Thursday, March 29, 2007

What if I was a guy who lived in Arizona in the 21st century who like thought he was channeling Bukowski? I'd probably write something like this...


I opened the freezer door and inside I found boxes of frozen food. My roommate had placed all of the prepared food which did not "fit his diet" to the very left of the freezer. I could have any of that food I wanted. He even encouraged me to "eat it quickly, as it was taking up space."

I made a mental note of this. Mostly because I wanted him to get through organizing his freezer so I could place my bologna in the refrigerator. I was thinking about going on my bologna and cheese sandwich diet again. That may not seem like much of a diet. But it seemed a bit healthier than fast food every night.

Plus the last time I started the diet I dropped 12 pounds in about a month. Most people wouldn't try eating the same sandwich everyday, but that's because they eat ham. You can't eat ham sandwiches everyday. You'd get sick of them, quickly. Maybe that's because ham reminds you of the variety out there in the real world.

Bologna doesn't really have any taste. Maybe it did in the 50's. But today's turkey bologna is bland and inoffensive. So much so that a dollop of mustard awakens the tongue and reminds you that you are eating. Also a couple of those sandwiches and some Fritos and a cold glass of milk will keep your hunger pains away for hours. You could live off that for a few dollars a week. Even in the days of the 6 dollar onion.

6 comments:

Dr. Stephanie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dr. Stephanie said...

I'd lose weight on a balogna and cheese sandwich diet too. Mostly because you'd have to pry my jaws open to get me to choke down that shit. UGH.

Romius T. said...

oh doc. You are missing out on sweet mother earth, providing to her kin.

Jezebelsriot said...

Would you put ketchup on your bologna? I hear that is like blasphemy to the art of sandwich making, but I think it tastes pretty good.

Romius T. said...

omg you cannot put ketchup on your sandwhich. Oh. for the love of god , noooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

Malnurtured Snay said...

Hmm. Maybe I'll give it a try - I need to lose weight. A slice of cheese, too.