Yesterday was my birthday. I am fucking old. I am 34 in real life. 30 on Match.com and any other personal ad sites. And I am 19 on my.space or whenever I hit on the teenagers.
It's my birthday and on my birthday I try and find and use as many free things as I can that are given out by Corporate America. I used my free movie pass from Harkins to see the worst film ever...National Treasure. I walked out half way through it.
Certainly there has never been a more unintentionally ironic title than... "National Treasure" ..it's certainly no treasure. I could not even sit through the whole movie and it was free. I then bought myself a Volvo 740 from the year of my graduation (1989) and a baseball hat.
My friends took me out to a couple of bars and got me drunk.
Some of my friends think it's really funny to ask fat chicks to come up and give me a kiss on the cheek [they never fail to do so either.] Funny quote after the kiss.
Fat Girl: "I will be right back."
She then returns with a piece of cake , instead of her plump friend for a threesome.
Friend: Where did she get the cake from?
Me: Umm, she's a fat girl they always have cake on them.
We spent the rest of the night leaving fake calls on Gary "baba boey's" voicemails all night.
2 comments:
Fat girls do always have cake. It's on reserve for that gullible, lonely and desperate birthday boy.
Happy Birthday
Damn Sneaky fat chicks!!
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