Saturday, December 24, 2005

Merry Christmas..Happy Festivus! (For the Rest of Us!)

If you're a heathen like me, then you don't celebrate the birth of Baby Jesus. You'll just have to be content with the second best made up celebration of the year, Festivus! Get your poles here.

Go here for a funny animated video that explains the quirky holiday.

In keeping with my religious beliefs

The Airing of Grievances

will now begin.

I've got a lot of problems with you people, and now you're going to hear about them!"

  • There are only two reasons you should get a tattoo-you've joined the navy, or you're in jail. I am sick of this whole fucking fad. One day you are all gonna wake up and become grandmothers with saggy ass skin. How many grandchildren need to be scarred for life after witnessing Memaw's "tag this" backside tat.
  • stop wearing shiny rocks, it's distracting.
  • the Washington Redskins are going nowhere in the playoffs, so don't get fucking cocky.
  • People who say they are "spiritual" without being religious. That's just baloney and non-sensical and a performative contradiction. See the next post for what these people really should be.

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