afterthought."

And that review came from a FAN of UFO. Now push Play. If you dare.



The last video is a very rare live performance of one of my top 5 favorite songs from the "classic" period. The classic period included Micheal Schenkner. The classic period is regarded as the best by UFO fans though the "early years" features some great stuff that is highly underrated. The song featured on the video "Space Rock" was never given the kind of respect it deserved. Space Child marks a transition from the Space Rock of the "early years" to the Hard Rock and Metal of the "classic period."

What is so awesome about this song is the remarkable restraint and subtlety you find in it. Much of that subtlety is lost in the poor video quality of this video.