Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Birthday Boy Blog

Yesterday was my birthday. I am fucking old. I am 34 in real life. 30 on Match.com and any other personal ad sites. And I am 19 on my.space or whenever I hit on the teenagers.

It's my birthday and on my birthday I try and find and use as many free things as I can that are given out by Corporate America. I used my free movie pass from Harkins to see the worst film ever...National Treasure. I walked out half way through it.

Certainly there has never been a more unintentionally ironic title than... "National Treasure" ..it's certainly no treasure. I could not even sit through the whole movie and it was free. I then bought myself a Volvo 740 from the year of my graduation (1989) and a baseball hat.

My friends took me out to a couple of bars and got me drunk.

Some of my friends think it's really funny to ask fat chicks to come up and give me a kiss on the cheek [they never fail to do so either.] Funny quote after the kiss.

Fat Girl: "I will be right back."
She then returns with a piece of cake , instead of her plump friend for a threesome.

Friend: Where did she get the cake from?
Me: Umm, she's a fat girl they always have cake on them.

We spent the rest of the night leaving fake calls on Gary "baba boey's" voicemails all night.


Jezebelsriot said...

Fat girls do always have cake. It's on reserve for that gullible, lonely and desperate birthday boy.

Happy Birthday

romiustexis said...

Damn Sneaky fat chicks!!