I remember the time I caught my boyfriend jacking off to the rape scene in Alfred Hitchcock's second to last movie, "Frenzy." What was really disturbing was that he was eating a bowl of double chocolate cookie crunch ice cream at the time. It was his second bowl. I should tell you that Double Chocolate cookie crunch is my favorite ice cream flavor and he almost never leaves me any.
He tried to cover up the act by playing like he was just scratching his balls. I know how he likes to do that, so I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. I looked over at the TV and saw the girl he had been jacking off to, and I thought the chick in the movie was old and English and not even that cute, so I figured why would he jack off to her? Then I figured maybe he wasn't jacking to her so much as maybe he liked the idea of jackin' to a girl getting raped.
"I can't believe I am dating a fucking rapist." I told him.
And that's when he began to cry and tell me how sorry he was for masturbating and that he was 'so ashamed of it' and that he was just horny and I hadn't given him any sex for sometime. I liked how he pulled the blame game back on me and I told'em I was onto that trick. "That ain't gonna work, you can jack off to anything. Why to a rape scene?"
He didn't have an answer right away. A couple of day later he mentioned that not much was on TV that night, that he wasn't allowed any porn, and he liked the movie, and the mood just struck him, but I don't believe him at all. I have no idea what I am going to do with the cumm in that bowl. Shit like that always seems to happen to me.
I got around to watching that movie and I must say that the rape scene was well shot. I think I should apologize to my ex as I had no idea that the scene included shots of titties as I assumed that Hitchcock would never have nudity in his movies. The old woman had some nice boobs with some pretty cute nipples, and my ex had a thing for chicks with big boobs and pink nipples, so I guess it is a good thing that all the girls in my family come pre-loaded with double D's. And since I don't have any kids my tits aren't all brown or nasty. I have the cutest pink nipples. I love my nipples because they are super sensitive and they get hard whenever I want them to.
I am sure my mother would have had something to day about the jacking off incident. She would have told me to just be "happy that the old boy was giving you a day off." But the truth of it all is that I wasn't the one denying him sex. It was the other way around with my ex not seeming very interested in me. I have always been kinda chubby, not fat though, just curvy, and I had gained some weight because I discovered I really like double chocolate ice cream. But then again who doesn't? I am still a super good girlfriend. I let him watch football all day on Sunday while I do the laundry. Even though I know he just invites all his friends over to get high. But he sobers up by the time I get back, and he is in a good mood then, and I guess guys need their guy time to be happy.
I had to stop by the grocery store to get some quarters for laundry. I had to trade in pennies and nickels for the quarters because the ex spent all the paper money we had on ice cream instead of using the food stamp card. He says he doesn't like to use food stamps in front of his friends and that's when I asked him, "Well, how the hell do you think I feel when I use it?" He told me I could pretend we had kids and kids are what stamps are for, and then he said if that didn't work I could always distract the cashier by showing him my boobs. I think he noticed that I put on lipstick and mascara whenever we went grocery shopping.
And I said "what if the cashier was a girl?" But then he brought up how we always seem to go to the same cashier, and how I always went over to the same guy, and I swear I thought I actually saw a little jealousy flash in his eyes. I couldn't believe it. I felt a little guilty about it, but that cashier always stared at my tits, right in front of Mike like he wasn't even there. I know it got Mike pissed, but I liked how it made sure Mike couldn't take me for granted. I know you're thinking that lots of guys just like looking at big tits, but that cashier looking at me still made me feel good. And I like that Mike always made the ride home nice. He would actually ask me about my day and shit.
Speaking of grocery sotres. There are lots of scenes in the movie that take place in what I guess passes for a grocery store in London. Instead of regular grocery stores like here in America all they have is open air markets. I am sure there is a lot of symbolism with fruit getting crushed in scene after scene along side the raping and strangling of women, but I thought it was little heavy handed so I am not even going to point it out to you. Except to say that at one point a man crushed a "box" of grapes.