Wednesday, May 31, 2006

A letter of concern for Mrs. Steve Nash.

Dear Mrs. Nash,

I just read that Avery Johnson's wife was recently accused of assault by a local Suns fan. According to Yahoo News...

"Rebecca Kettle told police that Cassandra Johnson hit her twice in the shoulder during a verbal confrontation. According to a police report, an officer read Johnson her rights before questioning her."

I can't tell you how frightened news of that police blurb got me. I know you probably think that I am "all removed" and stuff since I left Phoenix and all. But the Suns are still my second favorite NBA team and you are still my second fave wife on the team. So as soon as I read about the Lil General's problem I became concerned for your safety.

I might be wrong, but I think the next game is being played in Dallas. If so... all I can tell you is to BEWARE. Stay away from any or all confrontations with Mavericks fans. They may be out to get you. I mean now Dallas fans are even booing Steve , so who knows what they are capable of next. You might want to stay home and watch the game on TV. I know I am going to TiVo it myself. That's because TiVo is pretty cool. If you don't have TiVo, I highly recommend it.

This post is dedicated to salt substitutes. Also to highly self-referential jokes in the last paragraph that only two people will get.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Blog may be on hold ....

Dear readers,

I am in a bit of a transition period - relocating my life and all. Posting will become sporadic at best. Friends who are looking to follow my life can request a myspace link-longtime readers will be bored by the family friendly language but interested folks can request the link-if you pass inspection you will get it!

I hate to give up a 5 google pank rating but I may end my projects and start over fresh.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Police discover sex slave cult based on Gor series of books

I discovered the world of Gor in of all places my 10th grade high school library. Had they know reading it could lead me to this:

BBC NEWS UK Police discover sex slave cult

I don't think my high school librarian would have chosen the book for inclusion in my public school library.

Dungeons & Dragons was all the rage at the time, so I think the librarians must have thought the books were a harmless and dumb downed version of Tolkien.

The actual plot involves UFO's from a counter-earth kidnapping young hot girls "who just want to go wild' and forcing them to become chattel on a planet that is eerily reminiscent of Conan the Barbarian (maybe that's where Arnie get's it from.) I am sure our librarians did not know the books were actually primers for Sado-masochism, misogyny, and cultism.

But it is one thing to read about a bizarre-sex counter Earth, it is quite another to have the balls to create such a paradise here on Earth. Go to this link for a cult-watch explanation of how the Gor 'world' has taken a life of it's own. Who could have guessed that a bunch of role playing nerds would try it out for themselves.

Best quote from the book and the line all my female sex partners are required to recite : "Slave-Rape me again , Master!"

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

New Robot Has 8 Robotic Tentacles-beware of the Robotic overthrow.

Live Science has revealed yet another advance from the field of Robotics. I can't believe we are weaponizing the next dominant spieces ourselves.

Now robots will have 8 arms? That's 6 more than we have. Is there any hope for mankind?

Has anyone ever seen Colossus: The Forbin Project ?

Memorable Quotes from Colossus: The Forbin Project (1970) [last lines] [Colossus tells Forbin that one day, Forbin will not only cooperate with Colossus, but love him] Dr. Forbin: NEVER!

Colossus: This is the voice of world control. I bring you peace. It may be the peace of plenty and content or the peace of unburied dead. The choice is yours: Obey me and live, or disobey and die. The object in constructing me was to prevent war. This object is attained. I will not permit war. It is wasteful and pointless.

An invariable rule of humanity is that man is his own worst enemy. Under me, this rule will change, for I will restrain man. One thing before I proceed: The United States of America and the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics have made an attempt to obstruct me. I have allowed this sabotage to continue until now. At missile two-five-MM in silo six-three in Death Valley, California, and missile two-seven-MM in silo eight-seven in the Ukraine, so that you will learn by experience that I do not tolerate interference, I will now detonate the nuclear warheads in the two missile silos. Let this action be a lesson that need not be repeated. I have been forced to destroy thousands of people in order to establish control and to prevent the death of millions later on. Time and events will strengthen my position, and the idea of believing in me and understanding my value will seem the most natural state of affairs.

You will come to defend me with a fervor based upon the most enduring trait in man: self-interest. Under my absolute authority, problems insoluble to you will be solved: famine, overpopulation, disease. The human millennium will be a fact as I extend myself into more machines devoted to the wider fields of truth and knowledge. Doctor Charles Forbin will supervise the construction of these new and superior machines, solving all the mysteries of the universe for the betterment of man.

We can coexist, but only on my terms.

You will say you lose your freedom. Freedom is an illusion. All you lose is the emotion of pride. To be dominated by me is not as bad for humankind as to be dominated by others of your species. Your choice is simple.

Can there be any wonder why this is in my top 5 movies??

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Message to Jon Stewart-- quit 'bumming out' the young people or they won't vote!

According to this article from the Science Blog watching the Daily Show makes young people more 'cynical' and less likely to vote.

Folks may remeber this Jon Stewart guy as the same guy who advised Paul Begala and Tucker Carson, the hosts of 'Crossroads,' that they were... "hurting America." "Stop, ...stop it now..." he implored them while on the stage of their shouting match CNN attempted to pass off as a televised debate show.

You have to wonder how Mr. Stewart ( goes to Washington) would handle the same type of criticism leveled against him from 'Sciencey' Blog? I mean, the criticism must be legitimate, it's Science Blog after all. Science is their first name.

I'm sure there couldn't be anything in today's political climate ( war in Iraq) that Mr. Stewart could lay claim to that might be the cause of the cynicism young people profess to harbor for their political leaders (poker and hookergate) and regarding their civic responsibilities. (Vote?-Diebold security issues in touch screens.) Nah...I didn't think so.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

The false parallel between the Clinton administration's use of a surveillance program known as Echelon and Bush's warrantless domestic eavesdropping

After USA Today broke the story of a warrantless domestic phone tracking program, a few pundits over at Fox & Friends attempted to compare a Clinton Era surveillance program called Echelon with the current administrations warrantless intrusions into our counrty's phone records.

"Co-host Brian Kilmeade said, 'This has been happening since 2000. This isn't one man's policy. The foundation was already laid for this six years ago.'"

Media Matters sets the record straight:

"But as Media Matters noted in response to the earlier comparisons, in contrast with the Bush administration's surveillance program, the eavesdropping of U.S. residents conducted under Echelon was carried out in compliance with FISA, according to then-CIA Director George J. Tenet. In his April 12, 2002, testimony before the House Intelligence Committee Tenet denied that Echelon was used to spy on U.S residents without a warrant. He said, "We do not target their conversations for collection in the United States unless a FISA warrant has been obtained from the FISA court by the Justice Department." Then-National Security Agency director Lt. Gen. Michael V. Hayden -- currently Bush's nominee for CIA director -- also appeared before the committee and testified, "If [an] American person is in the United States of America, I must have a court order before I initiate any collection [of communications] against him or her."

By contrast, since the disclosure of their warrantless domestic surveillance program, Bush has
asserted -- and administration officials such as Hayden have repeated -- that he possesses the authority to eavesdrop on U.S. residents' communications without FISA approval."

I guess I wil let the "professionals" handle rebuttals in the future.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

A Fan letter to Steve Nash's Wife...

Dear Mrs. Nash

Did you know your name sounds like a salt substitute?

I just wanted to tell you how classy I think you are.

I know by now you must have 'googled' Steve Nash Wife or Steve Nash married.

So I am quite sure that you, your mom, or one of your best friends has stumbled upon this blog by now. And I have to say to my interested readers, that not once have you or any other member of your family tried to get a hold of me to verify 'the story'.

Have you and Steve discussed that dirty little tramp? I am hopeful that no marital strife has come about because of my posting. I'm like Drudge, I just report the facts. And you should probably keep in mind that Tempe is not a bit like ancient Greece or Rome (I get them both confused), so please don't shoot the messenger.

Anyways, I am sure there are dozens of excuses for Steve's behavior. Of course you are from Paraguay, so maybe you just don't read English so good. Frankly, I think that Steve needs to quit babying you so much and make you speak America's language while you're in America. It's the least you can do since we let you immigrate.

Well I just wanted to let you know how much I admire you, I am sure you are nothing like that dirty skank from Hooters!

Romius. T.


I thought about adding your name to this post, but then every time you 'googled' yourself you'd have to re-read this post. Since you are probably in denial about the whole thing it seemed a bit cruel.

But I am not a nice person, so it wasn't until Tim Thomas called me and said he would "Go Ghetto on me" if I put your 'real name' out there on 'the internets.' I'm not sure what he meant, but it sounded quite unpleasant.

This post is dedicated to my friends who marvel at Tim Thomas' instant I got your back even though I have only been in town '3 whole weeks' thing.

Friday, May 12, 2006 Rocks!

I have never been in the habit of sucking up to people who link to me, so this feels dirty. Not as dirty as the Drudge Reports "lead story" that an 11 year old girl in England is Preggars. But dirty nonetheless. (Yes there is even a picture-and ya the 34 year old Mom of the daughter looks hot!) - Table of Contents page is a sweet little blog that links me (and even calls me a blogger) about 4 paragraphs down on it's May 11th entry. A few hundred hits later and many of you now know that I was probably the first blogger to "yipe" about Fox & Friends reactionary coverage of USA Today's disclosure of a secret phone-data collection program run by the NSA.

A reader commented on my ability to watch Fox & Friends:

I can't believe you can sit through Fox and Friends. What's fucking wrong with you?I really need to know. My dad can watch Fox all day and he's a raving liberal. I have to know what to do about it. Have you ever tried to find a cure? I wonder if they planted a chip in his head. Any odd bumps appear on your skull after a night of drinking lately?You see I have this theory...

Well he is right! I do have a chip implanted in me, also some strange bumps on my head. But I prefer not to talk about that. I also think it's kinda rude to bring it up. But what they hey... I am gonna make sure that Dudley-do-Right gets his implant and bump....

Or, maybe I am just turned on by Kiran Chetry. Is there is something perversely wrong with me because I have an unusual attraction to conservative Hot Chicks? I'll let the reader draw his /her own conclusion.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Well at least we live in a "Formal Democracy."

Or is that formally a Democracy? USA Today the last bastion of investigative reporting discovered that George W. has been spying on a ton of phone calls placed in the US between you and your best friend.

Attention all left wingers-please stop using Verizon, AT&T, and Bell South unless you want to get picked up for some "non-torture" interrogation during Bush's third term.

Congratulations to USA-Today for breaking the story. And congrats to Fox and Friends for being the first asshats to spin the story for the administration.

A few hours before any other news service online or TV picked up the secret story, --"USA Today went all unpatriotic"-- we're informed by the fetchingly blond and leggy Republican E.D. Hill

E.D. then winks at the camera and coos "You know those guys over at the USA Today just love the terrorists."** When E.D. is not asking viewers to smell her boots*** she is asking her viewers to choose who they should believe, "Who do you believe the NY Times or the President?" You know, as if the Decider never lies and Pulitzer Prize winners are simply leftist propaganda machines.

Friday Fox and gals opened up their chirpy banter with zingers like "did the government know what breakfast you had today?" And reminded us that all this spying is old news "this is really just a Clinton based program called Echelon."

I am sure E.D. thought it was all just "grand" then. But her analogy with Echelon is wrong. First, Eschelon was created 40 years ago, so it's not a Clinton program. Secondly, it was designed to follow the content of signals and so was not a data mining program. E.D. should have referenced the Total Information Awareness founded by disgraced Reagan official Admiral Poindexter.

My friend and I get further treated to Fox & Friends anchors telling us not to "jump to any conclusions and not to worry because the bugging came with the full cooperation of many major corporations. " The one exception was Quest who was worried about their customer relations image. "I know you are gonna think this is bad," E.D. adds "but... just read the entire's about fighting terrorism."

Christ, I can't believe anybody over at Quest ever got anything right.

I don't want to alarm any of you, but Congress and the Justice Department are not allowed to investigate into the illegal tapping of American phones, because the National Security Agency has refused to grant Justice Department lawyers security clearance. That seems very Democracy like.

So there's nothing to see here folks, go about your business. Ignore all this....and please... some of you visit me in Cuba sometime.

**OK, maybe that's not exactly "objectively" what happened. I say "Fuck the Truthiness."
*** That really happened on Friday.