I blog my day off in which I come to learn I can't decide how long to talk on the telephone.

Whatever strange depression I am going through shows it self in a peculiar symptom. I am unable to judge for myself how long a telephone conversation is supposed to last. I just got off the phone with an ex of mine and we talked for close to 2 hours. Most of the conversation like all conversations you have with young mothers involve the mother yelling at her child to go to sleep, or to climb off her lap, or just leave her the hell alone. That's because mothers hate their children for the most part and you can't really blame them. Children pee in the bed. Children climb down stairs to rearrange the salt and pepper shakers.

I guess that makes me lonely. That I would talk to this girl for so long. We don't have much in common. Shivers get sent down my spine when I overhear how she interacts with her children. Like she read some "how to ensure your kids become white trash" child rearing manual. Not that she ever reads.

Speaking of bad behavior and children, my good friend Miley Cyrus is at it again. She recorded a Youtube video where she and her best friend make fun of another Disney star. Miley is pissed that her boyfriend got stolen from her and is acting out like the crazed 40 year old alcoholic that is buried in her soul. I know some people are going to watch this clip and think that Miley comes off asa bit of bitch. But watch the video take off around the 2:17 mark. Miley goes off on some kind of riff about how on her videos "we don't do trick questions" and you will see some true comedic satire at its best. (I am not being sarcastic!)



Just like Miley I can't make decisions. I had a hard time trying to decide what or where to eat lunch today. I decided I wanted a Philly cheese steak. I went to buy the cheese steak from that place in the mall that sells cheese steaks and makes awesome fries they serve in a drinking cup. When I got to the mall I noticed that a meal deal cost 8 dollars and 50 cents for just a 7 inch sub. I felt that was too much money to spend on one meal when I knew that I could purchase a package of 7 steak (Y)ums for $3.50 along with 6 wheat sub buns from my bakery for $2.49.

I drove to my grocery store. The whole store gets very excited to see me when I am not working. One of the girls had been on vacation for two weeks ran up to me to tell me all about her vacation. I could tell she wanted to hug me, but she is married so we both held back. I have a feeling if I ever hugged her I would give her very first orgasm and she would become addicted to standing next to me and I don't think I need that kind of thing happening as I also don't see her leaving her husband necessarily which I think would get awkward for at least one of us.

Several other people spoke to me to tell me I looked very preppy today. I had on
a pair of jeans and my newest shirt. It is a polo style shirt from No boundaries that I purchased from Walmart for 9 dollars. It is white with blue stripes and fitted. I guess I look good in it as I got a great deal of attention and I did not even shave today. I know the Internet says that women prefer men with stubble and that there are even evolutionary studies that back this up. I am not quite certain why that is. Maybe my massive female readership can clue me into the reason.

I want to take this time to tell you that the self help center podcast has a forum section and you should make your way over there and join the community of fans that I am sure will be getting there any minute. I have started a few topics that I am sure will be worthy of your time and focus on the many issues which I discuss regularly on my blogs. Mostly you can the forum as an opportunity to start posting all those jail bait pics you have on your computer before your sister accidentally discovers them and then wipes out your hard drive, or threatens to tell your dad who will probably just have you arrested, and then all those pictures get sealed under court order as evidence, and then they will all but be lost to the world of pedarasty.

I cooked a chicken today with a faulty turkey timer. I bought the cooking timers for 10 cents at the discount items table in the hopes that they would take the guess work out of cooking entire chickens. I had to leave the chicken in for an additional 20 minutes after the turkey timer popped, so I guess that plan did not work which is just another confirmation that nothing ever happens the way you want it, so the only thing you can do is start liking what is actually happening or get bitter, and I think you should know that liking shit is not what I am about so prepare for me to get bitter.

Bitter is the only time I enjoy talking to my ex. We discuss how we hate being romantic and how we both have given up on trying to find somebody only in her case people actually want her and ask her out and the closest I come to being asked out is when the customer service slut calls me to pick my schedule and I tell her I am naked and she continues on the phone with me and when I tell her that, "this is close as we will ever get to having sex" and she answers by telling me "probably" and I take that as meaning that there is a chance we could have sex and I am going to hold her to that and all she does is giggle afterwards which means I really do have a chance because this girl has no clue about boundaries and now I just wished I was her cousin or something in the 5th grade because we'd get to see each other all the time and whatever I convinced her to do in the closet with me would remain between us because people with fucked up boundaries always keep secrets from the people they should really be telling and telling secrets to people who would be most likely to take advantage of them and if that does not sound like consent to you then you sir have way too many boundaries.

I still don't have a single digg on my podcast over at Digg.com. There really is no excuse.

I know I can't worry about you judging me for this post so that's why I went ahead and posted it

The day after I shot a man in the face was the first time I ever felt powerful, so I guess you can't blame me for scooping up the latest pictures of Miley Cyrus looking like a slut for your enjoyment. I don't like looking at a picture like this because unlike you I am not that much of a voyeur. I like having a normal girlfriend and a normal relationship life. That is why I am attracted to good looking, funny, and intelligent women-not the little girls you like. But I post these pictures as a service to you so you can jack off to them and stop circling the playground so much and worrying all the soccer moms that got that flyer from the sheriff's office with your picture on it. I know what you are thinking, if I am attracted to smart good looking chicks what is the problem? Why am I still single? How hard can it be since I like girls who are legal? I'd like to think it has something to do with how I am picky and I like really attractive women, but I think it has to do with how smart, cute, funny girls have standards and I never measure up well to standards, because unlike pedophiles I never practice trying to pass statistical tests. I am a creative type and we need more freedom and breathing room than the facts and figures can give.

You should think of me like an independent film with subtitles and no plot even though I am an American. I don't open the big screens like Batman does, but every once in a while a movie like me comes along and even though the first part is boring you start to appreciate a film where the character gets developed and the plot moves along in congruence with the feelings and ideas of a flesh and blood person, not simply as the side show for special effects.

I know what you are thinking that sometimes even quirky independent movies suck and you are sick and tired of how all the so called "quirky" characters in independent films are all really the same. That might be true, but sometimes when you floss your teeth they bleed out for three hours, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't go ahead and floss them once a week anyway.

Either way it appears that Miley Cyrus has no idea how to stop acting like a whore despite all the bad press, and I guess that is a good thing for you. It just goes to show you that god had something planned out right when it comes to repopulating the Earth with sluts. Every few years the sweet pre-teen with braces who loves daddy and jumps in the garden sprinkler grows breasts and discovers for herself that empowerment means having power, and since she does not have power in the real world she begins toying with the idea of using her sexual awakening against the pathetic man-boys staring at her through closed windows hoping to get a peak at her nipples when the water begins to work its magic on her bathing suit.

I don't know if you can tell the difference between this post and any other post I have written, but I will tell you that I was totally phoning this one in. The sad thing is I could write five or six of these posts a day and if I added a few more pictures of Miley and Britney I'd end up making a few dollars a week from Adsence. Instead I work hard all week looking for inspiration because I am stuck with the idea that you are looking for a blog with integrity. Even though I only write when I want to I still get worried that the people who read this blog are bored waiting around for the three posts I write a month, because they have decided that my blog is just not worth it if they are not sure what I stand for. I think you should give me a break and not force me to tell you in graphic detail what I do here, because if anything that only stokes the disdain I have for the audience which only means fewer posts for you. By now if there is something I should not have to tell you, it's that if carefully defined I have a great deal of integrity.

That's why I am always trying to come up with a new angle to attract someone other than the mid 30's married alternative mom that I can't seem to meet in real life, but only on the net where they are already married and ridden down with offspring, so I really have no hope of getting them to jump ship with me, so I guess I will always be alone, because I live in a town full of crack heads and old people who care more about money than well defined integrity. I guess what I am saying is that my sense of integrity compels me to point out how wrong it is for a preteen girl to feel OK about subtly using the power of her sexual awakening against a horde of horny social misfits for profit all the while complaining about all the misunderstandings that she is perfectly aware she is creating. Confusion about your burgeoning sexuality is not only natural, but is inherently a private affair; hence, it is no one's business. Not even a perverts. But the naked manipulation of said sexuality for purposes of avarice leaves one open to critique which is why you will find Miley's photos posted here. I hope you all appreciate how much I have had to hold your hand here, and explain things to you because then you can then begin to understand how much smarter I am than you. I know how thankful you are for this service, but it only fills me with pity for you. All this anxiety gives me a pit in my stomach that grows ever more hallow. I am sure you are all the reason I have acid reflux and throat cancer, and one day when I can't breathe from my esophagus closing in on me I want you to have a nice ceremony at my funeral where you engage my blog in the literary theory that you took at community college, which on second thought will probably end up sounding a lot like some small town Oprah Winfrey's book club meeting, so maybe I am having second thoughts on that. Maybe you could just convince a middling blogger to give me some air time now that it is clear to the world that I am not a pedophile just a hard working social critic.

Cut Off Your Pussy: A three part treatise on the history and evolution of the sexual double standard

PART 1.

The old sexual standard



A BRIEF PRIMER ON THE HISTORY OF THE SEXUAL DOUBLE STANDARD: the ancient sexual double standard stems from primitive woman's weakness.

Why do we need to learn about the double standard? Because you can't spend more than 5 minutes on the Internet looking for the latest self pics of Disney teen stars without being interrupted by some middle aged feminist and her gravity obeying tits shouting, "My VAGINA IS UGLY AND THAT IS SO NOT FAIR! Why DO MEN GET BETTER LOOKING WITH AGE? Why ARE ONLY WOMEN JUDGED FOR THEIR BEAUTY?"

How you can learn to stop blaming men for the sexual double standard...and start loving YOUR EVOLUTIONARY HISTORY.

Not so long ago during the infancy of our species, womankind, struck a Faustian bargain with the male sex. Man promised to protect woman. The task of protecting woman was not easy. Woman wants shoes. Many shoes. Woman carries shoes even at risk of getting eaten by bears.


Man evolved from his selfish animal need to survive in order to satisfy his promise to protect woman, which is why men walk on the outside of a sidewalk when on a date. Men know their bodies can't stop cars, and it really doesn't make a difference because the odds of getting run over are small and getting in the way of a car is not really going to slow the car down, but women accept this token of protection because they get the pleasure of knowing we promise to die first.



CULTURE TEACHES MAN ONE THING:

IN THE EVOLUTIONARY LONG TERM THE SUBJUGATION OF WOMAN IS UNTENABLE

[see part three]

tHE POWER OF CULTURAL LOGIC IS THAT IT RUNS ITS OWN COURSE, iT CARES NOT FOR THE SELFISH INTEREST OF THE INDIVIDUAL. THE POWER MEN DERIVE FROM CULTURE STEMS FROM ITS REALITY TESTING AND TRUTH TELLING.

MAN EVOLVED FROM A (RELATIVE) POSITION OF STRENGTH TO CREATE CULTURE, on the other hand, women are weak and evolve towards cuteness.

Nature has a communication method all its own. When a thing is cute that is nature's way of saying, "Ignore me. I am not a danger to you. Also please don't eat me." No creature will eat anything cute. It's just not done. That is why the panda and the koala bear survive.

***A tHING tO REMEMBER***

a WoMAN is "cute," because she is no threat [evolutionary SPEAKING] to MAN.


Because women are weaK, women MUST be cute. Women do that thing where they trace their finger down your arm when they are walkING away from hugging you. They lose hair in all the right places. They are soft and like to smell like vanilla. I like those things about women. So do the lions and jackals. We must accept the evolutionary truth that "iN THE PAST IT MADE PERFECT SENSE fOR A WOMAN TO CEDE CONTROL OF HER BEING TO HER MAN FOR PROTECTION."

{HINT}

A woman will tell you men that it doesn't matter what your dick "looks like." When the woman wishes to seduce a man in order to aquire his protection she will will tell him,"that it does not matter how big or small your penis is." In addition, she will tell him that she does not care how big or fat or how bald he is, because looks are not as important to women as they are to men.

The woman who tells you "looks are unimportant to her" knows an important fact, but has stretched that fact to fit a lie.

DO NOT MISTAKE A WOMAN'S LACK OF SEXUAL INTEREST IN YOU TO BE INDICATIVE OF A LACK OF SUPERFICIALITY

AN ASIDE: The differing superficiality of the sexes should be understood as the differing mating strategies of the sexes.

YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THAT THE WOMAN SEEKS YOUR PROTECTION AND SHE WILL ATTEMPT TO MASK HER INTENTIONS to you

A BRIEF EXPLANATION OF THE IMPORTANCE WOMEN PLACE ON THE SCURRILOUS CHARGE OF MALE SUPERFICIALITY

For eons women have complained that men seek only beauty in a mate. ( They forgive us when we create the David, or mono lisa, or the empire state building, do they not?) Was this also not because in the past the only commodity a woman had to offer was the beauty of her offspring?

Women who complain about men who place a high imporance on thier mate's beauty are simply those women nature has failed to bestow its bounty on. It is a defense used by the ugly.

REMEMBER an ugly woman is a weak woman from the point of view of nature.

The ugly woman seeks to distract the male from his natural mating strategy: to procreate with the most attractive female available. An ugly woman seeks to contaminate beauty by conflating it with superficiality. This is an effective and deviously clever strategy. Naturally man is wary of the superficial. Man's caution around superficiality is the reason why he owns only 3 pairs of shoes at a time, a number most women find unfathomable.

***REMEMBER****

Man is not superficial. His desire for the most attractive female available is simply the most effective mating strategy nature has ever developed.

***

A woman who is obsessed with superficial will spend the resources of a man foolishly. With his resources wasted a man can not protect his mate, nor could he aquire additional mates he desires. This is why a woman marries as rich a man as she can, but spends him to the poor house.

Therefore; men are naturally wary of superficial women. An ugly (but clever) woman exploits this weakness by suggesting that the male preoccupation with attractive mates is superficial spending. But a woman will never admit her concern with male 'superficiality' is mearly her displeasure over male mating strategies that place her at the bottom of the rung.

{ HINT CONTINUED}

Women don't care about 'your looks,' because they know looks are not highly correlated with money. The secret to the old sexual double stand was that men WERE not judged on looks but on their earning potential*.

translation- A woman uses your income to measure how much you can protect them from the cruelty of nature.

PART 2


THE CURRENT STATE OF THE SEXUAL DOUBLE STANDARD

THE SECRET TO THE CURRENT SEXUAL DOUBLE STANDARD IS THAT MEN WILL NOW BE EVALUATED ACCORDING TO HOW MUCH THEY EARN AND HOW SEXY THEY ARE... MUCH LIKE WOMEN WHO WILL BE DRAGGED KICKING AND SCREAMING INTO THE WORLD OF WORK.

Man hoped for peace between the sexes by developing culture. Culture provides protection for both sexes and offers the possibility of equality for all. But nature has selected against this possibility. Men are selected for the qualities of the past. Men are aggressive and ugly. Science has shown the female body is preferred by lesbians, straight men and straight women. Only gay men prefer the male body. In the immediate future there is a distinct possibility that woman will likely out earn man. She is already considered the better looking sex. Power will shift slowly but inexorably from man to woman.

Once again a bitter inequality in nature will arise. As man transforms nature to reflect the softer characteristics of the female he will naturally dig his own grave.

PART 3

TOWARDS A THEORY OF THE THIRD WAVE OF SEXUAL DOUBLE STANDARDS: THE tRANSGENDER OF MANPUSSY & LADYBOYS

iN THE FUTURE WE ARE ALL T-GIRLS.

Man-pussy eliminates the ugly vagina. No longer will thousands of women be subjected to the horrors of a labiaplasty. In the future we will be the "best of both worlds." Droopy tits will be a thing of the past. We all get Firm and Voluptuous implants for breasts.

We keep the dick!

Personally I can't wait for the future.

eric schaeffer on the coming revolution:

Your boyfriends, husbands, and pals are fantasizing about sucking tranny dick - June 27, 2008

Okay geniuses, this lesson is for you. Listen up, it's a little complicated so I'm gonna go reeeeal slow. I'm a straight man. All straight men look women up and down. God made us that way. Take it up with him if you have a problem with us checking you out to see if we should impregnate you to propagate the species. The same desire women have to doll themselves up so that our cocks will get hard and want to go in you to propagate the species is the same instinct we have to look at you. Straight Darwinian AND God stuff. Deal with it.

Secondly...

In general, gay men don't want to fuck trannies.
In general, gay men don't want to get fucked by doms wearing strap ons.
In general, gay guys... like to fuck other gay guys.
In general, women, gay or straight, don't want to fuck trannies.
In general, women, gay or straight, don't want to get fucked in the ass by doms wearing strap ons. (Obviously lesbians have a slightly higher proclivity of course but that's mainly in their pussies, not in their asses.)
In general, bi sexual guys like real cocks when they fuck guys and therefore don't go in for doms, some for trannies but less so than good ole regular gay guys

So that leaves one kind of people who are the NUMBER ONE GROUP INTERESTED in FUCKING OR GETTING FUCKED BY TRANNIES AND GETTING FUCKED IN THE ASS BY DOMS... wait for it... STRAIGHT MEN.

It will be the powerless, straight men of the future who will transform modern society into the Third Wave I call the Transgender society.

The only way to stop this is for women to stop asking for pay raises. Women need to stop graduating from college at higher rates. We need a more level playing field in the realm of looks. Attractive women need to mate with uglier men.

My plan may not work. But if you do not try it you might as well sew a penis to your daughter's vagina.

My idea for a personal ad on the Craigslist

CAN i JUST START WITH SOMETHING yOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR?

Like a lot of dudes I have my fetish requirements. You should be into preggo porn. It would help if you were already pregnant of course, but we can always work on that. I have a small penis and I think you should enjoy making fun of it. I know I do. I love asian lactation videos only because they are the only kind of lactation videos I have ever seen. I won't mind if you cheat on me, but only if I get to watch and maybe film it and then jack off to it when you are at work.

Other than those basic fetish needs I am pretty normal guy who likes the same things in bed you do. If those same things are you fucking me in the ass with a small sized dildo, wearing catholic school girl outfits, and calling me daddy.

I should also let you know that I am short, bald, and kinda chubby.

I can still suck in my gut if absolutely necessary, but not for too long.

I am a non-believer and I hate dogs and don't care for cats. I would prefer a life without animals. I don't go to church. I watch way too much TV and spend all day on the Internet in pursuit of juvenile things like making up the most prurient stories and the most obnoxious things I can think of.

I know I sound like a winner, but I drive a used car that is not paid for, and I rent a room I don't own.

THERE ARE THINGS THAT YOU COULD LIKE ABOUT ME

I have been known to wash the dishes even after cooking. (I can't dust or use a vacuum.) i MAKE MY REFRIED BEANS WITH LARD AND BACON GREASE. You will thank me later after trying some. I hate pepsi.
I enjoy talking about celebrities and gossip. I never hit.

Looking for love is difficult. We are all looking for the same thing.

• some one just like us, but different

Basically we all want something better than we actually deserve, only I am willing to be with you and he probably isn't, and even if he is he just wants to use you for sex where as I could actually like you.

Now that I have you excited about meeting me are there any qualities you should possess in order for me to like you?

I can't really think of any. If you got to the end of this and were not grossed out or disgusted that it is a good start. I like the girl next door type. I like a girl who can give as good as she gets. You should be witty or at least able to recognize wit. Try not to hold it against me when I say "film" instead of "movie." I like films. I also like movies. See? I am not some kinda film snob. I do like a girl with a cute face.

TO THE STAT MOBILE, ROBIN

AGE: 37

HEIGHT: 5 FOOT 8 (UNLESS YOU CAN BEAT ME IN BASKETBALL i DONT WANT TO HEAR YOU COMPLAIN)

WEIGHT (UMM MORE THAN YOU MOST LIKELY, OK)

JOB: I GOT ONE

CAR: TRUCK (I GUESS THAT MEANS YOU SHOULD PAY FOR GAS--i KID i KID ...NOT UNTIL THE FOURTH DATE...LOL)

OH SORRY ABOUT THE WHOLE LOL THING

wHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR e-MAIL ME NOW AND wE CAN bE TOTALLY embarrassing PEOPLE IN LINE AT THE MOVIE BY MAKING OUT .....

I don't think I will be getting any responses, but if I do I will post them.