Monday, December 25, 2006

In the dream where I save the world from Aliens the World throws me a bitching "after party" featuring my favorite band UFO


I've been having this dream for as long as I can remember. One day I will write a screenplay and dramatizes it for you. Wait in line for the tickets because I will also direct the movie. It will be 3 times cooler than Independence Day.

THE ALIENS

They form a galactic democracy of intelligent species. Their mission is just like Star Trek's enterprise. They seek out new life, but once they find it they judge whether the life forms they have found are dangerous.

After witnessing planet Earth's history for the past few thousand years they pass sentence.

BAD NEWS

We're guilty and they plan on blowing the planet up.

GOOD NEWS

We get a trial to determine our final status. We even get appointed a "galaxy public defender" and a representative from Earth to defend our home.

The dream then goes into detail about the guidelines for choosing the representative and a host of other rules the rest of the accused people must obey in "prepping" the "choice."

MORE GOOD NEWS

I am chosen as the individual to defend the human race against charges that we are a violent and dangerous race that should just be destroyed before we acquire the capacity to inflict our evil ways on other worlds.

THE REALLY BAD NEWS

This is not the first trial of this sort. The accused have been found guilty 29,347 times in row. We are scheduled for demolition in 2859.

HOW I SAVE THE WORLD SCENES STYLIZED LIKE THE MOVIE- A FEW GOOD MEN

I enter the first ever guilty plea to the sentence. There are lots of scenes with my "host" public defender. We argue over my strategy. She says I am signing mankind's death warrant.

"Mankind" is her word. You would think aliens would be a little more politically correct.

Earth's public defender is like a totally hot human female-the easier for me to interact with. She eventually admits to being a synthetic human from the future.

You would think that future girl robots would subscribe to some kind of "girl power" ideology, but she doesn't.

FLASHBACKS THAT GET CUT INTO SCENES OF ME BICKERING WITH HOT ROBOTIC FUTURE GIRL

CNN's Larry King and various famous people evaluate my strategies like a really important Superbowl halftime show. There are long boring pedantic lectures by world famous philosophers on my tactics.

Other scenes flesh out the requirements for being selected as the "choice." The individual must not be too abnormal. Can't be a Mother Teresa type or a Steven Hawking IQ dude.

The choice must denote and be in touch with humanity. A decent level of verbal and written communication is necessary to build your case. A mixture of good and bad that "fight for his soul" is helpful.

CLIMAX

We win the argument by admitting to our potential for evil. But we promise to work on it. We get a reprieve.

THE Bitchinest AFTER PARTY of ALL TIME

I peg UFO to front the musical celebration. The sell hundreds of millions of records. I hang out with them on stage and even KAROKE a few songs. The bootleg CD's of my performance stay at number 1 on the Billboard charts for 10 years.

People like me.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

i've seen your movie already in an episode of star trek TNG
-la isla

Romius T. said...

Isa,

that and about every other scifi movie or show on tv.

But i have been having part of that dream at least since I was 8.

it runs like a serial soap from mexico. now lately it is just the after party where I am choosing the bands and stuff!

Jezebelsriot said...

My serial dream involves a zombie apocalypse where I'm scrambling to find (insert something I care about and am afraid of losing here). Usually my cat or Mike or my brothers. I never get eaten, but I run around a lot and jump across the tops of buildings and bash zombie face in like soft honeydew melons.

I will go see your movie.