Friday, October 03, 2008

You maybe the only person wondering where this blog has been, but I still think you count

I know Bathos does not have as many followers as the Self Help Center does, and that's ok with me. I did not stop posting here for that reason. I stopped blogging in Bathos because it can be difficult keeping up with just one blog at a public library computer terminal. I still believe in this blog like I believe in you. I know if you read this blog you are very hip "to it" and smart because you know what you like and you don't care what the rest of the world says.

You like chocolate shakes and romance novels, and guys that make fun of Sarah Palin. And you would sleep with just about anyone you could convince to go singing Karaoke with you. I don't blame you for that.

I mean I do hate that let's all pretend we can sing Korean bull shit, and I will never sing for you even though I do the best Neil Diamond impression you have ever heard, and I sing like William Shatner whenever I cover any song by a female artist.

I know I just made you wet and I know you can't help how frothy your vagina gets when you get all worked up. I just don't like thinking about all that extra juice you have down there, but I guess I am going to have to, just like I am going to have to at least "promise" to stick it in you if I am ever going to convince you to go down on me.

I sat on this post for a day or so thinking maybe a little bit of inspiration would help me write. I know I was wrong because I still don't have any inspiration and according to my stats this blog is just sitting here dying from neglect.

I know what you are thinking. I've never really had a plan for this blog and if you don't have a plan then you have planned for failing. But you believe in a lot of retarded shit so I won't hold that against you.

I think the problem is that I am spreading myself too thin. I have 4 blogs (yes, that means I have a secret blog you don't know about) and a podcast to get to, and there is no possible way you can actually come up with that much material every day if you want the material to be any good.

If this blog had a theme it would be easier to write. At least then you would know what to expect. When you read my other blogs you know what you are getting yourself into. The Self Help Center has my rants and daily life. It is part work blog, part diary, part character driven. I have no idea what this blog is. I was hoping to make it a blog that shows off my humor stylings. I also wanted a place where I could be more political and gossipy and just plain bloggy (not personal bloggy) if that makes any sense and of course it does not.

I really need to post a podcast. I have had almost a thousand downloads in the past 2 months so I think that means I have an audience. I also want to devote some time to my secret blog in the hopes that it will take off and make me rich. I know that won't happen. I have spent more money on my blog hobby than I could ever see back, but I don't mind because I know that the 10 people who read me really need me in their empty lives. And since my 10 readers are needed by 10 people in the real world and those people influence other people, well you can see how important this blog writing thing is to the whole world. So when I can't think of anything to blog I want you to know that won't stop me from blogging.

I know you guys worried that I might stop writing because I have a computer at home. You thought I could go back to not posting much, but don't worry I think I am going to keep up the manic posting schedule that I have created. Just for you, and your loved ones, and all the Cosmic Karma I can suck out of you codependent bastards.

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