Sunday, January 28, 2007

Taco Bell customers are dicks.

They are also pretty bad shots. I can attest to that. Some asshole who just finished gorging himself on TacoSmell threw his cup at me while I was walking home from another fast food place. I had my back turned to the fucker and he still missed. I am not sure if the culprit was the truck that immediately passed by, so I chose not to throw my Wendy's drink at him.

Plus I love Coke. So I don't want to waste any. And maybe the guy just hated Wendy's. But I could have hit him if I chose to. From the 1st grade to the 8th grade I was an 8 time all-star in the backyard football league I started.

Check these Amazing Stats out :

Attempts 4,387 Completions 3,689 TDS 647 Int's 74 (I kept stats)

I was also 7-2 in Super Bowls and was always chosen as the "all time quarterback." If you don't know what ATQB is, then let me explain.

Whenever there is an odd number of players in a backyard or street football game one player gets chosen to play QB for both teams. Everybody thought it unfair for just one team to get me. Because my team almost always won. That's how good I was.

In fact I was so good at backyard football back then that my brain chemistry has been completely re-wired to expect that level of dominance in all my activities. Be it trivia games at local bars, humping fat chicks, or just getting ahead of all the losers in this world.

A lot of things are finally starting to make sense to me. Like Jeff Fahey and I have the same birthday. I had a dream last night about the Benefactor, only it wasn't Mark Cuban. Because Mark Cuban is an ass.

In the dream I had someone named the "Benefactor" donated 40,000 dollars to me on PAYPAL. I don't really feel like making this post lucid or tying up all the disconnected ramblings today. Deal with it.

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