Friday, November 17, 2006

Orange you glad you are not my friend in real life? Or how you should never add Larry King as your MySpace pal.


Here's the part where I pretend that I am not just visiting this site to take a look at all the playmate babes displayed so classily all through out your background.

No I am really here just to say "Hi." Sure there are all kinds of ways to say "Hi." But dropping down a few lines on someones myspace says I care. I really care.

Sow how you doing? How's that novel coming along? Got any funny characters yet?

Also if your site doesn't have any playmate characters all over it, maybe it has ponies. Do you like ponies? Because I don't.

I would also prefer you didn't go looking around my other myspace friends and look to find which ones I gave the exact same post to.
Because we are real friends and any amount of time I devote to any of my other friends doesn't mean a thing. You know that don't you.

So how is that House coming? Is it getting all fancy? Have you settled in. Did you remember to leave a door open so I could get in and hide in the basement? Did you remember to delete all those love e-mails you keep sending me so your "hubby" won't find 'em?

That's a good girl.

Did you really think I could forget you? Maybe you could post a few more photos on your myspace.

I miss seeing you how you really are. Flash frozen and digitized. You're so less "back talky" this way too!

I still consider us friends even though somehow you have misplaced me on your "BFF" list. It totally did not bring me back to some high school era of insecurity.

I know our friendship is long lasting, I am in your will. But other people are starting to wonder. Why don't we just ease their minds and put me back in your list.

Otherwise, I mean who knows what I am capable of. Nothing really bad, I won't go after your kids. I realize you need the child support money for your "medicine."

Momma needs her medicine.

We might be brothers. We might see each other every day. But I still feel the need to "connect with you."

Maybe it is because I don't like being homeless. That's what our other brother enjoys. But he's hobo sheik like that. Me I just prefer to get on your good side.

How's that novel coming anyways? Is it going anywhere? Any conflict resolution yet?

Sorry about making that crack about you being a hobo. I know you're not a hobo. I just said that cuz your brother would think it's funny.

You're not gonna stop introducing me to all those crack whores you know are you? I need to get laid. It's been a while now. But I think that you know that, don't you. Don't hold out on me buddy.

I could have just given the same post to you. I know we aren't MySpace friends yet, but I do come over to your house for a little "poker." And I am not just talking about card games am I?

Is it inappropriate for me to make jokes about your "milfish" wife? Then I guess the other things I do to her are even more inappropriate aren't they?

Go ahead add me.

3 comments:

Jezebelsriot said...

They've blocked myspace at my job. What the hell am I supposed to do all day now? Work? I'd rather choke on raw chicken neckbone. Good news is that I will have much more time for your blog.

Romius T. said...

Those fuckers! I can't believe that they've done that to you.

Tell me the guy and I will kill him.

I do like the fact that all you have to do now is read my blog!!

Shirazi said...

I would replace the name. Only tell me what (name) is to be replaced with what. Thanks.