Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Just some advice

I drive by a couple of high schools on my way to work every day. And by drive by I mean I drive a few miles out of my way so that I can watch all the teen girls clamoring around the bus stop pretending not to be watched by all the pedophiles parked along the curb in thier 1987 Buick Skylarks.

Unlike those losers I have a plan to pick up the girls. Mostly the plan is to wink at all the girls I see as they run through the cross walk. When that doesn't get me enough attention I usually honk my horn at them. I think that tells the girls that I am not just some older guy with a car and the ability to buy them beer, but that I am also way into them.

Honking at the girls doesn't work. I think some of them just think it is kinda "creepy" to honk at a random girl in a crosswalk, so sometimes I pull over and and ask the girls if they have seen my lost puppy, because it does not matter how long that scam has been run it is still the best thing going, because teen girls craveattention even more than they love puppies and candy. And teen girls love puppies enought to get in the back of a van with me.

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