Mom finds hero asleep in bed of 14 year old after girl leaves for school

Some days I don't like getting out of bed. I'll just lay there all day. I try to think of reason to get up. I usually can't. If I need to go to work, I can get up for that. But the whole time I am getting ready I chant how "I hate my life." When I don't have to go to work I just stay inside and watch Netflix all day. In the last month I've had 19 movies delivered to me, and I've watched 18 movies instantly overt the Internet. If you add the blog and podcast to all this excitement I think you can see how I have a full life, and I have no need for marriage or a sex life.

I know you don't care how lazy I am. I am tyring to give you advice on how not to live. If you have a chance to live the dream, don't fuck it up like 27 year old Eric Gahagen did. After driving 1500 miles to bang his new underage girlfriend, he decides to take a lazy nap in her room. Bad idea Eric. Don't be lazy like me.

"Gahagen allegedly climbed into the girl’s second-floor bedroom window and hid there for more than 24 hours . . . until good old mom walked in on him sleeping in her bed. Cops also say that Gahagen claims he thought the girl was 20, yet failed to say anything when she had to leave for school. "

What? College chicks go to class, and college girls love Strawberry Shortcake lunch boxes. I hear prison is fun for lazy people who like to nap and read all day. If I could get the internet and the special "no anal penetration" wing, I could sign up for this prison thing.