Sunday, February 03, 2008

What I killed today

"My primary directive in life is to exhibit compassion wherever possible."

That quote is taken from the blog profile of a woman "kills animals as part of work with a lot of injured wildlife. Also not wild animals that are just in a lot of pain. Sometimes I have to euthanize them. I decided to record each animal I euthanize here."

She is a vegan, married, and a trapeze artist. And I guess she frets over killing the animals. But I hate animals. And this site is dedicated towards me becoming a serial killer. We all know how serial killers start out killing tiny, defenseless beings before moving on to tuffer kills. I'm to blood shy to actually get my kill on, but now I can vicariously share in the thrill of murder. The prose is sparse and the descriptions are laconic.

  • the dog whimpered with the injection and tried to fight it a bit. then he laid down and rested.

  • I didn't kill it but I watched a hamster die today.

I thank you trapeze flying, vegan, veterinary tech girl for the third best orgasm of my life.



TOR Hershman said...

For a groovy, religious orgasm visit moi's

Bloom said...

How satisfying would it be to hit a bird in mid air with a large automobile? I've only missed by inches.

DrugMonkey, Master of Pharmacy said...

Maybe you could start down the path of your life's calling with a microscope and a tube of antibiotic ointment.....

Romius T. said...

Thanks tor for all the porn!

Bloom, I wonder how that does not happen more often.

Drugmonkey, master of pharmamcy,
Once again sage advice, old friend!

commander other said...

one time, i was driving down the I-90 between Sioux Falls and Rapid City, and this whole flock of kamikaze birds attempted to play chicken with me, who was driving in the vicinity of 85mph. one bird was a little slower than the others, and pretty much hit the hood of my car square-on. it popped up so high, it landed about seven or eight seconds later. i drove all the way into Rapid City with a bit of flesh and some feathers stuck to the hood of the car.

Romius T. said...

so it does happen!

Bloom said...

I've done some research on the subject and I've found that baby birds, which often fly in the back of a flock, are often the easiest to hit and are hit quite often. Although, the satisfaction is often offset by the maternal guilt. I suppose it depends on whether you are pro-choice or pro-life. I await the day I find out my true position. Until then, I will continue to drive recklessly in the presence of non-domesticated animals and bicycle deliver men.

Romius T. said...

A was riding the bike to work and a pigeon flew right at me! fucking pigeons.