At least that's what I have been told by a ninja. And if a ninja says you suck. Then you probably do suck. Ninjas don't lie. They just sneak up on you when you are least suspecting it and slash your throat.
Sometimes they stay and watch as the blood they spill gushes out on to the ground. I think some Ninjas get off on that. Not all of 'em mind you, but enough do that it gives the whole lot of them a bad name.
I've been a bit depressed again lately. I just read some of my old posts and none of them were very funny. I felt like giving up on my novel.
And after reading this post by the adorable Tweeker Chick and seeing how great it was and how it was like nothing I'd ever wrote. Well you can bet all my insecurities, doubts, and feelings about my usefulness were pretty much confirmed by all the attention she was getting.
I suck. I am not the cute 24 year old who sleeps on the wet spot for you. I keep losing my hair and gaining weight because I can't face waking up every morning without pounding down at least a few 2 liters of coke a cola.
I know that Ask A Ninja is a religious studies student. If I commit suicide because of his meanness do you think he will too? Cuz, it would be totally worth it if he would die. Or do you think his "ninja" side would just rationalize my death as dignified in the Samurai tradition?
Cuz if I am dead there is no way in hell I want that damn ninja to go on living.
Hugs and Cuddles
This post is dedicated to George Clooney's fine work on the Facts of Life.