Monday, June 26, 2006

I must be homesick.


I must be homesick. I am watching Sunstroke. Sunstroke is a lifetime movie that stars Jane Seymour. I am watching Sunstroke only because it is set in Arizona.

IMDB offers a review of the movie...

"Seymour uses a southern American accent, which raises her pitch when she yells, making her sound more ferocious in one scene that she normally appears. She is styled with tight clothes and baring flesh, sweating, and trying a sultry eyes half closed look, but sensuality only works when the person doesn't make it so contrived. Seymour is also seen dancing, has sex in a public swimming pool, and gets one camp line `You've reached the line. Don't cross it'."

I can't believe I came to that line...and crossed it myself. I bet you are expecting a tirade on the crappiness of the Lifetime Movie Network. You'll get no such pleasure here, sir.

First, Jane Seymour looks totally hot. Like an older but less tanned Rebecca Gayheart. My affection for Noxema commercial girls knows no boundaries.

Now Jane is what I call classy. And if you know anything about classy, you know classy can never be described as classy. Jane could affect a Southern twang to her voice and dress in skin tight mini-dresses, but every cowboy in the room would never buy her as anything but "high faluting gal."

No matter how many Space Operas she makes, Jane can not play modern. Even in the original Battlestar Galactica you had a sneaky impression that Seymour's character was straight outta the time of the ancient Greeks. Jane Seymour should have been born in the 1700's. She needs servants and bustiers.

I dream about Jane Seymour. I see Ms. Seymour continually fingering and twirling an umbrella under a July 4th sky while the 1812 overture plays in the background. But I lack imagination that way. Maybe it's a purple umbrella and Rebecca Gayheart is there. Rebecca's hair is up. But not for long. Soon, there is a twist of her head and her long flowing curls are released.

Maybe that was just a little too much info for some...

5 comments:

foxxxylove said...

The Noxema girl? Didn't she do a hit and run? Hmmm. I like Jane Seymore. There'll never be another Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.

Knows It All said...

Dude, you need NetFlix or TIVO stat!

romiustexis said...

Rebecca would never do a hit and run...she is way to sweet. And I actually have TIVO...sad I know.

foxxxylove said...

Oh contraire Romius. Check this out:

http://www.courier-journal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?Date=20050305&Category=FEATURES&ArtNo=503050328&SectionCat=&Template=printart.

and

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001261/bio

Rebecca is just as dangerous with a vehicle as Halle Berry, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan combined because a 9-year-old boy died!

romiustexis said...

Oh damn! My girl is a crazy ass driver. You think she was too good looking to go to jail? Sounds like she should have spent at least a year or so.

And what's with just paying for funeral expenses. She should have put up a few bucks so they could buy themselves another kid!