Friday, May 09, 2008

Sarah Beth to a friend: I wished I could convince you to tell your boyfriend to stop punching you in the face because it is leaving you deformed...

...And I have a thing against the handicapped. When we met you looked better than me and that is why I wanted to be your friend. I figured most of the guys who would approach us when we were out together were really only interested in you, but I was like "fuck it maybe I can get laid."

I know life doesn't work like the movies where the ugly girl gets to take off her glasses and become a glamorous movie star. In real life I have a hard time convincing any of the boys I meet at the bar to cuddle with me after sex. I guess men naturally only want to cuddle with cute things like blankets, kittens, teddy bears, and hot chicks. (Also, unicorns?)

I know it is an uphill battle to get a guy interested in your personality. Most men are so boring themselves and obviously haven't taken any interest in developing their own personalities, so how can I expect that they might be interested in a personality to be found in someone else like me? Maybe men get angry at me because I remind them how shallow they are, ...maybe, ...But I bet most guys are so shallow that they can't be reminded how shallow they are.

I guess I could use my big tits or something to get a man, as I hear big tits are something the boys are into. After I found a guy using my big tits I could train him to think about something other than his dick. I think that's whyI am beginning to think older men are so much better. I think older guys have gotten enough pussy to calm down a bit and maybe they can get interested in the real me.

I hope so.

Also, I am sorry about you boyfriend hitting you in the face. I am so glad Kyle doesn't hit me in the face. Not that he ever gets worked up about anything I do anyway. As long as he has his pot and his goober ass friends over at the apartment and his fucking 40's/ Sorry I meant to talk about your scar and your bump/ and that face of yours/ and how I was gonna say something about it to ya. I mean that ain't right what he done and all, but ya... other than that he seems ok and most of the time he is nice and all, so... uhmm.. yeah I would take his number if you want to dump him....(Don't worry I said that last part to myself and I mostly don't even mean it!--but he is cute!!! Kinda dreamy like Adrian from the HBO show Entourage. Only even more sensitive!)

2 comments:

"internet g/f" said...

you are CREEPING ME OUT with this this alter-ego. i don't like it one bit. >shudder<

but it does make me laugh, mostly.

Romius T. said...

as long as you are still alaughing baby thats all that counts!