Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I don't even know why I write this blog

I wasn't going to repeat the title of this post in the first sentence, but I don't know why I write on this blog anymore. If I knew how to combine both of these blogs into one I would do it in a heart beat.

I just wrote a long attack piece against the enemies of democracy. I spent almost 2 hours writing that answer to Mark Greggs ridiculous email. But I get no love for it. That's because I only have one follower on Bathos and I am certain only 3 or 4 of the people who read the Self Help center read this blog too.

I have to tell you if you are taking the time to read every single post I make on the Self Help Center you need to be reading this blog too. Think of it as the same damn blog only with the occasional video or film review. It's like getting twice as many of my posts if you were just reading Self Help by itself.

Just to give you a reason to read this blog more often I will update Bathos readers on my phone situation. My phone works now. It was pretty easy to get the phone activated. I just had to dial *288 or something and it all worked it's way out. I don't have any idea why LEtsTalk did not include a sheet of paper with my package telling me what to do. It would save them a lot of money. I would not have to call them to have them tell me something so simple.

LEtsTalk also told me that Verizon should be able to give me my discount and that since I have verizon I have my in-calling all set up so it is all good. Now I just have to figure out how to get my refund of out them and all will be right with the world. I guess I would recommend getting a phone from letstalk if you avoid the refund phones. They have lots of deals without the refund and if you are looking for a phone and and they have it cheaper I would not scare you away from getting it with them. Just realize you are signing an agreement not to terminate with them or you will get a 250 charge on top of the 200 dollar charge that your provider will most likely have. That can add up.

Romius T,

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Mark Gregg is the new "Joe the Plumber."

I get e-mails all the time from the right wing of this country. The latest one going around comes from some guy who likes to call himself, Mark, "I am not a racist I am just calling you an angry black man" Gregg.

Mark writes a letter (you might want to read the letter before reading this post!) where he declares that "I am respectfully providing you with seven simple reasons why I could never vote for you."

He starts the letter out very respectfully by pointing out the fact that Barrack is not "the messiah." Classy. Real classy. I am sure none of Gregg's readers infer the connection to Obama being the Anti-Christ. I am sure Gregg is not inflaming the apocalyptic temper of the religious nut jobs who can't wait for the end of times.

Gregg then proceeds to enumerate the reasons for not voting for Obama.

Reason # 1

Obama picked an experienced, smart, worldly Senator who is known on both sides of the aisle to be a "decent family man and not an Arab." (Actual John McCain quote about Barrack Obama).

Gregg would like us to believe that Obama is a "hypocrite" because Obama campaigned on the mantra of change. And then Obama went and picked himself a liberal, inside-the-beltway Senator.

I sure don't understand the criticism. I guess the confusion occurs to Greg and this years spate of Republicans easily because none of them seem to know what the Vice President does. The Vice President does not run things. That will be the Presidents job.


Well we know Dick Cheney doesn't know what the VP does. He has been running the show in Washington for the last 8 years. I don't know that even a hard core Republican could dispute that. If you want to dispute that fact, try watching The DARK SIDE. I know it comes from PBS. But just watch it anyway.

Of course Sarah Palin famously does not know what the VP does. She has been asked that question 3 or 4 times by reporters and she still has not given the correct answer.

I know you Republicans love to make up the rules as you go, but the Constitution to the Unites States of America provides the only legitimate delineation of the powers and scope of the office of the Vice Presidency. I did not read in the Constitution where the VP could get all hockey mom in the Senate and make policy changes. I think you get to Vote if there is a tie or something. Yeah, I seem to remember that.

The rebuttal point (to point number one) from Gregg is that the President will be making decisions, not the VP. Unless Dick Cheney is still VP. Because of some kind of economic crisis that allows the Executive to order the cancelling of the vote. But that could not happen. I mean it's not like Bush signed an executive order giving him permission to do that. Oh. I guess he did. No worries. I am sure that won't happen.

The rest of paragraph has nothing to do with reasons not to vote for a Democrat. The rest of the paragraph deals with why Obama has attacked Sara Palin. Even though Sara is hot and totally awesome with her "maverickiness" and her "gettin' all them quagmires out of the Alaska" and all.

Gregg states that Obama has "slammed" the McCain ticket over the choice of Palin as VP because "she is NOT a Washington insider."

No. The Obama campaign has slammed the choice of Governor Hockey Mom "If it moves I shoot it" because of her lack of experience, because she is an ultra-right wing religious nut job that is rabidly opposed to abortion rights-but supports a witch hunting preacher, because she seems dumb, and because she "looks out at her back door in Alaska" and sees the floating head of Putin. I worry. I worry that Palin makes George W. Bush look like a Mensa member.

Reason #2

Reason number 2 starts out with a lie. Greg falsely claims that "Obama has single most liberal voting record in the senate." I'm sorry. That statement is so blatantly misleading, and such an obvious lie, that only an ignoramus could miss it. Mr. Obama is no where near the most liberal Democrat. I wonder how our dear Ted Kennedy would feel about being considered less liberal than Barrack. Or perhaps Mark forgets the dearly departed Paul Wellstone. Other than the National Review (which now admits to flaws in their study) Obama is ranked as the 10th most liberal Senator in the US Senate.

"This indicates to me and others like me that you may very well be an angry black man seeking to punish our country for sins of a different generation."


"I am not racist."


Just being a liberal means you can be labeled angry? And I guess being very liberal really just means what that you are an ANGRY BLACK MAN. I have to ask Mark. Why did you say ANGRY BLACK MAN? You could have said an angry man, an angry liberal, but you didn't you said an ANGRY BLACK MAN.

I mean let's not even cover the fact that you assume all liberals to be "angry." That's just silly. Are all Conservatives angry? Maybe you mean radicals and not liberals. I don't know. Are all radicals angry? I guess you would say so. But I still don't see the reason you mention that he is an angry BLACK man. Maybe he is just "upset."*

*Being upset over injustice might be a good thing. Let's think of it as the opposite of being apathetic. Oh, I am sorry about the footnotes. I hate footnotes too!

I mean I know why I might mention that he was an angry black man. Angry black people scare me too. I mean I know that black people have a lot to be angry about with slavery and all. I guess you could add Jim Crow laws and segregation. If you were a Republican you could even add the soft bigotry of low expectations from liberals and I think what you called "the veil of self-imposed prejudicial bondage."* I don't know what that is, but it does not sound like something I want. I was glad to hear that after your family met you they were able to 'de-cloak' themselves from the misty veils of self sabotage and false consciousness.

*You can't go stealing ideas like False Consciousness around a Marxist like me without at least some kind of attribution. I mean Karl Marx thought of that first. Let's give my man his due. MmK? Just another quick question Mark, just how is it you know about False Consciousness since it is a totally communist bit of propaganda? Did you go to college?

So I guess Black people have a lot to be angry about. Probably not as much as American Indians. But we took all their land and killed them just so we wouldn't have to think about them.

It was not enough for Mark to call Barack Obama an "angry black man." He had to call Mrs. Obama an angry black woman. Mark is mad because Michelle Obama forgot how we saved the world from the Nazis.

For the record, I want to say that I too am glad that we killed the Nazis. Also, I think we should only look back at American history and talk about the good parts. We should skip all the bad stuff that might speak to an "angry black person" so that when she speaks about being proud of America (as a black person**) that all of us getting past our prejudices and electing a black man might just be one of the greatest accomplishments this country has ever achieved, (not better than going to the Moon) and we could hold that shit over Europe for a long time, because even though Euro's will elect a woman (god I hope not here!) they sure as shit won't vote a blacky in.

Nah. We should just stick to admonishing anyone who doesn't whitewash* our view of history. I say love it or leave it baby. Stop trying to make us better, I like America the way it is.

* Pun intended.

** get it? she was saying "as a black woman" there ain't much to be proud about a country that had you in chains, but then she said she could be real proud of how we white folk turned it around by taking the Obamas so serious like. that was mighty nice of her (also mighty uppity of her.)


I like reason number three the most because you claim "the bible" (though you don't tell us 'which' bible or even what part of the bible) says that poor people should starve to death.

I looked it up and I think you might be right* on this one.

*Bible says lots of funny things. Like I wonder if your wife was a virgin when you married her. If she wasn't I will gladly help you to stone her to death so that you can get back in God's good graces. Oh, I might add that I looked it up and you are wrong. Jesus says that you need to give me all your money, carry my coat, and let me slap you in the face. And if you don't like me making fun of Jesus then you have to forgive me, cuz Jesus said so.


In question 4 you bring up the Reverend Rick Warren. You say that he isn't a Reverend? Can I still call him that?

Mark in reason number 4 then you mention something about pay grades and I can only guess that was to show off all your expertise on obscure federal labor rules regarding pay scales and seniority. I have read your point a few times and frankly I am as confused by it as I am confused by doing my own taxes.

Either way I am not too sure that the President of the United States needs to be able to articulate a position on the metaphysical existence of the soul in clumps of cells the size of a period.

But I guess people like you really need that. What you are really saying in your cowardly bureaucratic jargon is that abortion is wrong. I get that. But just say it. Abortion is wrong. Abortion is murder. Kill the killers.

I mean I know that you know that Laura Bush had a secret abortion (I read about it on the internets) and you also know that most people don't want to outlaw abortion-even if they think it is despicable or immoral. I think you might even know that Obama is pro-choice and has never wavered in his support of choice. I am not exactly sure where the secrete agenda is that you have found hidden in Barrack's refusal of Warren's gamesmanship. But I am sure it has something to do with implanting the mark of the beast in every newborn child's hand.

Can I just say that I think Warren is fat. I don't know why his fat bothers me and my own does not. Maybe because I blame the media or giant corporations for all the ills of the world that happen to me and I blame Rick Warrens fat on gluttony which I heard was a sin punishable by stoning.


Reason number 5 brings up the Nazis again. Mark suggests that Obama's defining characteristic is one of appeasement. Mark says that we can't have no appeasement like back in 1932 or whatever because appeasement was what got us that no good Hitler.

I will again say to any who will listen that I don't like Hitler. I especially thought his treatment of Jews was "uncool" to say the least.

Of course what is worse appeasement or support? George Bush's grand pappy was fined for helping the Nazis. Ronald Reagan created the modern jihadist movement when he battled communism and took down the Ruskies in Afghan in that movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger. I think it was Rambo III. It was a good movie, but I don't think it was worth all the trouble they've been causing us since then.

I guess we could also mention how much the Bush's love them some Bin Laden. Of course if I remember correctly the last attack from Al-Queda came from 15 guys with box cutters. I say we can take'em. I know the current administration does not believe that. I guess that is why they let Bin Laden get away from us when we had him surrounded. I guess that is why Bush said he doesn't even care about Bin Laden that "he doesn't lose any sleep over him" (another real life quote!)

"But that ain't McCain!" You scream. That's Bush. Bush loves Osama not McCain.

That's right. McCain has a secret plan to get Osama Bin Laden that he has not shared with the government and will not share with Barrack Obama if Obama wins the election. He's actually said that.

Well he said he had a secret plan. So I gotta ask why he has not told someone in the Army this. I would love nothing better to get that guy. But I guess McCain would rather win an election that kill the biggest mass murderer of Americans by terrorism. Talk about your Country First!


"You and your party tacitly believe that a 13 or 14 year old girl must have the parents approval to have the school nurse provide them with a Tylenol when they have a headache at school. Yet, this same girl can become pregnant and the school can skirt her off to a clinic and abort the child in her body without the parents knowing or being notified. This scares the hell out of me. You have two little girls. Would you be upset if this happened to them and you were not informed? Then why do you stand for this? It makes no sense to me."

Mark, you've figured it out. We secretly believe that a nurse should have the ability to hand out Tylenol to a student only if the parents sign a permission slip. We also believe permission slips should be needed for things like chocolate milk, soda, and attending seminary classes.

We never tell the world that school nurses are trained professionals and we are confident in their ability to administer over the counter medication. How can I be upset that you are on to this part of the plan we Dem's have?

I am upset that you discovered our little plan to save some money via universal healthcare and allow school nurses to "wisk" your children away to the janitorial supply room with a coat hanger to rip out your child's unborn. I can tell you from experience that coat hangers are cheap, but messy. I am sure very few Democrats support things like getting doctors or judges to sign off on abortions. We democrats know that you can always get your parents permission to abort one of the mongrel offspring you implanted in your child. Because daddy should get to visit his baby's vagina first.


Up till this point, Mark, I thought you did a good job of hiding how stupid you are. But then you just had to go and let it out. Point 7 has something to do with how Obama is worrisome, because a few of his supporters(out of his millions) cozy up with the likes of people like Hugo Chavez.

We can't have that. We cannot have people in the country cozing up to vicious killers. I mean it's not like the government of the United States of America has ever propped up dictatorships. We over here in the good ol' USA would never support regimes like Augusto Pinochet, Ferdinand Marcos, The Shaw of Iran, or the countless brutal and authoritarian governments that we have set up as proxies in Central America and around the globe. I mean I am sure we were the first government to get all of our money out of South Africa because of the practice of Apartheid.

Oops. I guess we didn't. My guess is Republicans don't like Hugo Chavez because unlike Republicans he gets elected to office. I know how you guys hate democracy and all. You are far more comfortable with being appointed to the presidency by the Supreme Court.


I am sure none of the reasons you listed have anything to do with race. But they also have nothing to do with reality, or the truth. You racist pig and supporter of fascism!

Yours Truly,

Romius T.

Monday, October 27, 2008

I work 12 days in a row

I was going to work on my long form piece about how Barrack Obama is the Mikhail Gorbachev of the American Left. But when I explained my idea to a few friends none of them got it. They did not see the connection, and I have to admit there really is none. Other than the connection all the right wing nuts see because they assume Obama is a Marxist.

I am sure one day I will finish the article and I will post it. Until then I wait for the Fed EX guy to bring me my phone. I woke early this morning. I was tossing and turning at 8 am jumping up at every noise that sounded like a knock at the door. None of the sounds I heard was from the Fed Ex guy knocking, just the random sounds of my ghetto neighborhood.

I decided to write this post even though I have to go work in like 15 minutes. Today is the 8th straight day I have worked, and you would think that would make me rich, but you are wrong. Somehow I will end up with only 32 hours this week. I forgot to pick my schedule this week and ended up with three days. I had to beg for a couple of day from co-workers and since my co-workers are lazy that was pretty easy. What that means is that I have a bunch of 4, 5 and 6 hours shifts that nobody wanted and I had to put off my day off until Friday. That sucks for me because I am burned out on this job.

Speaking of burning things I am going to go make some Corn Beef and Cabbage. I will add some red potatoes to my crock pot and when I get home tonight I will feast like it is St. Patty's Day. I even have left over Tecate beer to swig it down with.

Things are looking up.

Not really, but I do like me some Corn Beef.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

An open letter to my "crazy" Barack Obama fearing Mom


I'm sorry to hear your point of view on Barrack Obama. I do not worry about Barrack. I am not concerned that he is a closet Communist/Muslim who may or may not be bringing "the end times."

I worry that he is less liberal than Bill Clinton. His voting record and political career suggests he is a moderate always looking to compromise. Despite his drawbacks I can not vote for anyone else.

I do not want anything to do with the right wing of this country. Bush won a "compromised" election in 2000. Since then he cut taxes on the wealthy, suspended the 4th amendment,spied on Americans, allowed terrorists to attack our country, used signing statements to subvert the rule of law, started 2 wars (and lied to invade Iraq who had nothing to do with 9-11), smashed the separation of church and state, drove the nation into massive debt, gave away trillions of dollars to corporate powers, the list goes on. What is the difference between our country and the "fascism" of Fascism? We do not kill Jews. Yet.

What we don't need is more pandering to the religious right in this country. I am not worried that Barrack is secretly a black power, Muslim bent on subverting what is left (so very little left) of our constitution by converting us by the sword to Islamic belief. I am far more worried about Palin's insane religious views, because they represent a portion of the mainstream of American thought. The alleged Islamic beliefs of Obama would find no support from Americans. The hyper unreal beliefs of right winged religious nuts like Sarah Palin and George Bush inform there every policy move and are supported by members of the moral majority.

Even if all the attacks against Obama were true, I would have faith in the power of the Constitution to restrain Obama from killing all the white people. If the people in government can convince George W. Bush that he does not get a third term, they can convince Obama that he should continue to masque his Muslim beliefs in his self proclaimed love of Christianity.

I am not at angry at all with you; however, I should point out to you though (if you are not aware) that I am an Atheist and a card carrying member of the Communist Party (USA). I vote Democratic because that party represents at least a brake on the corporate institutions which dominate the political landscape. But my beliefs are firm and I have considered them carefully.

Since I am an Atheist and Communist I would like nothing more than to smash the economic system we live in. We live in a country that "Socializes" the risk of entrepreneurial capitalism, but privatises the gains. I see no reason to worry that Obama will bring communism. We have socialism here already, but it is socialism for the rich. The bailouts are just the latest example of this.

I would like nothing more than to see our country return to clear dividing wall between church and state. I take no comfort in knowing that a republican president would protect my right to not believe. A republican comes down on the side of the moneyed interests and religion, not the working class and free thinking.

The video you suggested has been flying around the country for quite some time and has been debunked on numerous occasions. I assume proof at this point will not suffice. I will not offer any.

I could adopt the strategy of the anti-Obama people and remind you that at the first debate Obama wore an American flag pin and McCain did not. That Sarah Palin's church has witch doctors, they lay hands on her, they are Pentecostal which means they play with snakes and talk in tongues. That Sarah Palin's husband belongs to an Alaskan secessionist group ( The Alaska First Party) a group that so hates America they make Iran look like our best friend.

You can find videos of the leader of this hate group saying things I would not have said about this country when white men were allowed to own black men. Sarah Palin gave speeches to this group. She may allow Alaska to leave the Union if she gets to be president (and don't we need Alaska's gas?)

The video below shows Sarah Palin telling a treasonous group that they do great work.

I have seen videos of Sara getting healed by her pastor and "hands placed upon her" as she thanks this witch burning doctor (he brags he hunts down witches like there is something called a witch that has powers and needs to be cured of her demons -Palin nods her head during all this because she agrees. Then she gets up and tells the witch burning doctor "thanks" for "givin' her the governorship."

I could make a video as scary as the video you saw and if you did not know any better would make you run for the Canadian border if McCain won. To sum up: I do not believe Barack Obama is the anti-Christ.

(If he were is it not "god's will"? I find the second point to be dangerous and typical of the right wing extremist position. I am sure that (deleted) women believes something to that effect.)

I must say I am surprised at your conversion to religious dogma. When did this occur? I can not as a child recall you ever using religious tinged explanations to describe the empirical or phenomenal world (that is the world of experience).

As a child I do not recall any conversation about God with you, or your belief in him. I do recall attending memaw's church. I recall after Dad left you never took us to church again. I know Aunt D. was a Catholic and I knew you and Dad had some vague belief in a "Christian" god. I know know that Aunt N. was churchy. She watched all those preachers who talk of prosperity all the while asking for donations at every oppurtunity. Religion was kept to Sunday in our house (and only a few Sundays) and talk of God's will would have sounded absurd.

I know that good Baptists like to leave it up to the individual to come to terms with choosing god. I always assumed that is why you left me the choice to believe or not to believe. I've always considered that to be your finest parenting gift.

I would just like to ease your fears.

Obama is less liberal than Bill Clinton who was just a liberal Republican in sheep's clothing. The End Times is not coming. Obama is not the closet Anti-Christ that is thought to be foreseen in the book of Revelations (no matter what your good friend g. thinks) nor is he a secret buddy of Osama Bin Laden.

FUN FACT: Did you know that George H. W. Bush was having a meeting with Osama Bin Laden's family around the time of 911?

"George H. W. Bush attended an investment meeting at the Washington, D.C. Ritz-Carlton hotel on September 10, 2001 and in particular a meeting with Shafiq bin Laden, representing joint interests of the Saudi Binladin Group and Carlyle."

IF you are concerned at all with terrorism and links to the Osama Bin Laden look no further than the Bush clan. There are a number of conspiracy videos that link 9-11 to the US government and George Bush. I think the most popular one is a movie called Zeitgeist. You could google it.

It will scare you. It also talks about the Federal Reserve System, the illegal nature of payroll taxes on Americans, and the weirdly similar nature of Egyptian gods to the the story of the risen Christ that purports to expose the Christian god as untrue.

I am not worried that Obama will lead us to the end of times. I am worried that if Palin gets into power she will bring on Armageddon because she wants 'the end of times' so she can be with her Jesus. I think she'd push the bomb and blow us all to hell. Barrack is just a democrat. He will bow to the media, corporate powers, the right wing, and all the special interests that all the other politicians bow to. Obama is simply the better choice for working people, and that is how I decide who I vote for.

The attacks you have read about Obama come from the some place that attacked McCain for having a black baby out of wedlock in South Carolina. They are the same "swift boat" attacks that said John Kerry was a coward even though he served in Vietnam and was shot at. (Unlike that coward GW.) I know Kerry said things that veterans (and your husband) don't like, "Stop the war we are massacring people."

(I'm sorry 3 million dead in Vietnam is not a massacre it is genocide. American history is full of Genocide. Natives, black slavery, The Philippines, Panama, etc.)

Mom, the video and other attacks you read on Obama are just swift boat attacks, they are swift boat in nature, they reveal themselves as swift boatian in the light of careful reasoning.

I would ask you to consider how the Democratic Party missed all the claims you hear. Why is there nothing in the mainstream media? Why would not John McCain say something in a debate in front of 65 million people? McCain loves his country. If McCain thought Obama was a Muslim terrorist, (and if the claims that accuse him are so backed in fact and truth) would he not have a moral duty to expose Obama for the fraud that he is?

Is McCain part of a secret plan to get the Anti-Christ in power? Is he Judas in the last days? Do you not worry about the rationality of the arguments that are needed to anchor such ideas?

One can disagree about the direction of this Country.

I think our country has been going down hill for 8 years.

One can disagree about if we need change.

I think only a complete rejection of the Bush Doctrine will enable our Country to prosper and survive.

One can make a case for either candidate to help.

But I think one candidate will continue the policies of the last 8 years and the other will offer us hope and real change.

But the idea that Obama is not a loyal American that he is a black extremist, or secret communist who is bent on subverting the constitution and handing our Christian saved souls over to Caliph of the Dajjal* does not bear scrutiny. It does not rise to the level of rational plausibility.

Visit the website stopthe smears to learn about Barack Obama's side to the questions that have been raised by these attacks.

Next year when Barrack Obama lowers your taxes you will have a laugh at all this. You will stop worrying that Kenya is going to invade the US. And I will spend my tax rebate on a trip to Florida. You will see. It will all be ok. I promise.

Your son.

p.s. The government reads your e-mail.
*(The antichrist of muslim theology)

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Why fat chicks love sex more than you

I was told I was fat because I have lifestyle issues not because, "it is in my DNA." Life style issues? I don't know what that guy is talking about. I don't have any life style "issues." I like my lifestyle. I have been drinking coke and surfing the net all day. I drove to McDonald's for lunch so I could buy a Big Mac Meal because they have their Monopoly promotion on again.

I have to say that buying Big Macs is a great investment strategy right now with the Stock Market in the tubes and all. For 7 dollars I got a large Bic Mac meal and two bags of ice. The super sized Big Mac meal came with 6 free chances to win a prize, so I feel like I am finally on the road to financial recovery.

Friday my work reissued my lost payroll check. I cashed it and took all the money to 7-11 to pay my electric bill. The kiosk took all my money, but it did not credit my account. I called the customer service number and they promised me that the money is going to be credited soon. "Maybe Wednesday or Thursday." The operator said. I told her that was kinda shady and she told me to stop eating chocolate graham crackers and cola after eating a Big Mac for lunch. I wanted to tell her to mind her own business, but she has a point. I'm fat. And because I am fat I promised to tell you the secreet to why fat chicks love sex. I will, but hang on for a second. I'm not done talking about me yet.

I need to buy a tire, because I got a flat the other day. I think the tire is going to cost me a hundred bucks. I haven't made a truck payment to Card Shard this month. I need to do that this week, or at least at some point this month. I need to shop around for cheaper car insurance, because 120 dollars a month is too much to pay for a 2001 truck.

I do have some good news on the finance side. I have not received the bill for the internet which means I can still blog at home for you before I go to work. I won 280 dollars at poker last night. My share is 140 dollars and with it I can buy a new tire even if Walmart refuses to honor the warranty Card Shark says he has on the flat.

I have 21 minutes before I need to get ready for work and I am down to my last chocolate graham cracker cookie and I have not even started all the research I need to do in order to deliver to you my newest report on why fat chicks love sex so much.

My initial hypothesis is an extension of an earlier theory I had on why the retarded love sex so much. If the mentally retarded are going to survive in the world they need to reproduce at a higher rate than the non-retarded. That is why evolution equips the retarded with an almost insatiable curiosity for sex. The retarded are constantly playing with themselves and dry humping unsuspecting visitors anytime some one knocks at the door.

I am not sure about "legally," but ethically you can't rape a retard because they love sex so much. I am pretty sure the same thing goes for fat chicks. If you have ever had sex with a fat chick then you know how grateful they are for penatration. FAt Chicks loves cock and even though you have heard the rumors that fat chicks gobble down all day on your rod because they are woried you will leave them for a skinny chick, I am telling you to skip the foreplay and go straight to the fucking.

As soon as you put it in a Fat chick she will scream like you are cutting through her with a chainsaw. I don't know about you, but I like a loud fuck. I like it when the girl bucks and screams your name and claws your back and begs you to put it in "deeper."

I did some research on the internet and by research I mean I watched a lot of fat chick porn on the internet. You know that I review amatuer porn clips but that I can never find a site that lets me embed the clips. I figured out why. I forgot that the best web site for embedding porn clips is Red Tube. Here is a fat chick. They look limber when they bang you.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

I've always wanted to hit a woman

I've been fasting so you probably shouldn't take anything I say seriously. I tried to quit drinking coke today. I had 2 cokes for breakfast. At work I drank tea with no sugar. I gave up fasting 3 minutes ago and cracked open an ice cold can of coke. I gulped it down as quickly as I could. I got such a rush that I popped open a second can. I am trying to type for at least a few seconds before I drink that one.

I know I am not supposed to tell you that I've always wanted to hit a woman. I just wonder what it would be like. I don't think it is such a big deal. To be honest most days the thought never enters my mind. Women have hit me before. But I've never taken the idea seriously when given the opening.

I know I've lost a few of you for good here with this post and that's ok with me. I know that you are going to say that I have crossed a line and some lines you just can't cross. You CAN'T TALK about the idea of wanting to hit a woman.

That's funny to me. I've never hit a woman. I never will. My momma raised me right. I just think it is odd how we can't talk about something that every single man has thought at least once in his life. A few men hit all the time. I think we need to understand why.

I will never hit a woman, but I have hit a man before.

Imagine if I had led off with the statement, "I have hit men in my life." Ask yourselves if you would feel threatened by me. Would you consider the statement by itself to be toxic? I will wager you that would not have. That's because it is ok to hit a man. Men are violent and we expect violence from men towards men. Moreover; women demand violence from men.

A women will always question the masculinity of a man afraid to be violent towards another man. Every woman I date expects me to perform "violence" if the need arises. I would never expect the same from my date. I would not question her loyalty to our relationship if she failed to intercede on my behalf during an altercation. The reason for that is simple. I do not require my partner to engage in fisticuffs, not because I have "evolved" any more than the average women, I just grew up in a society that does not require women to be physically aggressive. Because of that I know I could not count on a women to help me if I were in trouble. Society explains to men early on that men must battle the world alone.

Conventional wisdom suggests that if women ruled the world we would have peace. The secret to understanding why war still exists lies not in the violent genetic disposition of men, but in how society acts upon that tendency.

Any woman who has suffered at the brutal hands of another woman's merciless teasing knows full well the cruelty that resides in their sex. Women use stealth rather than force only because women do not come prepared for physical combat the way men do. Women lose fist fights between men and women.

I can never get an agreement from women on this point. They all seem to want to say that woman are as tough as men, that they could whip us in a fight. At the same time they want to say that women are more peaceful than men. I guess from the female perspective, men are lucky that women are holding back on us. I tend to see violence in a woman's desire to argue with me over their inate ability to crush me.

I wrote this post because I was just curious to see when both men and women are going to awaken to the realization that we could live in peaceful society. Most of us are so tied into are our animal concerns about surviving that we are willing to live with violence because we fear danger. The fear of danger is the most pernicious enemy of a healthy society.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Kim Kardashian proves she is "all real" by posting jail bait pictures of her 14 year old body in a bikini. All I can say is thank you!

I am not sure what I am supposed to do with this other than thank god for the obvious gift he has bestowed upon us. I know you think I am an atheist just because I went to see Bill Mahr's movie Religiulous and when the kid in the red shirt jumped up after the movie and screamed, "I am not convinced!" I simply replied, "I am not surprised."

While that makes me a non-believer I still like to thank god for all the little things he gives me like a picture of a untalented porn and reality tv show star when she was just 14 and all natural.

I am pretty sure that shot is right out of OIU magazine circa 1984. I always loved Oui magazine because Oui is way sluttier than Playboy. Oui showed vagina lips and focused on hairy bushed women (a la the famous Demi Moore shot) before we knew that hairy bushes where not ok. I never took a razor or a clipper anywhere near my pubes until I was in my late 30's.I am sure that it way too late for me now to pretend to be down with the clean shave look, but I try because girls seem to like it.

Friday, October 03, 2008

You maybe the only person wondering where this blog has been, but I still think you count

I know Bathos does not have as many followers as the Self Help Center does, and that's ok with me. I did not stop posting here for that reason. I stopped blogging in Bathos because it can be difficult keeping up with just one blog at a public library computer terminal. I still believe in this blog like I believe in you. I know if you read this blog you are very hip "to it" and smart because you know what you like and you don't care what the rest of the world says.

You like chocolate shakes and romance novels, and guys that make fun of Sarah Palin. And you would sleep with just about anyone you could convince to go singing Karaoke with you. I don't blame you for that.

I mean I do hate that let's all pretend we can sing Korean bull shit, and I will never sing for you even though I do the best Neil Diamond impression you have ever heard, and I sing like William Shatner whenever I cover any song by a female artist.

I know I just made you wet and I know you can't help how frothy your vagina gets when you get all worked up. I just don't like thinking about all that extra juice you have down there, but I guess I am going to have to, just like I am going to have to at least "promise" to stick it in you if I am ever going to convince you to go down on me.

I sat on this post for a day or so thinking maybe a little bit of inspiration would help me write. I know I was wrong because I still don't have any inspiration and according to my stats this blog is just sitting here dying from neglect.

I know what you are thinking. I've never really had a plan for this blog and if you don't have a plan then you have planned for failing. But you believe in a lot of retarded shit so I won't hold that against you.

I think the problem is that I am spreading myself too thin. I have 4 blogs (yes, that means I have a secret blog you don't know about) and a podcast to get to, and there is no possible way you can actually come up with that much material every day if you want the material to be any good.

If this blog had a theme it would be easier to write. At least then you would know what to expect. When you read my other blogs you know what you are getting yourself into. The Self Help Center has my rants and daily life. It is part work blog, part diary, part character driven. I have no idea what this blog is. I was hoping to make it a blog that shows off my humor stylings. I also wanted a place where I could be more political and gossipy and just plain bloggy (not personal bloggy) if that makes any sense and of course it does not.

I really need to post a podcast. I have had almost a thousand downloads in the past 2 months so I think that means I have an audience. I also want to devote some time to my secret blog in the hopes that it will take off and make me rich. I know that won't happen. I have spent more money on my blog hobby than I could ever see back, but I don't mind because I know that the 10 people who read me really need me in their empty lives. And since my 10 readers are needed by 10 people in the real world and those people influence other people, well you can see how important this blog writing thing is to the whole world. So when I can't think of anything to blog I want you to know that won't stop me from blogging.

I know you guys worried that I might stop writing because I have a computer at home. You thought I could go back to not posting much, but don't worry I think I am going to keep up the manic posting schedule that I have created. Just for you, and your loved ones, and all the Cosmic Karma I can suck out of you codependent bastards.