Tuesday, January 01, 2008

It's only 663 years before the conquest, I don't know how you can celebrate New Years.

There are a lot of things I don't understand in the world. Like why American Movie Classics is playing all five Planet of the Apes movies as part of a New Years Day marathon. I have no idea what talking monkeys has to do with celebrating new years, but I never graduated from high school so you'll have to excuse me.

I love the Ape movies, but one thing I never understood about them was why those movies always tried to make you feel sorry for the monkeys. I mean the monkeys in that movie are out to kill people. It's like Ingred Newkirk from PETA made the world's greatest SCI-FI movie just to confuse my ass. Somehow that crazy PETA bitch got a bunch of homicidal talking monkeys to seem sympathetic. "Humans kill humans, but apes don't kill apes." That bit of wisdom is mouthed by Cornelius in Escape from the Planet of the Apes. Silly monkey. Humans are Apes.

I know there are things I don't understand besides all the logical inconsistencies in the Planet of the Apes movies, but I am not allowed to write about Jamie-Lynn Spears. Of course I refused to write about obvious things like britney spears baby sister getting knocked up before. I don't like writing about things as they happen. I don't want a bunch of bandwagon fans reading this blog. All ready to many people I know read this blog now. SO I have to censor everything I say. Can you imagine if corporate read my blog? Or what if any of my prospective employers look me up on MySpace? So as long as I have to censor my thoughts to the fifth order this is what you get.


Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Since I love bad ape movies where actors run around in rubber ape masks, I get a woody when they run that marathon on AMC.

Jezebelsriot said...

Happy New Year, crazy monkey. You behave yourself? No transvestite hookers on coke this year?

Romius T. said...

no transvestite hookers this year, did I blog about that? wow. IF not I should have!

I would hope the monkey muck man would be a fan of the ape movies!

CresceNet said...

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