Some things are unrepairable

So you don't try and fix them. Which is why I barricade myself in here. The whole point of this website originally was to document my transition. To leave behind a document.

So that you would understand me. Some of you would have liked me. The antinomy tearing at your mind relentlessly like the knife I would have used. The turmoil in your mind can only be drowned out by the sound of blood gushing from your neck. You speak, but only in gurgles. When the blood abates and your precious oxygen can be drawn in. Your draining life interrupting your sage advice.

Only I don't like the killing part. I am not squeamish or timid. But my erection doesn't need to be soaked in the wounds of others.

Maybe I am just not as damaged as I'd like to be. But for now I lie still. And I will protect you. I will not unleash it.

But this story doesn't sit well with you. No, the prodigal son returns home. But not to victory. Not to set things right. But out of logic. Because the laws of action have consequences. Contingency is the most powerful source of our knowledge.

Where we to track events carefully we would find their solutions to be just. To be truthful. Physics cannot be sorry for its solutions.

Only in movies does science fail. Most likely you will never hear anything from me. Consider this my gift. You won't. You do not see the forces that swirl against you. You do not see over the tide that threatens us all.

I am a lonely ship captain. Who's one duty is to set sail into the maelstrom. But a good captain always goes down with his ship. Lifeboats are for rats or deserters.

If I do fail. It was not my fault. I went down with you too. I will perish alongside of you. Doing my best to steer you safe harbor in a storm.