Monday, August 14, 2006

To those who are 'spiritual' without being religious- Seriously, Fuck You.


I sure hope I didn't piss off all those hot hippie chicks who read this blog, but you can't be "spiritual" with out being religious.

I feel terrible about pissing off a bunch of girls who weren't gonna fuck me anyways, but I won't offer any 'props' to bitches too lazy to go to church on Sunday.

Just like I can't offer up anything good for your affection for Pier 1 furniture. This won't be the last time you hear it, but wicker furniture is so post-tacky and your preference for it brings you just a step closer to fulfilling that ultimate nightmare of yours... becoming your mother.

So quit living in denial. And go shave your fucking legs. Because the 'I shouldn't have to... it's winter' thing should be in her bag of tricks, not yours.

Would you rub his belly?

I realize there are some specifically 'spiritual' religions out there like Buddhism. But that doesn't apply to you, because you aren't Buddhist. You wouldn't know what to do if Buddha asked you to rub his belly. You looked at me like I puked on your fica when I asked you to.

And have you seen how Buddhism is practiced overseas? Very ritualistic. I think mostly it involved guardian angels and candle lighting. And only my Mexican ex-wife was into that.

So since you aren't really Big Buddha's Buddy and I am not going to let you make up your own religion, would you care to know what the fuck is going on with you?

Your sick from commodity fetishism.

You're a materialist and not even the cool kind. Your personality is defined not by the internal workings of your mind, but through an external identification with things.

Pretty sure Ghandi wouldn't like that. Pretty sure Ghandi would slit the throat of any chick who could find work as a Trend Spotter.

Ok maybe Ghandi wouldn't slit your throat, but his followers sure would.

7 comments:

Jezebelsriot said...

Very wonderful post, Romius. I was once confined in a small space at an airport with a nineteen year old girl that somehow found a conversational opening with every person who sat down. This conversation ALWAYS led to her being able to explain how hook suspension was spiritual transcendence for her. The fat middle aged couples sat oohing transfixed, completely pleased with themselves for experiencing such diversity. Which was really just some dumbass white girl that liked to cut herself for attention.

And I've come to terms that I am far too angry, impatient and practicical to be spiritual.

Knows It All said...

Right on man. I hate wicker.

Seriously, tell me I'm not a complete idiot but I appreciate the philosophy of the D.L., if not the faith and spirituality of Buddhism. Me thinks philosophy is the closest thing to safely creating "religion" or at least truth-seeking.

We are reading "The End of Faith" and I love it. The author cleary shares your sentiment, except I don't know if he hates wicker.

Today, I claim no religion or spirtiuality. We exist in a godless world...etc. etc. etc. Tomorrow, I'll probably revert to my catholic roots. Isn't hypocrisy the root of all religion?

What does "hippie-ness" have to do with religion or giving you any action?

romiustexis said...

My two favorite chick in the world. And you both aren't spiritual. Damn it if you both aren't married.

I must applaud your bravery as just about everybody these days is "spiritual."

I did not mean to pick on hippies but I couldn't figure out what to call people like that. Though girls who smell still won't date me. Though any chick that would cut herself for attention has low enough self esteem to be my GF!!

I just meant to pick on the average 20 to 30 something who isn't christian, they automatically proffess by default a spirituality not religiousness to themselves.

Sam harris is pretty cool , but near the end of his book he goes on about buddhism and how there are some good studies on past lives and transendental meditation. It sort of deflated the book for me.

Keep the convictions of your lives ladies. Wicker sucks for life!

Knows It All said...

Ummm....did you seriously just tell me how the book i am currently reading ends? (I'm so not good with non-fiction.)

And this hippie chic (or wannabe) does not smell. Stop insulting my peeps.

romiustexis said...

umm...oh...no..C'mon it's not like the godfather 4 i gave away the ending to.

Pain said...

You bring the wicker;

We will bring the fire!

Qu'ul cuda praedex nihil!

romiustexis said...

Right on Pain, but don't you know how much computers scare me?