Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I am not broadcasting your phone number on my podcast, even if you ask me to

I don't have a lot of common sense, which is why you shouldn't trust me to not play your voice mail that consists of you wishing to become a "superstar" by announcing your home phone number on my podcast. You don't just want to be famous you want to be a superstar, but like most kids today you don't think you need to do any work to be a superstar. You think it just happens overnight all willy nilly like.

Well babe I work hard everyday at this blog and podcast slaving away creating original content and now you want to piggyback the Romiustexis express and bag a little bit of his fame. I don't think so. I mean the most you could have asked for is to be famous like paris hilton because you haven't done anything. But you ask me to make you a superstar. I think one of the prerequisites for super stardom is talent. So for now the only superstar is me and the only one not being famous is you.

I don't think you realize that only 10 people listen to my podcast because nobody has gone to digg.com and submitted my podcast. I don't want to say that digg is a bunch of asshats for not approving me, but digg is a bunch of asshats for not approving me. Actually I do feel better after saying that. {go to digg right now and add me}

I don't think you can become famous by simply giving out your home phone number. Unless your idea of becoming famous is having 3 people call you in the middle of the night to wake you by screaming Hootie and the Blowfish lyrics to you. I for one don't advocate that kind of thing, but I can see how that kind of thing could happen to you.

I noticed from your area code that you were from New Orleans. I thought people from New Orleans were already famous enough. I mean I am pretty sure that was you snatching tv's from a flooded Best Buy, wasn't it?
I have another bit of advice for you. I think I might need to teach you how to hang up a telephone. Your speaking on the voicemail lasts 20 seconds or so, but the message is 3 minutes long. I think you forgot to hang up, or maybe just the last episode of the sopranos that blank space on the message is supposed to symbolize your failure to obtain the massive media coverage deserving of your celebrity, either way that's way too artsy for my audience.

My audience can't stand to sit through 3 minutes of silence. Many of my listeners are just my friends who are too lazy to read this blog, the rest are pedophiles who can't read, but like to jack off to miley cyrus' voice. I can't get that song out of my head either guys. v Make sure to listen all the way to the end of the podcast is you want to hear the girl from New orleans beg for superstardom!


Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I pay the neighbor kids to wake me up by screaming Hottie and the Blowfish lyrics at me. I have to pay them a lot because I sleep naked and when they come in and scream at me I jump up pretty quick and they usually get to see my morning wood. So I got that going for me.

Romius T. said...

that's one hell of an alarm system you have