Friday, November 14, 2008

Dear Mrs. Steve Nash, Is Steve Nash a Racist?

Dear Mrs. Steve Nash,

I know it's been a long time since I sent you a fan letter, but is has also been a long time since your husband has been in the news or done anything worthy of getting my attention.

Also this whole fan letter thing never caught on with my readers since most of my readers are Internet geeks who don't play sports and hate jocks because they are always getting the crap kicked out of them by guys like your husband.

The rest of my readers are women and most women hate sports except for those stalker groupie women who love the free meal ticket that a professional ball players salary and fame can get them.

Obviously, I am not talking about you Mrs. Nash. I am talking about those nasty skanks like Shaune Bagwell (above) who try and bed themselves a millionaire by having unprotected sex and getting knocked up just so they can sit at home all day and get fat. And of course I am talking the 6 women who have illegitimate children with Seattle Supersonic star Shawn Kemp.

The reason I am writing you is I just wanted to let you know that a lot of bloggers out there are calling Steve Nash a racist because he went after a black basket ball player during a fight that broke out between the Suns and Houston Rockets.

I know Steve did not cause the fight. That was cheap shot artist Matt Barnes. He was the asshole that started every thing. All Steve did was make sure that Alston got his hat handed to him after sticking up for himself.

I don't think that makes Steve a racist, but plenty of other people do.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Just some advice

I drive by a couple of high schools on my way to work every day. And by drive by I mean I drive a few miles out of my way so that I can watch all the teen girls clamoring around the bus stop pretending not to be watched by all the pedophiles parked along the curb in thier 1987 Buick Skylarks.

Unlike those losers I have a plan to pick up the girls. Mostly the plan is to wink at all the girls I see as they run through the cross walk. When that doesn't get me enough attention I usually honk my horn at them. I think that tells the girls that I am not just some older guy with a car and the ability to buy them beer, but that I am also way into them.

Honking at the girls doesn't work. I think some of them just think it is kinda "creepy" to honk at a random girl in a crosswalk, so sometimes I pull over and and ask the girls if they have seen my lost puppy, because it does not matter how long that scam has been run it is still the best thing going, because teen girls craveattention even more than they love puppies and candy. And teen girls love puppies enought to get in the back of a van with me.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Fat chicks get more sex than you

I don't get a lot of credit for the stuff I do. Like when I went and got myself a new phone from Verizon I don't think I got a shout out from anyone telling me how amazed they were that my credit wasn't as bad as you assume it to be, because a wireless carrier actually gave me a phone and a 2 year contract.

Another thing, I get comments all the time telling me that I don't post enough even though those people rarely read all three of my blogs, much less subscribe to the podcast on I-tunes. When you add up all the extra posts I have on Bathos it is just like I post once a day at the Self Help Center. I won't mention that you should be taking the time to read all my links and archival material. I believe I was the guy who trade marked the term "incomparable archives." I know you guys hate reading more than you have to but if you see a link to another part of this blog you really need to read it. My link to why fat chicks love sex is more scientific than the article you will read in the mainstream press.


Anybody who follows this blog knew fat chicks are horny. But now you don't have to take my word for it. Now there is scientific proof that fat chicks love sex more than normal sized girls, and in addition they have much more sex than average sized girls.

I know this is only good news for you since you have such a hard time getting laid with regular sized girls, so you might as well give up on them and try for the sure thing that a box of little debbies and a 12 pack of Icehouse beer will get you, and by get you, I mean sloppy vag.

I don't care how clean a fat chick is you know she has a sloppy pussy. I think that is because her lubrication juices are constantly running. I think I have made the whole "fat chicks squeal like pigs when you insert your penis in them joke" so I won't bother using it again here. But fat chicks do love insertion more than other chicks. I think that's what makes having sex with fat chicks so much fun. Fat chicks don't get all "clitoral" on you and only a chump virgin like you could go and misinterpret that as desperation. When all it really is, is god's plan.

A lot of guys will tell you that they enjoy sex with fat chicks because they are grateful for the dick that you give them. I think that is a very offensive statement, but importantly it is also a false statement.

Fat girls get as much sex as they want. Most guys will sleep with a fat chick even if it is just for the night. And we can't forget how black men love big women. I know it is true that white guys don't like a big ass or a large sized woman, but we white guys take what we can get sometimes and because we are all hornier than women in general white guys always find themselves hitting on the fat girl in the corner of the bar by herself.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I don't even know why I write this blog

I wasn't going to repeat the title of this post in the first sentence, but I don't know why I write on this blog anymore. If I knew how to combine both of these blogs into one I would do it in a heart beat.

I just wrote a long attack piece against the enemies of democracy. I spent almost 2 hours writing that answer to Mark Greggs ridiculous email. But I get no love for it. That's because I only have one follower on Bathos and I am certain only 3 or 4 of the people who read the Self Help center read this blog too.

I have to tell you if you are taking the time to read every single post I make on the Self Help Center you need to be reading this blog too. Think of it as the same damn blog only with the occasional video or film review. It's like getting twice as many of my posts if you were just reading Self Help by itself.

Just to give you a reason to read this blog more often I will update Bathos readers on my phone situation. My phone works now. It was pretty easy to get the phone activated. I just had to dial *288 or something and it all worked it's way out. I don't have any idea why LEtsTalk did not include a sheet of paper with my package telling me what to do. It would save them a lot of money. I would not have to call them to have them tell me something so simple.

LEtsTalk also told me that Verizon should be able to give me my discount and that since I have verizon I have my in-calling all set up so it is all good. Now I just have to figure out how to get my refund of out them and all will be right with the world. I guess I would recommend getting a phone from letstalk if you avoid the refund phones. They have lots of deals without the refund and if you are looking for a phone and and they have it cheaper I would not scare you away from getting it with them. Just realize you are signing an agreement not to terminate with them or you will get a 250 charge on top of the 200 dollar charge that your provider will most likely have. That can add up.

Romius T,

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Mark Gregg is the new "Joe the Plumber."

I get e-mails all the time from the right wing of this country. The latest one going around comes from some guy who likes to call himself, Mark, "I am not a racist I am just calling you an angry black man" Gregg.

Mark writes a letter (you might want to read the letter before reading this post!) where he declares that "I am respectfully providing you with seven simple reasons why I could never vote for you."

He starts the letter out very respectfully by pointing out the fact that Barrack is not "the messiah." Classy. Real classy. I am sure none of Gregg's readers infer the connection to Obama being the Anti-Christ. I am sure Gregg is not inflaming the apocalyptic temper of the religious nut jobs who can't wait for the end of times.

Gregg then proceeds to enumerate the reasons for not voting for Obama.

Reason # 1

Obama picked an experienced, smart, worldly Senator who is known on both sides of the aisle to be a "decent family man and not an Arab." (Actual John McCain quote about Barrack Obama).

Gregg would like us to believe that Obama is a "hypocrite" because Obama campaigned on the mantra of change. And then Obama went and picked himself a liberal, inside-the-beltway Senator.

I sure don't understand the criticism. I guess the confusion occurs to Greg and this years spate of Republicans easily because none of them seem to know what the Vice President does. The Vice President does not run things. That will be the Presidents job.


Well we know Dick Cheney doesn't know what the VP does. He has been running the show in Washington for the last 8 years. I don't know that even a hard core Republican could dispute that. If you want to dispute that fact, try watching The DARK SIDE. I know it comes from PBS. But just watch it anyway.

Of course Sarah Palin famously does not know what the VP does. She has been asked that question 3 or 4 times by reporters and she still has not given the correct answer.

I know you Republicans love to make up the rules as you go, but the Constitution to the Unites States of America provides the only legitimate delineation of the powers and scope of the office of the Vice Presidency. I did not read in the Constitution where the VP could get all hockey mom in the Senate and make policy changes. I think you get to Vote if there is a tie or something. Yeah, I seem to remember that.

The rebuttal point (to point number one) from Gregg is that the President will be making decisions, not the VP. Unless Dick Cheney is still VP. Because of some kind of economic crisis that allows the Executive to order the cancelling of the vote. But that could not happen. I mean it's not like Bush signed an executive order giving him permission to do that. Oh. I guess he did. No worries. I am sure that won't happen.

The rest of paragraph has nothing to do with reasons not to vote for a Democrat. The rest of the paragraph deals with why Obama has attacked Sara Palin. Even though Sara is hot and totally awesome with her "maverickiness" and her "gettin' all them quagmires out of the Alaska" and all.

Gregg states that Obama has "slammed" the McCain ticket over the choice of Palin as VP because "she is NOT a Washington insider."

No. The Obama campaign has slammed the choice of Governor Hockey Mom "If it moves I shoot it" because of her lack of experience, because she is an ultra-right wing religious nut job that is rabidly opposed to abortion rights-but supports a witch hunting preacher, because she seems dumb, and because she "looks out at her back door in Alaska" and sees the floating head of Putin. I worry. I worry that Palin makes George W. Bush look like a Mensa member.

Reason #2

Reason number 2 starts out with a lie. Greg falsely claims that "Obama has single most liberal voting record in the senate." I'm sorry. That statement is so blatantly misleading, and such an obvious lie, that only an ignoramus could miss it. Mr. Obama is no where near the most liberal Democrat. I wonder how our dear Ted Kennedy would feel about being considered less liberal than Barrack. Or perhaps Mark forgets the dearly departed Paul Wellstone. Other than the National Review (which now admits to flaws in their study) Obama is ranked as the 10th most liberal Senator in the US Senate.

"This indicates to me and others like me that you may very well be an angry black man seeking to punish our country for sins of a different generation."


"I am not racist."


Just being a liberal means you can be labeled angry? And I guess being very liberal really just means what that you are an ANGRY BLACK MAN. I have to ask Mark. Why did you say ANGRY BLACK MAN? You could have said an angry man, an angry liberal, but you didn't you said an ANGRY BLACK MAN.

I mean let's not even cover the fact that you assume all liberals to be "angry." That's just silly. Are all Conservatives angry? Maybe you mean radicals and not liberals. I don't know. Are all radicals angry? I guess you would say so. But I still don't see the reason you mention that he is an angry BLACK man. Maybe he is just "upset."*

*Being upset over injustice might be a good thing. Let's think of it as the opposite of being apathetic. Oh, I am sorry about the footnotes. I hate footnotes too!

I mean I know why I might mention that he was an angry black man. Angry black people scare me too. I mean I know that black people have a lot to be angry about with slavery and all. I guess you could add Jim Crow laws and segregation. If you were a Republican you could even add the soft bigotry of low expectations from liberals and I think what you called "the veil of self-imposed prejudicial bondage."* I don't know what that is, but it does not sound like something I want. I was glad to hear that after your family met you they were able to 'de-cloak' themselves from the misty veils of self sabotage and false consciousness.

*You can't go stealing ideas like False Consciousness around a Marxist like me without at least some kind of attribution. I mean Karl Marx thought of that first. Let's give my man his due. MmK? Just another quick question Mark, just how is it you know about False Consciousness since it is a totally communist bit of propaganda? Did you go to college?

So I guess Black people have a lot to be angry about. Probably not as much as American Indians. But we took all their land and killed them just so we wouldn't have to think about them.

It was not enough for Mark to call Barack Obama an "angry black man." He had to call Mrs. Obama an angry black woman. Mark is mad because Michelle Obama forgot how we saved the world from the Nazis.

For the record, I want to say that I too am glad that we killed the Nazis. Also, I think we should only look back at American history and talk about the good parts. We should skip all the bad stuff that might speak to an "angry black person" so that when she speaks about being proud of America (as a black person**) that all of us getting past our prejudices and electing a black man might just be one of the greatest accomplishments this country has ever achieved, (not better than going to the Moon) and we could hold that shit over Europe for a long time, because even though Euro's will elect a woman (god I hope not here!) they sure as shit won't vote a blacky in.

Nah. We should just stick to admonishing anyone who doesn't whitewash* our view of history. I say love it or leave it baby. Stop trying to make us better, I like America the way it is.

* Pun intended.

** get it? she was saying "as a black woman" there ain't much to be proud about a country that had you in chains, but then she said she could be real proud of how we white folk turned it around by taking the Obamas so serious like. that was mighty nice of her (also mighty uppity of her.)


I like reason number three the most because you claim "the bible" (though you don't tell us 'which' bible or even what part of the bible) says that poor people should starve to death.

I looked it up and I think you might be right* on this one.

*Bible says lots of funny things. Like I wonder if your wife was a virgin when you married her. If she wasn't I will gladly help you to stone her to death so that you can get back in God's good graces. Oh, I might add that I looked it up and you are wrong. Jesus says that you need to give me all your money, carry my coat, and let me slap you in the face. And if you don't like me making fun of Jesus then you have to forgive me, cuz Jesus said so.


In question 4 you bring up the Reverend Rick Warren. You say that he isn't a Reverend? Can I still call him that?

Mark in reason number 4 then you mention something about pay grades and I can only guess that was to show off all your expertise on obscure federal labor rules regarding pay scales and seniority. I have read your point a few times and frankly I am as confused by it as I am confused by doing my own taxes.

Either way I am not too sure that the President of the United States needs to be able to articulate a position on the metaphysical existence of the soul in clumps of cells the size of a period.

But I guess people like you really need that. What you are really saying in your cowardly bureaucratic jargon is that abortion is wrong. I get that. But just say it. Abortion is wrong. Abortion is murder. Kill the killers.

I mean I know that you know that Laura Bush had a secret abortion (I read about it on the internets) and you also know that most people don't want to outlaw abortion-even if they think it is despicable or immoral. I think you might even know that Obama is pro-choice and has never wavered in his support of choice. I am not exactly sure where the secrete agenda is that you have found hidden in Barrack's refusal of Warren's gamesmanship. But I am sure it has something to do with implanting the mark of the beast in every newborn child's hand.

Can I just say that I think Warren is fat. I don't know why his fat bothers me and my own does not. Maybe because I blame the media or giant corporations for all the ills of the world that happen to me and I blame Rick Warrens fat on gluttony which I heard was a sin punishable by stoning.


Reason number 5 brings up the Nazis again. Mark suggests that Obama's defining characteristic is one of appeasement. Mark says that we can't have no appeasement like back in 1932 or whatever because appeasement was what got us that no good Hitler.

I will again say to any who will listen that I don't like Hitler. I especially thought his treatment of Jews was "uncool" to say the least.

Of course what is worse appeasement or support? George Bush's grand pappy was fined for helping the Nazis. Ronald Reagan created the modern jihadist movement when he battled communism and took down the Ruskies in Afghan in that movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger. I think it was Rambo III. It was a good movie, but I don't think it was worth all the trouble they've been causing us since then.

I guess we could also mention how much the Bush's love them some Bin Laden. Of course if I remember correctly the last attack from Al-Queda came from 15 guys with box cutters. I say we can take'em. I know the current administration does not believe that. I guess that is why they let Bin Laden get away from us when we had him surrounded. I guess that is why Bush said he doesn't even care about Bin Laden that "he doesn't lose any sleep over him" (another real life quote!)

"But that ain't McCain!" You scream. That's Bush. Bush loves Osama not McCain.

That's right. McCain has a secret plan to get Osama Bin Laden that he has not shared with the government and will not share with Barrack Obama if Obama wins the election. He's actually said that.

Well he said he had a secret plan. So I gotta ask why he has not told someone in the Army this. I would love nothing better to get that guy. But I guess McCain would rather win an election that kill the biggest mass murderer of Americans by terrorism. Talk about your Country First!


"You and your party tacitly believe that a 13 or 14 year old girl must have the parents approval to have the school nurse provide them with a Tylenol when they have a headache at school. Yet, this same girl can become pregnant and the school can skirt her off to a clinic and abort the child in her body without the parents knowing or being notified. This scares the hell out of me. You have two little girls. Would you be upset if this happened to them and you were not informed? Then why do you stand for this? It makes no sense to me."

Mark, you've figured it out. We secretly believe that a nurse should have the ability to hand out Tylenol to a student only if the parents sign a permission slip. We also believe permission slips should be needed for things like chocolate milk, soda, and attending seminary classes.

We never tell the world that school nurses are trained professionals and we are confident in their ability to administer over the counter medication. How can I be upset that you are on to this part of the plan we Dem's have?

I am upset that you discovered our little plan to save some money via universal healthcare and allow school nurses to "wisk" your children away to the janitorial supply room with a coat hanger to rip out your child's unborn. I can tell you from experience that coat hangers are cheap, but messy. I am sure very few Democrats support things like getting doctors or judges to sign off on abortions. We democrats know that you can always get your parents permission to abort one of the mongrel offspring you implanted in your child. Because daddy should get to visit his baby's vagina first.


Up till this point, Mark, I thought you did a good job of hiding how stupid you are. But then you just had to go and let it out. Point 7 has something to do with how Obama is worrisome, because a few of his supporters(out of his millions) cozy up with the likes of people like Hugo Chavez.

We can't have that. We cannot have people in the country cozing up to vicious killers. I mean it's not like the government of the United States of America has ever propped up dictatorships. We over here in the good ol' USA would never support regimes like Augusto Pinochet, Ferdinand Marcos, The Shaw of Iran, or the countless brutal and authoritarian governments that we have set up as proxies in Central America and around the globe. I mean I am sure we were the first government to get all of our money out of South Africa because of the practice of Apartheid.

Oops. I guess we didn't. My guess is Republicans don't like Hugo Chavez because unlike Republicans he gets elected to office. I know how you guys hate democracy and all. You are far more comfortable with being appointed to the presidency by the Supreme Court.


I am sure none of the reasons you listed have anything to do with race. But they also have nothing to do with reality, or the truth. You racist pig and supporter of fascism!

Yours Truly,

Romius T.

Monday, October 27, 2008

I work 12 days in a row

I was going to work on my long form piece about how Barrack Obama is the Mikhail Gorbachev of the American Left. But when I explained my idea to a few friends none of them got it. They did not see the connection, and I have to admit there really is none. Other than the connection all the right wing nuts see because they assume Obama is a Marxist.

I am sure one day I will finish the article and I will post it. Until then I wait for the Fed EX guy to bring me my phone. I woke early this morning. I was tossing and turning at 8 am jumping up at every noise that sounded like a knock at the door. None of the sounds I heard was from the Fed Ex guy knocking, just the random sounds of my ghetto neighborhood.

I decided to write this post even though I have to go work in like 15 minutes. Today is the 8th straight day I have worked, and you would think that would make me rich, but you are wrong. Somehow I will end up with only 32 hours this week. I forgot to pick my schedule this week and ended up with three days. I had to beg for a couple of day from co-workers and since my co-workers are lazy that was pretty easy. What that means is that I have a bunch of 4, 5 and 6 hours shifts that nobody wanted and I had to put off my day off until Friday. That sucks for me because I am burned out on this job.

Speaking of burning things I am going to go make some Corn Beef and Cabbage. I will add some red potatoes to my crock pot and when I get home tonight I will feast like it is St. Patty's Day. I even have left over Tecate beer to swig it down with.

Things are looking up.

Not really, but I do like me some Corn Beef.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

An open letter to my "crazy" Barack Obama fearing Mom


I'm sorry to hear your point of view on Barrack Obama. I do not worry about Barrack. I am not concerned that he is a closet Communist/Muslim who may or may not be bringing "the end times."

I worry that he is less liberal than Bill Clinton. His voting record and political career suggests he is a moderate always looking to compromise. Despite his drawbacks I can not vote for anyone else.

I do not want anything to do with the right wing of this country. Bush won a "compromised" election in 2000. Since then he cut taxes on the wealthy, suspended the 4th amendment,spied on Americans, allowed terrorists to attack our country, used signing statements to subvert the rule of law, started 2 wars (and lied to invade Iraq who had nothing to do with 9-11), smashed the separation of church and state, drove the nation into massive debt, gave away trillions of dollars to corporate powers, the list goes on. What is the difference between our country and the "fascism" of Fascism? We do not kill Jews. Yet.

What we don't need is more pandering to the religious right in this country. I am not worried that Barrack is secretly a black power, Muslim bent on subverting what is left (so very little left) of our constitution by converting us by the sword to Islamic belief. I am far more worried about Palin's insane religious views, because they represent a portion of the mainstream of American thought. The alleged Islamic beliefs of Obama would find no support from Americans. The hyper unreal beliefs of right winged religious nuts like Sarah Palin and George Bush inform there every policy move and are supported by members of the moral majority.

Even if all the attacks against Obama were true, I would have faith in the power of the Constitution to restrain Obama from killing all the white people. If the people in government can convince George W. Bush that he does not get a third term, they can convince Obama that he should continue to masque his Muslim beliefs in his self proclaimed love of Christianity.

I am not at angry at all with you; however, I should point out to you though (if you are not aware) that I am an Atheist and a card carrying member of the Communist Party (USA). I vote Democratic because that party represents at least a brake on the corporate institutions which dominate the political landscape. But my beliefs are firm and I have considered them carefully.

Since I am an Atheist and Communist I would like nothing more than to smash the economic system we live in. We live in a country that "Socializes" the risk of entrepreneurial capitalism, but privatises the gains. I see no reason to worry that Obama will bring communism. We have socialism here already, but it is socialism for the rich. The bailouts are just the latest example of this.

I would like nothing more than to see our country return to clear dividing wall between church and state. I take no comfort in knowing that a republican president would protect my right to not believe. A republican comes down on the side of the moneyed interests and religion, not the working class and free thinking.

The video you suggested has been flying around the country for quite some time and has been debunked on numerous occasions. I assume proof at this point will not suffice. I will not offer any.

I could adopt the strategy of the anti-Obama people and remind you that at the first debate Obama wore an American flag pin and McCain did not. That Sarah Palin's church has witch doctors, they lay hands on her, they are Pentecostal which means they play with snakes and talk in tongues. That Sarah Palin's husband belongs to an Alaskan secessionist group ( The Alaska First Party) a group that so hates America they make Iran look like our best friend.

You can find videos of the leader of this hate group saying things I would not have said about this country when white men were allowed to own black men. Sarah Palin gave speeches to this group. She may allow Alaska to leave the Union if she gets to be president (and don't we need Alaska's gas?)

The video below shows Sarah Palin telling a treasonous group that they do great work.

I have seen videos of Sara getting healed by her pastor and "hands placed upon her" as she thanks this witch burning doctor (he brags he hunts down witches like there is something called a witch that has powers and needs to be cured of her demons -Palin nods her head during all this because she agrees. Then she gets up and tells the witch burning doctor "thanks" for "givin' her the governorship."

I could make a video as scary as the video you saw and if you did not know any better would make you run for the Canadian border if McCain won. To sum up: I do not believe Barack Obama is the anti-Christ.

(If he were is it not "god's will"? I find the second point to be dangerous and typical of the right wing extremist position. I am sure that (deleted) women believes something to that effect.)

I must say I am surprised at your conversion to religious dogma. When did this occur? I can not as a child recall you ever using religious tinged explanations to describe the empirical or phenomenal world (that is the world of experience).

As a child I do not recall any conversation about God with you, or your belief in him. I do recall attending memaw's church. I recall after Dad left you never took us to church again. I know Aunt D. was a Catholic and I knew you and Dad had some vague belief in a "Christian" god. I know know that Aunt N. was churchy. She watched all those preachers who talk of prosperity all the while asking for donations at every oppurtunity. Religion was kept to Sunday in our house (and only a few Sundays) and talk of God's will would have sounded absurd.

I know that good Baptists like to leave it up to the individual to come to terms with choosing god. I always assumed that is why you left me the choice to believe or not to believe. I've always considered that to be your finest parenting gift.

I would just like to ease your fears.

Obama is less liberal than Bill Clinton who was just a liberal Republican in sheep's clothing. The End Times is not coming. Obama is not the closet Anti-Christ that is thought to be foreseen in the book of Revelations (no matter what your good friend g. thinks) nor is he a secret buddy of Osama Bin Laden.

FUN FACT: Did you know that George H. W. Bush was having a meeting with Osama Bin Laden's family around the time of 911?

"George H. W. Bush attended an investment meeting at the Washington, D.C. Ritz-Carlton hotel on September 10, 2001 and in particular a meeting with Shafiq bin Laden, representing joint interests of the Saudi Binladin Group and Carlyle."

IF you are concerned at all with terrorism and links to the Osama Bin Laden look no further than the Bush clan. There are a number of conspiracy videos that link 9-11 to the US government and George Bush. I think the most popular one is a movie called Zeitgeist. You could google it.

It will scare you. It also talks about the Federal Reserve System, the illegal nature of payroll taxes on Americans, and the weirdly similar nature of Egyptian gods to the the story of the risen Christ that purports to expose the Christian god as untrue.

I am not worried that Obama will lead us to the end of times. I am worried that if Palin gets into power she will bring on Armageddon because she wants 'the end of times' so she can be with her Jesus. I think she'd push the bomb and blow us all to hell. Barrack is just a democrat. He will bow to the media, corporate powers, the right wing, and all the special interests that all the other politicians bow to. Obama is simply the better choice for working people, and that is how I decide who I vote for.

The attacks you have read about Obama come from the some place that attacked McCain for having a black baby out of wedlock in South Carolina. They are the same "swift boat" attacks that said John Kerry was a coward even though he served in Vietnam and was shot at. (Unlike that coward GW.) I know Kerry said things that veterans (and your husband) don't like, "Stop the war we are massacring people."

(I'm sorry 3 million dead in Vietnam is not a massacre it is genocide. American history is full of Genocide. Natives, black slavery, The Philippines, Panama, etc.)

Mom, the video and other attacks you read on Obama are just swift boat attacks, they are swift boat in nature, they reveal themselves as swift boatian in the light of careful reasoning.

I would ask you to consider how the Democratic Party missed all the claims you hear. Why is there nothing in the mainstream media? Why would not John McCain say something in a debate in front of 65 million people? McCain loves his country. If McCain thought Obama was a Muslim terrorist, (and if the claims that accuse him are so backed in fact and truth) would he not have a moral duty to expose Obama for the fraud that he is?

Is McCain part of a secret plan to get the Anti-Christ in power? Is he Judas in the last days? Do you not worry about the rationality of the arguments that are needed to anchor such ideas?

One can disagree about the direction of this Country.

I think our country has been going down hill for 8 years.

One can disagree about if we need change.

I think only a complete rejection of the Bush Doctrine will enable our Country to prosper and survive.

One can make a case for either candidate to help.

But I think one candidate will continue the policies of the last 8 years and the other will offer us hope and real change.

But the idea that Obama is not a loyal American that he is a black extremist, or secret communist who is bent on subverting the constitution and handing our Christian saved souls over to Caliph of the Dajjal* does not bear scrutiny. It does not rise to the level of rational plausibility.

Visit the website stopthe smears to learn about Barack Obama's side to the questions that have been raised by these attacks.

Next year when Barrack Obama lowers your taxes you will have a laugh at all this. You will stop worrying that Kenya is going to invade the US. And I will spend my tax rebate on a trip to Florida. You will see. It will all be ok. I promise.

Your son.

p.s. The government reads your e-mail.
*(The antichrist of muslim theology)

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Why fat chicks love sex more than you

I was told I was fat because I have lifestyle issues not because, "it is in my DNA." Life style issues? I don't know what that guy is talking about. I don't have any life style "issues." I like my lifestyle. I have been drinking coke and surfing the net all day. I drove to McDonald's for lunch so I could buy a Big Mac Meal because they have their Monopoly promotion on again.

I have to say that buying Big Macs is a great investment strategy right now with the Stock Market in the tubes and all. For 7 dollars I got a large Bic Mac meal and two bags of ice. The super sized Big Mac meal came with 6 free chances to win a prize, so I feel like I am finally on the road to financial recovery.

Friday my work reissued my lost payroll check. I cashed it and took all the money to 7-11 to pay my electric bill. The kiosk took all my money, but it did not credit my account. I called the customer service number and they promised me that the money is going to be credited soon. "Maybe Wednesday or Thursday." The operator said. I told her that was kinda shady and she told me to stop eating chocolate graham crackers and cola after eating a Big Mac for lunch. I wanted to tell her to mind her own business, but she has a point. I'm fat. And because I am fat I promised to tell you the secreet to why fat chicks love sex. I will, but hang on for a second. I'm not done talking about me yet.

I need to buy a tire, because I got a flat the other day. I think the tire is going to cost me a hundred bucks. I haven't made a truck payment to Card Shard this month. I need to do that this week, or at least at some point this month. I need to shop around for cheaper car insurance, because 120 dollars a month is too much to pay for a 2001 truck.

I do have some good news on the finance side. I have not received the bill for the internet which means I can still blog at home for you before I go to work. I won 280 dollars at poker last night. My share is 140 dollars and with it I can buy a new tire even if Walmart refuses to honor the warranty Card Shark says he has on the flat.

I have 21 minutes before I need to get ready for work and I am down to my last chocolate graham cracker cookie and I have not even started all the research I need to do in order to deliver to you my newest report on why fat chicks love sex so much.

My initial hypothesis is an extension of an earlier theory I had on why the retarded love sex so much. If the mentally retarded are going to survive in the world they need to reproduce at a higher rate than the non-retarded. That is why evolution equips the retarded with an almost insatiable curiosity for sex. The retarded are constantly playing with themselves and dry humping unsuspecting visitors anytime some one knocks at the door.

I am not sure about "legally," but ethically you can't rape a retard because they love sex so much. I am pretty sure the same thing goes for fat chicks. If you have ever had sex with a fat chick then you know how grateful they are for penatration. FAt Chicks loves cock and even though you have heard the rumors that fat chicks gobble down all day on your rod because they are woried you will leave them for a skinny chick, I am telling you to skip the foreplay and go straight to the fucking.

As soon as you put it in a Fat chick she will scream like you are cutting through her with a chainsaw. I don't know about you, but I like a loud fuck. I like it when the girl bucks and screams your name and claws your back and begs you to put it in "deeper."

I did some research on the internet and by research I mean I watched a lot of fat chick porn on the internet. You know that I review amatuer porn clips but that I can never find a site that lets me embed the clips. I figured out why. I forgot that the best web site for embedding porn clips is Red Tube. Here is a fat chick. They look limber when they bang you.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

I've always wanted to hit a woman

I've been fasting so you probably shouldn't take anything I say seriously. I tried to quit drinking coke today. I had 2 cokes for breakfast. At work I drank tea with no sugar. I gave up fasting 3 minutes ago and cracked open an ice cold can of coke. I gulped it down as quickly as I could. I got such a rush that I popped open a second can. I am trying to type for at least a few seconds before I drink that one.

I know I am not supposed to tell you that I've always wanted to hit a woman. I just wonder what it would be like. I don't think it is such a big deal. To be honest most days the thought never enters my mind. Women have hit me before. But I've never taken the idea seriously when given the opening.

I know I've lost a few of you for good here with this post and that's ok with me. I know that you are going to say that I have crossed a line and some lines you just can't cross. You CAN'T TALK about the idea of wanting to hit a woman.

That's funny to me. I've never hit a woman. I never will. My momma raised me right. I just think it is odd how we can't talk about something that every single man has thought at least once in his life. A few men hit all the time. I think we need to understand why.

I will never hit a woman, but I have hit a man before.

Imagine if I had led off with the statement, "I have hit men in my life." Ask yourselves if you would feel threatened by me. Would you consider the statement by itself to be toxic? I will wager you that would not have. That's because it is ok to hit a man. Men are violent and we expect violence from men towards men. Moreover; women demand violence from men.

A women will always question the masculinity of a man afraid to be violent towards another man. Every woman I date expects me to perform "violence" if the need arises. I would never expect the same from my date. I would not question her loyalty to our relationship if she failed to intercede on my behalf during an altercation. The reason for that is simple. I do not require my partner to engage in fisticuffs, not because I have "evolved" any more than the average women, I just grew up in a society that does not require women to be physically aggressive. Because of that I know I could not count on a women to help me if I were in trouble. Society explains to men early on that men must battle the world alone.

Conventional wisdom suggests that if women ruled the world we would have peace. The secret to understanding why war still exists lies not in the violent genetic disposition of men, but in how society acts upon that tendency.

Any woman who has suffered at the brutal hands of another woman's merciless teasing knows full well the cruelty that resides in their sex. Women use stealth rather than force only because women do not come prepared for physical combat the way men do. Women lose fist fights between men and women.

I can never get an agreement from women on this point. They all seem to want to say that woman are as tough as men, that they could whip us in a fight. At the same time they want to say that women are more peaceful than men. I guess from the female perspective, men are lucky that women are holding back on us. I tend to see violence in a woman's desire to argue with me over their inate ability to crush me.

I wrote this post because I was just curious to see when both men and women are going to awaken to the realization that we could live in peaceful society. Most of us are so tied into are our animal concerns about surviving that we are willing to live with violence because we fear danger. The fear of danger is the most pernicious enemy of a healthy society.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Kim Kardashian proves she is "all real" by posting jail bait pictures of her 14 year old body in a bikini. All I can say is thank you!

I am not sure what I am supposed to do with this other than thank god for the obvious gift he has bestowed upon us. I know you think I am an atheist just because I went to see Bill Mahr's movie Religiulous and when the kid in the red shirt jumped up after the movie and screamed, "I am not convinced!" I simply replied, "I am not surprised."

While that makes me a non-believer I still like to thank god for all the little things he gives me like a picture of a untalented porn and reality tv show star when she was just 14 and all natural.

I am pretty sure that shot is right out of OIU magazine circa 1984. I always loved Oui magazine because Oui is way sluttier than Playboy. Oui showed vagina lips and focused on hairy bushed women (a la the famous Demi Moore shot) before we knew that hairy bushes where not ok. I never took a razor or a clipper anywhere near my pubes until I was in my late 30's.I am sure that it way too late for me now to pretend to be down with the clean shave look, but I try because girls seem to like it.

Friday, October 03, 2008

You maybe the only person wondering where this blog has been, but I still think you count

I know Bathos does not have as many followers as the Self Help Center does, and that's ok with me. I did not stop posting here for that reason. I stopped blogging in Bathos because it can be difficult keeping up with just one blog at a public library computer terminal. I still believe in this blog like I believe in you. I know if you read this blog you are very hip "to it" and smart because you know what you like and you don't care what the rest of the world says.

You like chocolate shakes and romance novels, and guys that make fun of Sarah Palin. And you would sleep with just about anyone you could convince to go singing Karaoke with you. I don't blame you for that.

I mean I do hate that let's all pretend we can sing Korean bull shit, and I will never sing for you even though I do the best Neil Diamond impression you have ever heard, and I sing like William Shatner whenever I cover any song by a female artist.

I know I just made you wet and I know you can't help how frothy your vagina gets when you get all worked up. I just don't like thinking about all that extra juice you have down there, but I guess I am going to have to, just like I am going to have to at least "promise" to stick it in you if I am ever going to convince you to go down on me.

I sat on this post for a day or so thinking maybe a little bit of inspiration would help me write. I know I was wrong because I still don't have any inspiration and according to my stats this blog is just sitting here dying from neglect.

I know what you are thinking. I've never really had a plan for this blog and if you don't have a plan then you have planned for failing. But you believe in a lot of retarded shit so I won't hold that against you.

I think the problem is that I am spreading myself too thin. I have 4 blogs (yes, that means I have a secret blog you don't know about) and a podcast to get to, and there is no possible way you can actually come up with that much material every day if you want the material to be any good.

If this blog had a theme it would be easier to write. At least then you would know what to expect. When you read my other blogs you know what you are getting yourself into. The Self Help Center has my rants and daily life. It is part work blog, part diary, part character driven. I have no idea what this blog is. I was hoping to make it a blog that shows off my humor stylings. I also wanted a place where I could be more political and gossipy and just plain bloggy (not personal bloggy) if that makes any sense and of course it does not.

I really need to post a podcast. I have had almost a thousand downloads in the past 2 months so I think that means I have an audience. I also want to devote some time to my secret blog in the hopes that it will take off and make me rich. I know that won't happen. I have spent more money on my blog hobby than I could ever see back, but I don't mind because I know that the 10 people who read me really need me in their empty lives. And since my 10 readers are needed by 10 people in the real world and those people influence other people, well you can see how important this blog writing thing is to the whole world. So when I can't think of anything to blog I want you to know that won't stop me from blogging.

I know you guys worried that I might stop writing because I have a computer at home. You thought I could go back to not posting much, but don't worry I think I am going to keep up the manic posting schedule that I have created. Just for you, and your loved ones, and all the Cosmic Karma I can suck out of you codependent bastards.

Sunday, September 14, 2008


One of my literary heroes is dead today. David Foster Wallace, the author of Infinite Jest, has committed suicide.

I have mentioned Mr. Wallace a number of times on this blog. If you have never read any of his work take the time to go read one of his last short stories published at the New Yorker for free.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Sarah Palin "pray for pipelines, it is god's will."

"Our job is to pray and make sure that God's will is done."

Creepy stuff. First of many in the Sarah Palin watch.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Watch Paris Hilton Take On John McCain and Kick his ASS!

I know. Paris Hilton. She is all that is wrong with America. Insanely hot. Rich. A total bitch who would never sleep with me. But she teamed up with some funny ass writers at funny or die and delivers onefunny video. I am officially on team Paris. The acting is actually really good in the video. The writing is top notch. "See ya at the debates, bitches" Paris Hilton is comedy.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Monday, July 28, 2008

I blog my day off in which I come to learn I can't decide how long to talk on the telephone.

Whatever strange depression I am going through shows it self in a peculiar symptom. I am unable to judge for myself how long a telephone conversation is supposed to last. I just got off the phone with an ex of mine and we talked for close to 2 hours. Most of the conversation like all conversations you have with young mothers involve the mother yelling at her child to go to sleep, or to climb off her lap, or just leave her the hell alone. That's because mothers hate their children for the most part and you can't really blame them. Children pee in the bed. Children climb down stairs to rearrange the salt and pepper shakers.

I guess that makes me lonely. That I would talk to this girl for so long. We don't have much in common. Shivers get sent down my spine when I overhear how she interacts with her children. Like she read some "how to ensure your kids become white trash" child rearing manual. Not that she ever reads.

Speaking of bad behavior and children, my good friend Miley Cyrus is at it again. She recorded a Youtube video where she and her best friend make fun of another Disney star. Miley is pissed that her boyfriend got stolen from her and is acting out like the crazed 40 year old alcoholic that is buried in her soul. I know some people are going to watch this clip and think that Miley comes off asa bit of bitch. But watch the video take off around the 2:17 mark. Miley goes off on some kind of riff about how on her videos "we don't do trick questions" and you will see some true comedic satire at its best. (I am not being sarcastic!)

Just like Miley I can't make decisions. I had a hard time trying to decide what or where to eat lunch today. I decided I wanted a Philly cheese steak. I went to buy the cheese steak from that place in the mall that sells cheese steaks and makes awesome fries they serve in a drinking cup. When I got to the mall I noticed that a meal deal cost 8 dollars and 50 cents for just a 7 inch sub. I felt that was too much money to spend on one meal when I knew that I could purchase a package of 7 steak (Y)ums for $3.50 along with 6 wheat sub buns from my bakery for $2.49.

I drove to my grocery store. The whole store gets very excited to see me when I am not working. One of the girls had been on vacation for two weeks ran up to me to tell me all about her vacation. I could tell she wanted to hug me, but she is married so we both held back. I have a feeling if I ever hugged her I would give her very first orgasm and she would become addicted to standing next to me and I don't think I need that kind of thing happening as I also don't see her leaving her husband necessarily which I think would get awkward for at least one of us.

Several other people spoke to me to tell me I looked very preppy today. I had on
a pair of jeans and my newest shirt. It is a polo style shirt from No boundaries that I purchased from Walmart for 9 dollars. It is white with blue stripes and fitted. I guess I look good in it as I got a great deal of attention and I did not even shave today. I know the Internet says that women prefer men with stubble and that there are even evolutionary studies that back this up. I am not quite certain why that is. Maybe my massive female readership can clue me into the reason.

I want to take this time to tell you that the self help center podcast has a forum section and you should make your way over there and join the community of fans that I am sure will be getting there any minute. I have started a few topics that I am sure will be worthy of your time and focus on the many issues which I discuss regularly on my blogs. Mostly you can the forum as an opportunity to start posting all those jail bait pics you have on your computer before your sister accidentally discovers them and then wipes out your hard drive, or threatens to tell your dad who will probably just have you arrested, and then all those pictures get sealed under court order as evidence, and then they will all but be lost to the world of pedarasty.

I cooked a chicken today with a faulty turkey timer. I bought the cooking timers for 10 cents at the discount items table in the hopes that they would take the guess work out of cooking entire chickens. I had to leave the chicken in for an additional 20 minutes after the turkey timer popped, so I guess that plan did not work which is just another confirmation that nothing ever happens the way you want it, so the only thing you can do is start liking what is actually happening or get bitter, and I think you should know that liking shit is not what I am about so prepare for me to get bitter.

Bitter is the only time I enjoy talking to my ex. We discuss how we hate being romantic and how we both have given up on trying to find somebody only in her case people actually want her and ask her out and the closest I come to being asked out is when the customer service slut calls me to pick my schedule and I tell her I am naked and she continues on the phone with me and when I tell her that, "this is close as we will ever get to having sex" and she answers by telling me "probably" and I take that as meaning that there is a chance we could have sex and I am going to hold her to that and all she does is giggle afterwards which means I really do have a chance because this girl has no clue about boundaries and now I just wished I was her cousin or something in the 5th grade because we'd get to see each other all the time and whatever I convinced her to do in the closet with me would remain between us because people with fucked up boundaries always keep secrets from the people they should really be telling and telling secrets to people who would be most likely to take advantage of them and if that does not sound like consent to you then you sir have way too many boundaries.

I still don't have a single digg on my podcast over at There really is no excuse.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

I know I can't worry about you judging me for this post so that's why I went ahead and posted it

The day after I shot a man in the face was the first time I ever felt powerful, so I guess you can't blame me for scooping up the latest pictures of Miley Cyrus looking like a slut for your enjoyment. I don't like looking at a picture like this because unlike you I am not that much of a voyeur. I like having a normal girlfriend and a normal relationship life. That is why I am attracted to good looking, funny, and intelligent women-not the little girls you like. But I post these pictures as a service to you so you can jack off to them and stop circling the playground so much and worrying all the soccer moms that got that flyer from the sheriff's office with your picture on it. I know what you are thinking, if I am attracted to smart good looking chicks what is the problem? Why am I still single? How hard can it be since I like girls who are legal? I'd like to think it has something to do with how I am picky and I like really attractive women, but I think it has to do with how smart, cute, funny girls have standards and I never measure up well to standards, because unlike pedophiles I never practice trying to pass statistical tests. I am a creative type and we need more freedom and breathing room than the facts and figures can give.

You should think of me like an independent film with subtitles and no plot even though I am an American. I don't open the big screens like Batman does, but every once in a while a movie like me comes along and even though the first part is boring you start to appreciate a film where the character gets developed and the plot moves along in congruence with the feelings and ideas of a flesh and blood person, not simply as the side show for special effects.

I know what you are thinking that sometimes even quirky independent movies suck and you are sick and tired of how all the so called "quirky" characters in independent films are all really the same. That might be true, but sometimes when you floss your teeth they bleed out for three hours, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't go ahead and floss them once a week anyway.

Either way it appears that Miley Cyrus has no idea how to stop acting like a whore despite all the bad press, and I guess that is a good thing for you. It just goes to show you that god had something planned out right when it comes to repopulating the Earth with sluts. Every few years the sweet pre-teen with braces who loves daddy and jumps in the garden sprinkler grows breasts and discovers for herself that empowerment means having power, and since she does not have power in the real world she begins toying with the idea of using her sexual awakening against the pathetic man-boys staring at her through closed windows hoping to get a peak at her nipples when the water begins to work its magic on her bathing suit.

I don't know if you can tell the difference between this post and any other post I have written, but I will tell you that I was totally phoning this one in. The sad thing is I could write five or six of these posts a day and if I added a few more pictures of Miley and Britney I'd end up making a few dollars a week from Adsence. Instead I work hard all week looking for inspiration because I am stuck with the idea that you are looking for a blog with integrity. Even though I only write when I want to I still get worried that the people who read this blog are bored waiting around for the three posts I write a month, because they have decided that my blog is just not worth it if they are not sure what I stand for. I think you should give me a break and not force me to tell you in graphic detail what I do here, because if anything that only stokes the disdain I have for the audience which only means fewer posts for you. By now if there is something I should not have to tell you, it's that if carefully defined I have a great deal of integrity.

That's why I am always trying to come up with a new angle to attract someone other than the mid 30's married alternative mom that I can't seem to meet in real life, but only on the net where they are already married and ridden down with offspring, so I really have no hope of getting them to jump ship with me, so I guess I will always be alone, because I live in a town full of crack heads and old people who care more about money than well defined integrity. I guess what I am saying is that my sense of integrity compels me to point out how wrong it is for a preteen girl to feel OK about subtly using the power of her sexual awakening against a horde of horny social misfits for profit all the while complaining about all the misunderstandings that she is perfectly aware she is creating. Confusion about your burgeoning sexuality is not only natural, but is inherently a private affair; hence, it is no one's business. Not even a perverts. But the naked manipulation of said sexuality for purposes of avarice leaves one open to critique which is why you will find Miley's photos posted here. I hope you all appreciate how much I have had to hold your hand here, and explain things to you because then you can then begin to understand how much smarter I am than you. I know how thankful you are for this service, but it only fills me with pity for you. All this anxiety gives me a pit in my stomach that grows ever more hallow. I am sure you are all the reason I have acid reflux and throat cancer, and one day when I can't breathe from my esophagus closing in on me I want you to have a nice ceremony at my funeral where you engage my blog in the literary theory that you took at community college, which on second thought will probably end up sounding a lot like some small town Oprah Winfrey's book club meeting, so maybe I am having second thoughts on that. Maybe you could just convince a middling blogger to give me some air time now that it is clear to the world that I am not a pedophile just a hard working social critic.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Cut Off Your Pussy: A three part treatise on the history and evolution of the sexual double standard


The old sexual standard

A BRIEF PRIMER ON THE HISTORY OF THE SEXUAL DOUBLE STANDARD: the ancient sexual double standard stems from primitive woman's weakness.

Why do we need to learn about the double standard? Because you can't spend more than 5 minutes on the Internet looking for the latest self pics of Disney teen stars without being interrupted by some middle aged feminist and her gravity obeying tits shouting, "My VAGINA IS UGLY AND THAT IS SO NOT FAIR! Why DO MEN GET BETTER LOOKING WITH AGE? Why ARE ONLY WOMEN JUDGED FOR THEIR BEAUTY?"

How you can learn to stop blaming men for the sexual double standard...and start loving YOUR EVOLUTIONARY HISTORY.

Not so long ago during the infancy of our species, womankind, struck a Faustian bargain with the male sex. Man promised to protect woman. The task of protecting woman was not easy. Woman wants shoes. Many shoes. Woman carries shoes even at risk of getting eaten by bears.

Man evolved from his selfish animal need to survive in order to satisfy his promise to protect woman, which is why men walk on the outside of a sidewalk when on a date. Men know their bodies can't stop cars, and it really doesn't make a difference because the odds of getting run over are small and getting in the way of a car is not really going to slow the car down, but women accept this token of protection because they get the pleasure of knowing we promise to die first.



[see part three]


MAN EVOLVED FROM A (RELATIVE) POSITION OF STRENGTH TO CREATE CULTURE, on the other hand, women are weak and evolve towards cuteness.

Nature has a communication method all its own. When a thing is cute that is nature's way of saying, "Ignore me. I am not a danger to you. Also please don't eat me." No creature will eat anything cute. It's just not done. That is why the panda and the koala bear survive.


a WoMAN is "cute," because she is no threat [evolutionary SPEAKING] to MAN.

Because women are weaK, women MUST be cute. Women do that thing where they trace their finger down your arm when they are walkING away from hugging you. They lose hair in all the right places. They are soft and like to smell like vanilla. I like those things about women. So do the lions and jackals. We must accept the evolutionary truth that "iN THE PAST IT MADE PERFECT SENSE fOR A WOMAN TO CEDE CONTROL OF HER BEING TO HER MAN FOR PROTECTION."


A woman will tell you men that it doesn't matter what your dick "looks like." When the woman wishes to seduce a man in order to aquire his protection she will will tell him,"that it does not matter how big or small your penis is." In addition, she will tell him that she does not care how big or fat or how bald he is, because looks are not as important to women as they are to men.

The woman who tells you "looks are unimportant to her" knows an important fact, but has stretched that fact to fit a lie.


AN ASIDE: The differing superficiality of the sexes should be understood as the differing mating strategies of the sexes.



For eons women have complained that men seek only beauty in a mate. ( They forgive us when we create the David, or mono lisa, or the empire state building, do they not?) Was this also not because in the past the only commodity a woman had to offer was the beauty of her offspring?

Women who complain about men who place a high imporance on thier mate's beauty are simply those women nature has failed to bestow its bounty on. It is a defense used by the ugly.

REMEMBER an ugly woman is a weak woman from the point of view of nature.

The ugly woman seeks to distract the male from his natural mating strategy: to procreate with the most attractive female available. An ugly woman seeks to contaminate beauty by conflating it with superficiality. This is an effective and deviously clever strategy. Naturally man is wary of the superficial. Man's caution around superficiality is the reason why he owns only 3 pairs of shoes at a time, a number most women find unfathomable.


Man is not superficial. His desire for the most attractive female available is simply the most effective mating strategy nature has ever developed.


A woman who is obsessed with superficial will spend the resources of a man foolishly. With his resources wasted a man can not protect his mate, nor could he aquire additional mates he desires. This is why a woman marries as rich a man as she can, but spends him to the poor house.

Therefore; men are naturally wary of superficial women. An ugly (but clever) woman exploits this weakness by suggesting that the male preoccupation with attractive mates is superficial spending. But a woman will never admit her concern with male 'superficiality' is mearly her displeasure over male mating strategies that place her at the bottom of the rung.


Women don't care about 'your looks,' because they know looks are not highly correlated with money. The secret to the old sexual double stand was that men WERE not judged on looks but on their earning potential*.

translation- A woman uses your income to measure how much you can protect them from the cruelty of nature.




Man hoped for peace between the sexes by developing culture. Culture provides protection for both sexes and offers the possibility of equality for all. But nature has selected against this possibility. Men are selected for the qualities of the past. Men are aggressive and ugly. Science has shown the female body is preferred by lesbians, straight men and straight women. Only gay men prefer the male body. In the immediate future there is a distinct possibility that woman will likely out earn man. She is already considered the better looking sex. Power will shift slowly but inexorably from man to woman.

Once again a bitter inequality in nature will arise. As man transforms nature to reflect the softer characteristics of the female he will naturally dig his own grave.




Man-pussy eliminates the ugly vagina. No longer will thousands of women be subjected to the horrors of a labiaplasty. In the future we will be the "best of both worlds." Droopy tits will be a thing of the past. We all get Firm and Voluptuous implants for breasts.

We keep the dick!

Personally I can't wait for the future.

eric schaeffer on the coming revolution:

Your boyfriends, husbands, and pals are fantasizing about sucking tranny dick - June 27, 2008

Okay geniuses, this lesson is for you. Listen up, it's a little complicated so I'm gonna go reeeeal slow. I'm a straight man. All straight men look women up and down. God made us that way. Take it up with him if you have a problem with us checking you out to see if we should impregnate you to propagate the species. The same desire women have to doll themselves up so that our cocks will get hard and want to go in you to propagate the species is the same instinct we have to look at you. Straight Darwinian AND God stuff. Deal with it.


In general, gay men don't want to fuck trannies.
In general, gay men don't want to get fucked by doms wearing strap ons.
In general, gay guys... like to fuck other gay guys.
In general, women, gay or straight, don't want to fuck trannies.
In general, women, gay or straight, don't want to get fucked in the ass by doms wearing strap ons. (Obviously lesbians have a slightly higher proclivity of course but that's mainly in their pussies, not in their asses.)
In general, bi sexual guys like real cocks when they fuck guys and therefore don't go in for doms, some for trannies but less so than good ole regular gay guys


It will be the powerless, straight men of the future who will transform modern society into the Third Wave I call the Transgender society.

The only way to stop this is for women to stop asking for pay raises. Women need to stop graduating from college at higher rates. We need a more level playing field in the realm of looks. Attractive women need to mate with uglier men.

My plan may not work. But if you do not try it you might as well sew a penis to your daughter's vagina.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

My idea for a personal ad on the Craigslist


Like a lot of dudes I have my fetish requirements. You should be into preggo porn. It would help if you were already pregnant of course, but we can always work on that. I have a small penis and I think you should enjoy making fun of it. I know I do. I love asian lactation videos only because they are the only kind of lactation videos I have ever seen. I won't mind if you cheat on me, but only if I get to watch and maybe film it and then jack off to it when you are at work.

Other than those basic fetish needs I am pretty normal guy who likes the same things in bed you do. If those same things are you fucking me in the ass with a small sized dildo, wearing catholic school girl outfits, and calling me daddy.

I should also let you know that I am short, bald, and kinda chubby.

I can still suck in my gut if absolutely necessary, but not for too long.

I am a non-believer and I hate dogs and don't care for cats. I would prefer a life without animals. I don't go to church. I watch way too much TV and spend all day on the Internet in pursuit of juvenile things like making up the most prurient stories and the most obnoxious things I can think of.

I know I sound like a winner, but I drive a used car that is not paid for, and I rent a room I don't own.


I have been known to wash the dishes even after cooking. (I can't dust or use a vacuum.) i MAKE MY REFRIED BEANS WITH LARD AND BACON GREASE. You will thank me later after trying some. I hate pepsi.
I enjoy talking about celebrities and gossip. I never hit.

Looking for love is difficult. We are all looking for the same thing.
  • some one just like us, but different

Basically we all want something better than we actually deserve, only I am willing to be with you and he probably isn't, and even if he is he just wants to use you for sex where as I could actually like you.

Now that I have you excited about meeting me are there any qualities you should possess in order for me to like you?

I can't really think of any. If you got to the end of this and were not grossed out or disgusted that it is a good start. I like the girl next door type. I like a girl who can give as good as she gets. You should be witty or at least able to recognize wit. Try not to hold it against me when I say "film" instead of "movie." I like films. I also like movies. See? I am not some kinda film snob. I do like a girl with a cute face.


AGE: 37







I don't think I will be getting any responses, but if I do I will post them.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

I get hate mail from a cop

I don't usually get a lot of hate mail. In fact I get none. Which when you think about is kinda strange as I often try to write things that creep people out. Like my Internet G/F says "I am a provocateur." I couldn't say that myself without sounding a little full of it, so I let her say it for me.

But recently I got 3 pieces of hate mail. All at once. It all started after some cop read my "I hate cops" post. I guess he got offended, because he brought up how I never graduated from high school. He writes:

"I'm so cool because i follow the crowd of drop outs who have no future and blame society and "the police" for me not getting my way" "I really wish i had a father figure growing up"

This guy totally "gets" me. I like it when that happens. Also, nothing says cool like being a drop out. But my dad is gonna get pissed when he reads this. In my daddy's defense (it is father's day y'all) he was a "figure" if by figure you mean a absentee drunk who told me I would never amount to anything and I should not try, and if I did try and fail I could always blame the police and join the communist party.

"No respect what so ever..if you only knew the things we go through so you can live a happy life. seriously, without us you would be dead kid. you're just an ungreatful little prick is's ok though we are used to it. oh and by the way...donut jokes are so 1950' 5'9 225 lbs with about 4.5% body fat and I bench over 315. seriously get a clue and stop following the "omg cops like donuts...har har" crowd."*

This guys sounds so hot! And just think. Without him I'd be dead.

"your a dumbass i hope you get your face shot off and die punk ass"

Oh, well. I guess there goes his whole I am better than you because I save you. I am pretty sure he just threatened me. I think the guy should be put in jail. I bet he knows what they do to ex-cops in jail too.

Just goes to show you that cops are bullies. They don't really believe any of that crap about protecting the innocent, or defending my right to free speech. They like eating donuts. They like cars with flashing lights. They like big guns. I am sure all his gun talk has nothing to do with how his tiny man tool can't satisfy.

*it should be noted that all the misspellings are his. cops don't spellcheck. spellcheck is for fags.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

I bet you thought I wasn't writing. I was. I just wasn't publishing this shit. Is it too late to tell Tim Russert that he is a douche bag?

How the hell can you be surprised that Tim Russert died of a heart attack? People are going around saying how shocking his death was to them. The guy was a walking corn dog of cholesterol, and he was a good 200 pounds overweight. He might as well have had a "I love heart attacks" printed across his massive jowls.

Now that Tim is dead I think we should just say what we feel about him. That way we don't have to feel bad about hurting his feelings. Before he died if you hurt Tim Russert's feelings he would go to the pope's house and tell on you, and then you would have a tough time getting into heaven.

The previous paragraph was written to inform you that I know that Timmy was a Catholic from Buffalo. Being catholic, male, fat, and white means you can get a job at NBC. That has to do with the fact that the CEO of NBC was a fat catholic white dude from Pennsylvania.

I just despise the fact that Tim Russert did nothing to stop the republicans from stealing the 2000 election. I can't stand the fact that the guy lived for mouthing conventional wisdom as fact. Tim did not see through the Bush bullshit. We went to war because of the incompetence of Tim Russert. We are supposed to believe that CV somehow passes for wisdom and intelligence. Maybe in the hyper political world of D. C. But I am the kinda guy that likes a little truth with the news. Tim Russert never gave a shit about the truth. He once said that his only bias was for a "great story." That sir is a shitty bias. How about a bias for truth. How about a bias for the relative importance of a story, no matter how "big" it was. You were a reporters, reporter. And I can think of no greater insult.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

I give you Erin o Brien "On rejection"

The above video is Erin O Brien, the sister of one of my favorite writers, John O Brien. Erin came to my attention because she published the last two novels written by her brother. John O' Brien committed suicide after he wrote Leaving Las Vegas which was made into a movie that won several Academy Awards.

Erin writes and also has a video blog. She does not update the video blog often, but when she does she is very brave with her emotions regarding her career and (lack of ?) success. Mostly the vlog seems to be about rejection and the hard work of writing. I admire anyone who puts so much work into her writing.

I can identify with some of her emotional histrionics you see in her videos regarding critiques of her work. She is a bit defensive. Too much so. And some of the video and interviews I have read of her are almost funny because of that.

I got interested in reading more about Erin after reading Stripper Lessons by John O Brien. Stripper Lessons is one of my favorite books. I whole heatedly recommend it to you. I was doing a book search for other titles by O Brien when I noticed that the one title by O Brien that I had not read The Assault on Tony's was available for free reading on Google Book Search. All you bloggers will want to watch the video and check out her blog.

Friday, June 06, 2008

This is why I won't write a novel for you

The Atlantic ocean smells of turpentine. Its gray waves wash over me. The sky is overcast and the sun is dull. I smell the salt air and I watch the matronly obese cavort in the sea.

I saw her leave. Now I am the youngest person on the beach by ten years. I have a headache brought on by too much time at the beach. My bladder is full. Anytime I am near the ocean I feel an overwhelming need to urinate.

I walk down steps from the bay shore to the public bathroom. It reeks of stale urine. My head tilts. I peer into the urinal and watch a gold stream splash a urine cake. A deodorizing scent from the steam escapes towards me. I no longer smell the salt air, or the stench from human release. I smell only cancer. If cancer had a smell, I imagine it would be the smell of pissed on urinal cakes located in the back of public beach bathrooms along the Atlantic coast.

I've watched her for two hours. She has come to the ocean with friends. I take the shriveled penis and place it back in my trunks.

She sat on the sand not two hundred yards from me. She displayed to the world her modesty only. She wore shorts and a long sleeved shirt over a bathing suit. Her friends wore tiny bikinis. Each girl had a cowboy hat perched atop their heads. Their bloodshot eyes were hidden behind the fashionably large sunglasses of the 1970's.

She left with her friends, but I did not follow. I have no inclination. I Am sure I know where she is headed. I imagine she is on her way back to her parents. She will eat supper and then she will jump into her Jeep Wrangler and drive home. Alone.

I know where she works. I know much of her daily routine. I know that she is a careless person who drops her keys. I know she insists on stops at nearby donut shops for coffee when she is 30 minutes late for work.I take my time.

I enjoy even the smells of cancer on the beach. I am content to be alone. I walk back from the restroom to my beach towel on the sand. I pack my suntan lotion, and my camera phone with music player. I place those things in the pouch of my collapsible chair with built in umbrella. I stare at the ground and march the trek back to the public parking lot. I avoid the large shells and rocks that could cut my feet.

I place only the beach things in the trunk of my car. The black paint has greedily absorbed the sun today. The Volvo 740 is without air conditioning, so I drive with the windows rolled down. The car stereo works, but is not connected to the speakers.Beside me in the passenger seat is an old am/fm receiver with a large speaker.

I leave it in the seat with my windows down and the door unlocked. I have left the radio unguarded in the seat for 9 months. No one has stolen it. I switch it on and the batteries are still good. I turn the dial to the classic rock station and turn the volume up as high as it will go. At highway speeds with the wind and noise of traffic I can just make out the melody of what is playing.

My Volvo has a responsive turbo engine. I purchased the car from Vincent. I offered him 900 dollars and he promised to deliver me the title. Vincent left to San Fransisco and he never sent me the title. I drive without the title and insurance because the tags are good for 2 more years. If I do not attract attention from the police unnecessarily I should be able to drive without any of the inconvenience and cost of registration. 900 dollars well spent.
"I can kick your ass!"

She wants to test my strength. She rushes at me. Her fists are balled tightly. Her arms windmill. I grab her by the wrists and and throw her on the bed. My knees pinch her thighs apart.

I can sense the fear now. Her pale complexion has gone white. Nervous perspiration beads across her forehead. She tilts her neck upwards. I meet her forehead with mine. "Don't even fucking think you can take me." I mutter into her ear. A small smile breaks out onto her face. The futility of her arm movements cease. I relax my grip on her wrists. The prickly flow of blood returns to her hands.
I wake on my bed. The curtains are drawn and no light penetrates them. I have a painful erection. The alarm clock reads 1:36 am. I listen to the ceiling fan whirl above me. I cannot go back to sleep. I start work in only 7 hours.

If I don't get back to sleep I will be tired all day. I warn myself. I ignore my own advice. I roll out of bed and fall in a heap onto the floor. I walk sleepily into the computer office I share with my roommate. I turn on his computer and open the Internet. I check my mail and MySpace. I have several accounts.

Work is dull. I pass the time by daydreaming as much as possible. I work as a cashier at a grocery store. Sometimes customers give me 40 second breaks while they search for exact change. They rifle through their purses and billfolds like old men on the beach treasure hunting with metal detectors. When they find the nickel and two pennies buried at the bottom they exclaim aloud with the pride of a juvenile displaying his latest creation with crayons to an exasperated parent.

I think they see in me a look of wistfulness and mistake it for admiration or approval. I am just returning to the real world. In my mind I have been playing basketball. I have been enjoying the lustful embrace of their adolescent child who waits besides them.

The child is urging her parent forward with rolled eyes and a carefully constructed look of aloofness. All this dirty bill paying parents must do. All this food shopping and talking to the help is beneath them. They have text messaging to do. They have black mascara to apply in heaps and gobs. But sometimes I get a peek at the budding cleavage. That is my little secret. I do not tell mother. I do not tell father. I smile back at the parents. I take the change from them and treat it like the hero's quest has been fulfilled. I must get off the floor.

The break room is not a respite. I suffer through stories from a middle aged woman who feels no need for an age appropriate hair cut. She tells me her ex-husband called her late last night to confide in her that he was arrested for child molestation.

I like the idea that the ex-husband has no one else to turn to other than his swinging ex wife when confronted by the police. He lies to the police and suggests an alibi can be found with his former lover. She is outraged that her good name has been sullied by accusations of pederasty. She had no such modesty when informing me of her participation in her husbands alcohol fueled fetishes.

I dislike her immensely for her disloyalty. Even when a romance goes bad one should remember the special bond one promises during coitus. It is no real surprise to me that she lacks morality. We live in an unethical society. All around us there is dishonor, there is suffering. There is no nobility left in the human animal. Our days are filled by the endless droning on of television. We pursue goals. We function despite constant encounters with stupidity. The Elders of Zion, the corporate fat cats, our elected leaders, they must all sit back and laugh at us each day. It is no wonder they take us for fools. We suffer for them.

We live in the same building. I can't imagine that is coincidence, though you would. I must admit I find "fate" or such ideas to be laughable. I am not as certain as I was before. Moral certainty is the only crime left to modern man. I will speak more to you on this, but right now you are not ready. I do not wish to confuse you by interloping the tale and my lessons so early.

You wish to know more about her. What is the color of her hair? It is black. The color of an ethnic Italian. Thankfully she does not have the full blood of an Italian flowing in her. I have been entranced by exotic and beautiful women before, only then to glance down at their arms to see that they are covered in dark hair. I cannot hide my contempt. I must look away. I must cease my conversations with such people. I have a fear of the malformed. My fear is natural. I will not apologize for it.

I want to follow her. The girl on the beach. But I have no idea how you go about it. I must tell you that I am not a stalker. I am only interested in following her (ok stalking if you must) as an intellectual exercise.

I am curious what it would be like. To follow. I wonder what sorts of things I could discover. I wonder what kind of changes would overcome me if I really committed to the idea of following.

I think her eyes are green. Women with green eyes disturb me. They look sick. Most green eyed women have hepatitis. Green eyes are the genetic result of jaundice. It is well established fact that I will not argue. Since I have alerted you to this one fact, perhaps you will take the good will I have engendered and apply it to understanding my endeavor.