Friday, October 14, 2005
Why I hate Wolf Blitzer and Why Tyra Banks Scares the Shit out of me.
I am certainly not the first guy to insult Wolf Blitzer's "Situation Room."
But I just can't understand how any grown man can stand and deliver lines like "We are getting live feeds in now on that overturned bus ..." it's beyond me.
Especially since live feeds means nothing more than television feeds from other networks.
Do we really need a stituationon room to inform us that Paris Hilton's new TV show has been cancelled?
"We are getting reports now that Paris Hilton has had a Tuna Sandwich."
The Situation Room is always "just getting reports." Stealing live feeds from Shobiz Today or that insufferable upbeat program entitled The Insider with former football guy Pat "Oh Your so fucking Hot!" Brien.
Which naturally leads me to this awkward segue, Tyra Banks scares the shit out of me!!
In her new program she plays big sister with attitude to a stunned and cattle prodded audience. Not that you would dare to fuck with Tyra. That's one sister who will put the beat down on you.
Tyra leans in to her guests who have some rather serious problems and fixes their mascara, she's a girls best friend. But all this good natured advice from a women who could snap any second and throw an alarm clock at you is unnerving to watch.
Trya Banks cares? She is like a rabid dog bringing back a dead canary to her master. You're sure you don't want to thank the dog, you're darn sure you didn't want a dead cananry, but the fucking grin on her face demands some kind of aknowledgement.
Careful where you pet boys and girls, careful where you pet.