Thursday, March 10, 2005

Steve Nash Hates His Fake Girl Friend.

Just a few days ago a friend and I were out bar hopping when we decided to stop off at the local Hooter's.

The bartender that evening was an attractive blond female who liked to name drop. I discovered her propensity for this activity while eavesdropping on her conversations with other customers.

What I then overheard about local sports icon Steve Nash shocked me to the core! According to our bartender, she had been hit on by him at a party.

"Steve and I are now best friends, and I have only met him once." She swore up and down to all the customers in ear shot. "He let me take a bite of his burger." Finally adding. "
And then he said he had to get back and talk to 'the wife'."

Regarding the sobriquet "wife" the bartender explained to us that "unmarried men who dislike their girlfriends always refer to them as 'the wife'."

Her assertion was then counterpoised to the semantic stylings of married men.

Married men were said to prefer the use of the of the more laconic sounding term 'wife.' Further, she went on to claim that good married men who love their wives preferred the use of 'my wife' when reffering to their spouses.

At the time of course I did not know that Steve was actually married. So my guess is that this little skank just misunderstood Steve. He really did needed to get back to his "wife," especially as I hear that Paraguayian women have a mighty jealous streak in them.

You should also know that Steve is a really nice guy. He even has a
foundation, and this bartendar was very skinny. Maybe he just thought that she needed a bit of his food for nourishment.

Of course I
never fail to comment when I hear Steve Nash's name, it is my sworn duty to point out that while Steve Nash's performances on the field are magnificent, they are at least in part due to his extraordinary genetic heritage. I'm talking about Steve's crossed-eyed cross eyes i.e. Steve Nash is a cross-eyed mutha fucka.

Now upon hearing this obviously bit of disturbing news our nervous colt of a bartender yelped in amazement that she had "never noticed that about him." She may have even made an icky face.

I have a bad feeling I have may just cost Steve Nash some ass from this girl. For that I should apologize.

I need to add into this excitement my EXGF and her new "girlfriend" just 'happened' into the Hooter's.

God, why do lesbians think they can go there too? They've already invaded strip clubs. Is there no place for a pervert to go to objectify women in private anymore?


Anonymous said...

you are one angry little man.

Romius T. said...

you don't know the half of it sugar