Friday, December 15, 2006

Jena Malone is This Week in Jailbait


Don't think I haven't figured out who my target audience is. My target audience is nothing demographically like me. Sure there are more than a few perverts who like this site. I know the perverts because you get here by searching for nude pics of Jena Malone. But they don't make up the majority of readership.

My readership is largely female. I know I take a risk by posting some of this jailbait stuff. Because I also know how smart you are. You are smart. Very smart. Way smarter than most of the guys you know.

But you like me because I am smart too. You can identify with my "outsider" self. You are most likely fat. Maybe not huge, "I need a forklift to get to the McDonald's." But you are fat. At minimum you have the "fat girls complex." So even if you are not fat, you are the kinda girl who can enter a room without anyone noticing.

You probably have a great imagination. You needed it. Because no one wanted to be your friend. You probably flirted with a case of the bisexuality just because you're easy. You crave attention and affection.

And you know how desperate I am to give it to you.

I tell you how I feel. How guys feel. How you feel. You think I am kinda incredible for this. You get butterflies in your stomach because of all the truth I tell you.

But deep down you've pinned your secret "staying with him" hopes on me being a genius. It makes you feel real smart that you knew I was a genius before anyone else. Even if they don't find out till after we are both dead.

I am sure many of you may not understand my choice of Jena as Jailbait. I mean isn't she now 24 or something? True. And I think she might be a real artist or something. I know she only makes artsy films and stuff. The stuff is of course a youtube page called "of wild animals and the loss of her sister."

And you've got to go check out the stuff. Jena enjoys making student films. Jena really likes to sing too. She even has a recording contract. I think they gave it to her because of the wife beaters she wore in Cheaters. I am all for that. That wife beater rocked. And Jena really rocked that wife beater. I am not ashamed to say I beat a little to that. If you know what I mean. If you don't know I can't explain it to you. It might be a little uncomfortable for us.

Don't take my word. Take the word of one her 17 year old subscribers, "This is amazing. Jena's more talented than I thought. She can act, direct, sing, and be arty."

Jena's youtube experiment is still fresh. She only has 690 views and 27 subscribers. We can all get in the ground floor of this thing if we want. And I want. I want it bad.

2 comments:

foxxxylove said...

Jenna racked that beater? I'm laughing my skinnier black ass off right now. That was fuckin hilarious.

However, I think Jena's got a lil fug in her. I mean, did you see her in "Saved?" She was NOT hot. However, it might have something to do with the fact that her character got impregnated by her gay boyfriend because Jesus told her to sacrafice her coochie for her gay boyfriends sins. Something to think about during the Christmas season, huh?

Romius T. said...

Actually the white t-shirt I was talking about was in the movie cheaters and she was like 16 or 18 and it was a different shirt than I have pictured.

She just looks so young in this pic that I had to post it.