Thursday, January 26, 2006

#1 Single-or Why I love Lisa Loeb-can I have some Man-babies with you?

Lisa Loeb is a singer-songwriter popular in the 1930's, but she is still way hot in a non-Sci-fi geeky "I wear me some spunky eye glasses and shit" kinda way.

She appears on a television show called #1 Single on the E Network (that stands for entertainment folks so you know it's good!)

In the show, Lisa is looking for a man. She wants babies in a bad way. Her biological clock is ticking so loudly that it's reverberations once caused a tsunami back in the year 2005. Several million non-whites were killed, I have been told.

Here is a sample of Lisa's personal ad:

Texas girl (minus big hair). Petite build, brown hair, hazel eyes. Singer-songwriter. I listen to Zeppelin but don't sound like them. I love to cook and eat, go to restaurants, grocery shop, read, travel and hike. I enjoy Chinese food, good conversation and long walks on the beach (ha, ha!).

Seek intelligent city guy (NYC or L.A.) between 30-45. Must be smart, funny, sensitive (not wimpy), adventurous and family oriented. Preferably Jewish. No diets, no fake hair. Healthy and active a plus. Must love cats.

As you can see from her description of the perfect man, I am totally perfect for her. I hate animals, I'm wimpy and even a little uncircumcised. And yesterday I contracted yellow fever from the stains on my couch.

But from watching her and her mother talk on the show I know all I need to do is survive the first date and we will be in a six year relationship.

Oh, you gotta go watch this clip here. Lisa totally goes all corporate and starts giving her resume out, "like she is a CEO of her own company" and shit. On teevee she seems like so down to earth but on the clip

she comes across as someone I would drown in a bucket of her own vomit in her child's kiddie pool.

Putting that aside, while Lisa Loeb maybe the illiterate Sarah Vowell of Pre-Emo Pop Princesses which universally inhabit the Myspace sites, I do still love her.

Marry Me girl we'll make some babies.

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