Monday, February 04, 2008

The FBI wants to build a 1 billion dollar biometric database so they can trace the "tramp stamp" you got on your back during Spring Break

As a kid I was forced to take a baths with my brother until we were 11. We didn't like it and we used to record ourselves making up stories and insulting our parents on cassette tapes. We knew they could get listened to, but weren't worried. We were sure we would erase the tapes and no one would be any wiser. Boy were we wrong.

We forgot to erase all the tapes we made and our cousins found the tapes. My cousins were totally pissed off at what they heard and ran and told on us. My parents wanted to yell at us for all the shit we talked, but after they listened to them they couldn't bring themselves to do it. They thought the tapes were just too funny.

I guess that's how I would describe the Bush administration and the e-mail scandal. Bush and Cheney are just a couple of 10 year olds at bath time ragging on their parents, with the cocky sense that they will never get caught. But just like me and my brother they got caught! But nothing will happen to them.

Thinking about those fake radio tapes my brother and I used to make has made me consider buying a microphone and a mixer so I can restart my old podcast, News from the Surveillance Society.

Here are a few more stories I'd have to report if I was still podcasting.

The FBI is looking to create a massive database on you that will profile your every detail down to your earlobe, iris and fingerprints, how you walk, tattoos, etc. Total Information Awareness is still the goal of the government under G. W. Bush. He has just hidden the spying, by splitting it into many parts, and hidden the TIA agenda, by breaking it into bite sized pieces.

Ford is selling a truck that comes equiped with RFID technology. "An in-dash display will then show what's in your truck so you can tell right away if someone snagged your hammer, or, hopefully, you just left it at the job site."


Evil Spock said...

Your parents were early conservationist with their attitudes towards water consumption and bath times.

Romius T. said...

Who knew my parents were so ahead of the time and green? I just thought they were cheap bastards!

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

They only want to spy on us for our own good.

I too was forced to share a tub when I was a child. They stopped making us share one with my cousin when she sprouted boobs. I was totally pissed.

Romius T. said...

I can't beleive you had to miss that!