Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Discretion. A word not perhaps in the Redneck's Dictionary.


The first rule about writing about discretion should be to actually practice discretion in the course of that writing. That first rule of discretion was ignored by the makers of Uncle Ray's Potato Chips.

Uncle Ray's is sold locally here in Palmetto in convenience stores. Uncle Ray is originally from Detroit.

"Uncle Ray started in business in 1965 out of the back seat of his 1961 Dodge Dart. A self made man who never went to college, Ray made and sold chip dips, popcorn and shrimp cocktail sauce to local bars and store in the Detroit area."

Uncle Ray's redneck outlook fits quite well here in middle Florida, but producing quality snacks wasn't enough for Uncle Ray.

"Late one night in 1999, Ray woke up from a sound sleep. He had the urge to sit down at his kitchen table and write about his life's memories. He began to write the first three chapters to the many stores you now read of the back of our products."

Ray has completed over 30 chapters of The Life and Times of Uncle Ray. He feels compelled to send a message to those eating his product.

'If someone was ever contemplating suicide, drugs, stealing, or what ever life's troubles bring you, I want you to know that you are not alone'. 'Everyone has bad days and I want to be there with a message'. He had the urge to sit down at his kitchen table and write about his life's memories. He began to write the first three chapters to the many stores you now read of the back of our products."

I was lucky to come across Chapter 8 of Uncle Ray's story, it deals with discretion.

"One day during a family reunion, Bob and our two cousins went skinny dipping in the creek a quarter of a mile upstream. As I was three years younger, just a pup at 11, they told me to get lost."

I think only a redneck could decide to tell a story about 'discretion', and then use a story about the 'negative consequences' of skinny dipping with cousins at least 14 years of age. I know it's the south, so a lot of people have probably had that experience and think nothing of it. But in the future Uncle Ray, consider keeping your insest a dirty family secret, I promise I will.

1 comment:

Jezebelsriot said...

Alright, let's talk. What the fuck are you doing in Florida? Which part? And why the fuck did you not invite me!!!!

I grew up in Naples. I miss it like phantom limb pain. My jealousy burns. Burns I tell you!