Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Where were you when Gary Gygax died?

Where were you when you heard the news that Gary Gygax died? You were inside your room fiddling with your clit, because your boyfriend can't get you off. It's not just him though a lot guys have trouble getting it up for fat chicks on the rag. You are always thinking about your pleasure. Why don't you think about his a little more often?

Back in the 50's when women knew how to keep a man, a woman could actually enjoy sex without an orgasm. An ugly woman knew her place, she never felt entitled to pleasure, her pleasure came in pleasing him. We've got all this shit backwards in this century.

I'm not going to make any of those "looks like Gary didn't make his saving throw against death" jokes because that's just too easy. I'd rather make "if it wasn't for Gary Gygax making fantasy mainstream you wouldn't have met your boyfriend while working as a serving wench at the Renaissance Fair" jokes because even though they are "easy" they are true.


Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I had just finished my afternoon masturbation when I read he died. I was so shocked I forgot to clean up properly and when my gf got home she figured out that I spent the afternoon wanking instead of doing something productive. Thanks Mr. Dead D&D Dude, you managed to fuck me from beyond the grave you bastard.

Bloom said...

That Renaissance chick looks like she'd give a mean plague job.

Romius T. said...

Geez I thought masturbatin was productive!

I thought the plauge was over by then?

Bloom said...

The last major outbreak occurred in London in the 1660's but the plague was never officially eradicated. Rumors of "escaped" infected lab rats from a New Jersey research facility in 2005 are also going around.

commander other said...

that renny-chick doesn't look all that fat, either. good catch, romius t, but isn't it a little dangerous to play outside your normal confines?

o what the hell, she's probably stoned, anyway.

Romius T. said...

the best part of your comment was that you replied in less than 3 minutes after I chided you for your plauge refrence! You are awesome and I think you rock.


WTF> that chick is fat or is your 200 lb g/f skinny too?