Sunday, March 25, 2007

I wanna write to you about the dead birds I've been seeing. I hope this doesn't creep you out.

I want to write about the birds I've been seeing. The dead ones. You don't normally see a lot of dead birds. You'd think you would see more. Lot's more of them.

I think birds number in the billions. And birds don't live very long. At least pigeons and black birds don't. I think. Maybe birds live a long time, but that still doesn't explain why you never see piles of dead birds lying on the street.

But lately things have changed. I've been seeing a lot more dead birds lately. It all started with the dead pigeon at my front door. I opened my front door to see a dead pigeon. Just lying there. Dead. Almost like my cat delivered it for me in that creepy cat way that cats have for showing you they like you.

Only I don't have cat.

But I've noticed since finding that dead bird that cats have been coming around the house a lot more frequently since I let that dead pigeon sit on my front porch for so long. It was really only a few days, but that was long enough to draw attention to this house for the neighborhood felines. They tend to pick up on these things.

But maybe the cats are on to something. Because it was my hope they'd take off with the dead pigeon. Relieving me from the "bad medicine" that a dead pigeon represents. Or at least sparing me the icky collection process.

No such luck. No cat would touch that pigeon long enough to drag it off. And no cat felt that this pigeon was what you might call a "prize" to take home to his overweight and lonely misses.

I am not as freaked out as my roommate over the dead pigeon. I am not what you call spiritual. I tend to get pissed when I am at the Grand Canyon and I can't get my Quizno's on. Warm and Toasty is how my God wanted my cheesesteak to be.

All that was before I began to see the dead black birds.

Normally I would all be for the death of as many black birds as I could find. Me and Black Birds have history. Black birds are spooky. They make your intestines queez up and like a big heaping spoonful of Olestra.

I hope their is nothing supernatural going on. That all these dead black birds I see everywhere aren't some kind of warning that only a forum loving chat room Lost watcher could decipher. Because if so we may well be all doomed. I don't see why the gods always deliver signs to the people least likely to see them or believe them.

Why can't the Pope see all these dead birds? I am sure he'd know exactly where to find this in Deuteronomy or Acts or whatever.

But nope it's just me. And I will just keep stepping around all these dead birds whenever I run into them. I am not going to let any of you asign any value to this occurence whatsoever. No matter how freaky this gets. I am just not.


Romius T.


Jezebelsriot said...

See, this is where I'm in constant contradiction. I believe the world is a collision of meaningless chances, but there is other part of me, maybe the 13 year old girl part of me that played with a Ouija board and pretended to channel dead little boys from the 1870s, that believes everything is a karmic sign waiting to be read.

So that part of me gives this advice, you better start living better or shit's about to go way downhill for you.

If you need psychic counseling let me know. I'll bust out the Parker bros Ouija board and summon up some dead assistance for you.

Romius T. said...

so true.