Thursday, March 09, 2006

Keeping it real at the Quick Stop Mart.

Apparently "Keeping it real" includes requesting confirmation that the busiest Quick Stop Mart in the area takes EBT cards.

"Yo, does this take EBT, man?" inquired the the scruffy Latino to the convenience store clerk.

In fact it did, and Mr. Smelly Homeless guy could indeed purchase his 32 ounce fountain soda (I thinks we all know Quick-Trip has the best fountain sodas in the biz! Fuck they are guaranteed!) along with his 99 cent bag of Doritos.

"I am just keeping it real, man!"

I am not certain what compelled the young man to peer behind him and inform me about his intentions, I must have one of those faces that when looked upon one feels instantly compelled to tell me shit I just don't give a damn about.

Hey I am as glad as anyone that you are able to purchase snacks with your Food Stamps from gas stations. In the future, you should realize that Quick-Trip charges the same for a 44 ounce drink as for the 32 ounce size. Since you are homeless you're not really in a position to not econo"mize", when you think about it.... Are the grab sized potato chips worth it? I say get the full-sized bag for $2.99.

On a Second note: It hasn't rained in a 142 days. Probably because I struck a deal with Satan to keep it dry until the Frenchies "apol-o-gize" and fix my window they broke.

I don't give a shit about all the fucking farmers I am fucking over. If they gave a shit about their crops they'd fork over the 175 bucks to get my smashed window fixed. Till then it's the Dustbowl for all you bitches.


1 comment:

foxxxylove said...

LMAO. I especially like the Satan link to tom Cruise. Classic!