Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Suicide Christmas Cards

There is always bad weather around Christmas time.  The wind won't stop blowing, the rain won't stop falling. Raining down on me like the bullets rained down that night at Columbine.

What a fucking night that must have been!

Dear Mom & Dad

This is just a little card to let you know that I care.

If you were wondering if Uncle Tommy's molesting had something to do with my decision to smash my head like one of those Halloween pumpkins that David Letterman tosses off  buildings in his crazy "throw stuff off tall building segments" then you were straight up correcto!

You should really think about getting on that TV show "So you think you are smarter than a 5th grader?"

Because for the first time in your lives...YOU WERE!~

Love,

Billy "your head look a little bit like a pumpkin that got pushed off a 10 story building."

p.s.
Dirty Hairy was right, " A Colt 45 does some magnificent damage."

Saturday, December 12, 2009

I should use this blog for something

My Dumps:

I took a massive stinky dump at midnight.  Shit stinks, but the smell from my dump worried me.  It was the smell of cancer or sickness.  I took another dump earlier today.  Though that dump was small.  Not even perfunctory.   Just like the eraser tip from a pencil.  More annoying than anything.  The big dump was gray.  Better than the black dumps I have had for the last week or more.

Media Consumption:

I watched the Daily Show.  Two episodes.  I listened to Twilight on the Env3.  Book 1 parts 4 and 5.   I watched the final 20 minutes of Law Abiding Citizen.  I watched Full Moon the movie.  Am I turning into a 16 year old girl?  How the fuck does Twilight part 2 end with a marriage proposal.  I was like "get the fuck out of here!"  I know Bella will say yes.  I am sure of it!

Hypochondria:

My back hurts.  My liver hurts.  My liver pain may only be back pain, but you never know.  The pain in the liver comes on the lower left hand side of my back.  I think I need a new bed.  The back pain is worse because of it.  I think my testicles have something growing in them. Whatever it is, it is getting bigger. 

SEX:

I did not masturbate today.