Tuesday, November 29, 2005

What I needed was a guest blogger, like Larry King.

I have to write this post on my birthday because unlike Larry King I don't have "a staff of hundreds of people who worked so hard to turn this out every day."

That's a direct quote and if you know Larry's column you may find it incredible that literally hundreds of people help him turn out his riffs on "Crest Dental floss with Easy Glide technology."

Larry loved it "This stuff really works," he remarks "gets between your teeth and everything." Wow! Thanks for the tip, Larry.

Larry stopped writing on September 23, 2001. The one good thing the terrorists did.

I am sure he isn't too busy to chip in a few lines about the movie Jarhead or the tragic consequences of teen boys kissing their peanut allergic girlfriends after eating a Peter Pan peanut butter sandwich.

"Don't do it she might die."

Maybe we should use that Crest floss thingy first, right Larry?

I had a guest blogger before, but it didn't work out. Foxxylove couldn't figure out the minimally simple task of instructions required in order to join my team, so she started her own blog...and the good folks at the fantasy blog evaluator blogshares have her angry black rants as more highly valued than my own misanthropic ones. Go figure.

Go on Larry it's my birthday.

Romius turns 35 today which means he will soon need to buy some Loreal for Men facial line smoother or at least some botox soon. But Rom, your worth it buddy , your worth it. I had less hair, but 3 more wives than Rommy did at 35. You can play ketchup, but you never will. Your a mustard man.

Any of you know how ol' Rommie got his computer "hacker" nickname? It came from his tenth grade computer class, where he wrote basic text programs introducing the world for the first time to the Satan Fellowship.

10? "Hi, welcome to the Satan Fellowship. Press 1 to give me your soul. Press 2 to give your soul to god."

A fucking laugh riot, thanks to Mr. Rafter. I know you eventually caught on, and required Zues III and Rom to provide an algorythm before allowing them on the computer to program, but it never really stopped them did it. And now look at him. He's and internet programming god with some of the best and most orginal work on the net.

Happy B-day Big Guy!!


Cavalor Epthith said...

May the celebrations of your birth be filled with the sexual gifts of one thousand eager milky breasted succubae!

May you have the stamina to tame their loins into fearful cowering!

May you return in celebration many more times before ultimately we meet in a quiet smoky bar in Hell.

May you suffer not!

Cavalor Epthith, Esquire.
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
"John Edward's favorite vapor paper!

Anonymous said...

i woulda been your guest editor, but you didn't ask me. sorry i messed your bday but it took me a long time to feel better and then i started back in my studying...and now i'm going to bed. -isa

foxxxylove said...

Now don't you regret you comments from a week ago? Now that I've moved up to 1B, I think that I should get better treatment!

romiustexis said...

Isa...It's too bad you could not make it, as you could have seen me make out all night with my other lesbian girlfriend.

Foxxy now that you have moved up to tier I I can take you for granted. But thanks for coming out!