Wednesday, April 30, 2008

A friend tells Sarah Beth that she should really buy a cassette tape adapter to play her MP3 player in her car stereo

I know you want to talk to me about how cool your wireless FM transmitter is for your i-pod, but let me stop you. For one thing I am familiar with your 1987 Volvo 740 turbo station wagon and that means I know you still have a tape deck in your car and you are probably still listening to "harden your heart" by Quaterflash whenever your husband lets you drive the car by yourself, because it is the only tape you have left from you "rock out" collection.

Sure the only time you get to leave the house with the keys to the car that you bought yourself is when you offer to take the laundry to the local coin op alone because your boyfriend promises to help you fold it when you get back. Of course we both know that you aren't going to drive all the way home with your clothes wrinkling in the backseat when you could just fold them at the Laundromat yourself.

At least your new boyfriend Kyle offers to help you with the folding. Your last guy never offered and he actually expected you to keep up with the laundry every week. I am not sure if he ever caught on to how dirty you would prefer to be. I do remember how pissed he got when he came home from work that one time to find all the clothes strewn over the floor, and you worried for a second that he might hit you even though he never did, but his temper was bad and made you cry a lot, and Kyle never gets pissed he just gets high when you take the kids out to do laundry, so I guess that is what we call a step up in this world. Score 1 point for you sweetie. Life ain't all bad.

I want you to have a good day today.

  1. Remember how good it feels to wash the grease out of your hair with shampoo?
  2. Cassette player adapters for mp3 players. I know you can't afford an i-pod like the one you bought your boyfriend, but the crappy 1 gig you turned your nose up at that your mom bought for you on your birthday would sound great blasting in your station wagon with the windows rolled down. (By the way wasn't it great that Kyle totally remembered your birth day and tried to warn you not to swallow if you "didn't want to" because respect is way better than anything you can buy in a store. I guess it was just too bad that you didn't hear what he said until the last second, because you still got a tiny squirt in you, but don't worry I think mouth wash cures genital warts. Anyway, those little cassette player adapters that you think only work for cd players or Walkmans can work for those knock off mp3 players and then you can listen to all your music. I could tell you that the sound quality is pretty good and I was going to try and impress you with how I looked up the "specs," but we both know we don't care about that stupid shit.

Well, I gotta go. I think Grey's Anatomy is on somewhere.

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